'Do not Date Lady with Dark Skin or a Muslim'

[MrPlum]

Such was the advice given me by a senior policeman on first visiting Thailand. It did puzzle me at first but then you see how the dark-skinned Thais are perceived and treated. Their efforts to whiten their skin with chemicals and powders often leaves me saddened. Many lhave damaged their skin. What is bizarre is that half the world is trying to be white and won't go out in the sun, while the other half spends every day of their foreign holidays trying to get brown.

Then there is the Muslim comment. I have never dated a Muslim lady, although I have met a few and they all seem okay to me.

Has anyone on the forum dated or even married a Muslim lady and what is your experience? This is perhaps more relevant in a Southern Thailand forum. Except I doubt if any practicing Muslim would be working in bars, massage parlours and beauty salons. At least, I didn't see many head-scarves when in Krabi.

Thoughts?

[dtaai-maai]

I once dated a girl from a Pakistani Muslim family who worked for the UNHCR, but she wasn't a practising Muslim herself. She was a well-educated London-raised and westernised lady with a very un-Muslim approach to pretty much everything!

I doubt any self-respecting Thai Muslim lady would go within a mile of a farang looking for female company in Thailand. Unless perhaps he was a Muslim.

As for the Thai attitude to their dark-skinned compatriots - hasn't that been done to death on here?

[Big Boy]

This seems very strange, racial advice to be given to a newcomer to Thailand by a senior policeman. Maybe it would help if you put the reason for the advice to give the thread more context. I've been here almost 2 years now, and the only contact I've had with police has been at Immigration, or traffic stops.

[kendo]

Maybe it's the start of a conspiracy theory.

Kendo.

[STEVE G]

Has anyone on the forum dated or even married a Muslim lady and what is your experience?

Yes, not in Thailand but I lived with an Indonesian Muslim for six years and my daughter is still living there. My impression was that they're not much different than how we are in England about religion in that they go through the motions to keep older members of the family happy but they don't really believe in it. My ex-partner is a Muslim but she sent my daughter to a Catholic school because the education is better so work that one out!

[hhfarang]

I didn't know Muslim girls dated (or were allowed to). I thought they were traded to their future husbands for the required number of camels and goats, with or without their approval, but then I did live in Saudi Arabia for a few years so maybe it's different in other Muslim countries. I guess they don't all have camels and goats.

When I lived in the middle east there was always the possibility that the bride never even saw or spoke to her husband until after they were married, as the deal was made between the fathers/families and the weddings were a double affair with the men in one location and the women in another during the ceremony so that the bride and groom did not actually get together until after they were married.

[MrPlum]

As for the Thai attitude to their dark-skinned compatriots - hasn't that been done to death on here?

There are many subjects that have been done to death for the forum addicts but not for new members who join all the time.

The policeman concerned was just trying to be honest. Highly unusual I know.

[joecoolfrog]

I didn't know Muslim girls dated (or were allowed to). I thought they were traded to their future husbands for the required number of camels and goats, with or without their approval, but then I did live in Saudi Arabia for a few years so maybe it's different in other Muslim countries. I guess they don't all have camels and goats.

When I lived in the middle east there was always the possibility that the bride never even saw or spoke to her husband until after they were married, as the deal was made between the fathers/families and the weddings were a double affair with the men in one location and the women in another during the ceremony so that the bride and groom did not actually get together until after they were married.

I wonder if the Muslim world judges all Christians based on the antics of the evangelical nutjobs in the USA ?

[hhfarang]

^ Yes, I believe they do...

[Lung Per]

I once dated a Muslem girl. Her Niqab always came in the way for a good BJ so that didn't last long.

[Big Boy]

The policeman concerned was just trying to be honest. Highly unusual I know.

His job could have been on the line if such a racist statement were proved in many countries.

OK, this is the last I'll say on this because you obviously don't want to give us the context of the meeting/statement, and I don't want to steal the thread. However, it still sounds a very strange thing to say to a newbie to Thailand by a senior policeman.

[MrPlum]

...you obviously don't want to give us the context of the meeting/statement

Why is it necessary?

It was a 1 hour flight and it looked like he had gone through the passenger list, looked for a 'falang' who had written 'business' as a reason for flying and arranged to sit next to me. I met him a few times after that in Bangkok and elsewhere for business lunches and he is a very useful contact. We had a long conversation on the flight and as part of him establishing a relationship, he tried to advise me not to make poor decisions. At least, from his point of view.

Thais aren't infected with political correctness. They talk openly about their skin colour.

[sand_dancer]

Why is it necessary?

Just about sums you up.......

[MrPlum]

Sigh... yet another basket-case unravels in public.

[Takiap]

I met a very dark skinned Muslim girl in a bar in Bangkok when I first came here in 1997. She was not a full time bar girl, but did it more for the fun and the wild sort of night life that went with the bar scene in those days. Her family were/are practicing Muslims, but not not very strict. The girl in question was a really fun girl to hang out with and we shared some fantastic times together back then.

These days she's married to a Farang and she's a good girl. That is, she left that crazy life behind her a long time ago. Even after all these years, she still calls me and whenever her and her husband are here, they usually come and visit us, or we go and spend a day or two with them.


So, she' dark skinned; she's Muslim, and for good measure, she worked in Patpong. Nonetheless, she's turned out to be a very decent and loving wife and mother of four boys.