Mourning for a pet

[Jim]

This has nothing to do with Hua Hin, so I'm posting in Foo, but it has everything to do with me so please bear with me.

We have 2 very elderly cats, both are (or were) 16 in June. We have known that one of them has been ill for a while, but we have hoped of course that it could get better. But we were scared of taking it to the vet as the outcome is always the same when you take an old cat to the vet - you don't bring it back again. I work away from home in the week, but had planned to be home today as we knew that the cat was getting worse and we had to take her to the vet. But something came up at work and I had to come away, meaning that Sue, my wife, had to take the cat to the vet herself. Well, you know what happened, the thing had to be put to sleep.

It had a tumour, which we guessed, and was only going to get worse. It was happy, it didnt suffer and Sue was with her when she went. It had a really nice cat life and its time had come. I said goodbye to it this morning and said I'd see it on Thursday when I got home, but I knew really that I wouldn't.

This is just a normal run of the mill thing that happens when you have pets. And she was just a mangy old tabby. But she had been my cat for 16 years, I loved herand I cant believe she wont be there when I get home on Thursday night. And I've gone to pieces tonight in a way that grown 40-something bloke shouldn't do when a mangy old cat goes.

I don't know what the purpose of this message is and it's totally insignificant compared to some of the things that have happened over the past month, but I'm a mess tonight and I needed to type this.

Thanks.

[DawnHRD]

My sympathies to you & your wife, Jim. I know from experience how awful a situation it is to lose a pet. I have lost 3 of my own dogs to cancer (old age) and one to a blood disorder and I know how devasatated I was when they died or I had them put to sleep. It's probably no consolation to you now, but having her put to sleep painlessly & also your wife being with her were the best things you could have done for her. One of my dogs suffered for over 6 months with liver cancer (the other 2 went downhill very quickly, after diagnosis), she was in a lot of pain & every time I went to the vets I asked about putting her to sleep & every time was told it wasn't time. In the end, I rushed her to the vets early one morning after a horrendous night for her & she died in my arms as I walked into the surgery. I'll never forgive myself for not insisting they put her to sleep sooner.
I know it's a cliche, but for some people it does help to get another pet. It's not a betrayal of the one who died, as they will never be replaced in your heart & mind, no matter how much you love the new one, but it can help to fill the physical void left.
In my job now, I've had a lot of dogs die & had to have a few put to sleep (nine over last Christmas, through distemper) & Mum & I cry over every single one. You never lose that, it's always devastating.
You & your wife were very lucky to have this cat in your lives for so long & to have the love & memories & she was very lucky to have you.
Take care.

[PeteC]

No problems at all Jim. I and many have been through exactly the same thing. Everyone needs to remember that a pet is indeed a part of a family, giving unconditional love and companionship for many years. Not to mourn would be unusual. You're not alone. Pete

[mozzy]

we had the best dog in the world - he'd adopted my dad when he was a stray and when my dad died we had him another 10 years (we think he was about 17). I had to take him to be put to sleep and I felt like a murderer. Even worse was the fact that my bus was late and I had to rush him to get to the vets for the last appointment. I mourned for him like Id lost a child and I havent been able to face getting another. I couldnt go through that again. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your beloved cat.