Subject: The importance of a well structured sentence!
The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two
people,
Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used
the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying
all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.
The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before
but I either have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like s**t."
Not very funny
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john falconer
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- Location: jomtien
jokes
how can you tell which plane belongs to alitalia?............its the one with hair under its wings 
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john falconer
- Amateur
- Posts: 49
- Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2007 11:05 pm
- Location: jomtien
jokes
whats got ,two thumbs,speaks fluent french,and likes head ? MOIR.
A man comes home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV and says to his wife "Quick bring me a beer before it starts".
She looks a bit puzzled but brings him a beer. When he finishes he says, "Quick bring me a beer it's gonna start soon"
This time she looks a little angry, but brings him a beer. When its finished he says " Quick bring me another beer its imminent"
"That's it" she blows her top, "You Bastard! you waltz in here, flop your fat arse down, don't even say hello to me and you expect me to run around like a f**king slave getting you beer after beer. I cook and wash and iron and clean the plce all day long and......."
The husband sighs and says " Oh sh*t it's started"
She looks a bit puzzled but brings him a beer. When he finishes he says, "Quick bring me a beer it's gonna start soon"
This time she looks a little angry, but brings him a beer. When its finished he says " Quick bring me another beer its imminent"
"That's it" she blows her top, "You Bastard! you waltz in here, flop your fat arse down, don't even say hello to me and you expect me to run around like a f**king slave getting you beer after beer. I cook and wash and iron and clean the plce all day long and......."
The husband sighs and says " Oh sh*t it's started"
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john falconer
- Amateur
- Posts: 49
- Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2007 11:05 pm
- Location: jomtien
joke
what did the hurricane say to the palm tree? hang on to your nuts,,this is no ordinary blow job !
Re: jokes
john falconer wrote:whats got ,two thumbs,speaks fluent french,and likes head ? MOIR.
Sorry John, I've obviously suffered a sense of humour failure - can you explain please? Championship Plymouth Argyle 1 - 2 Leeds Utd 
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
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dtaai-maai
- Hero
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- Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:00 pm
- Location: UK, Robin Hood country
Re: jokes
Big Boy wrote:john falconer wrote:whats got ,two thumbs,speaks fluent french,and likes head ? MOIR.
I think John's fluent French temporarily let him down - he meant "moi"...
Still not very funny though!
Of course, I could be wrong.
This is the way
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john falconer
- Amateur
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- Location: jomtien
joke
can i help your lack of humour?
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Kraka's Dad
- Guru
- Posts: 787
- Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2004 8:47 pm
- Location: Wales UK
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and
informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love
and compassion. After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first
drink.
Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and
orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the
bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in
disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops
out!
The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink
again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down,
grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his
knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to
the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a
truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent.
The father moans in grief.
The bartender sighs and says...
(wait for it)
"He should have quit while he was a head!"
informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs.
The son is just a head!
But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love
and compassion. After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first
drink.
Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and
orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the
bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in
disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy.
The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again.
The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops
out!
The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink
again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"!
The bartender ignores the whole affair.
By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down,
grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it.
Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his
knees and tearfully thanks God.
The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to
the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a
truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent.
The father moans in grief.
The bartender sighs and says...
(wait for it)
"He should have quit while he was a head!"
RICHARD OF LOXLEY
It’s none of my business what people say and think of me. I am what I am and do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. It makes life so much easier.
It’s none of my business what people say and think of me. I am what I am and do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. It makes life so much easier.
Jockey wrote:Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from Essex arrived and bet twenty-thousand pounds (20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."
With that, she stripped to th e waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, baby.... Essex Girl needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down... and squealed...
"YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."
Moral ---
what do you call a blond with 2 brain cells?
.....pregnant!!!!!
Not all Essex girls are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But, all men.....are men
On the way to the station this morning, I rear-ended a car. The driver got out of the other car and he was a dwarf, poor bastard. He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said, 'I am not happy.'
So I said, 'Well, which one are you then?'
That's how the fight started...
So I said, 'Well, which one are you then?'
That's how the fight started...
Championship Plymouth Argyle 1 - 2 Leeds Utd
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
Points 46; Position 23 RELEGATED
