Their naivety and lack of knowledge of the outside world is unbelievable. To them every foreigner must be better than a Thai man and I suppose, if you have been drunkenly beaten by one, for 18 years, you may be right.
So. Where to find this rarity? A good man.
Their first tactic was to get online. This was new to both of them and like giggling schoolgirls, they found someone to talk to. It seemed to be going well until, on Skype, they were chatting but came upon a word they were unfamiliar with. "Darling", my puzzled beau asked. "What P-U-S-S-Y mean?"
"What?" I responded, in knowing disbelief.
"P-U-S-S-Y. What mean?"
So I came away from my screen and walked over to look at what had been written. There, in video, was as unsavoury a Turkish man as you could find, lying on his bed, awaiting his moment of virtual pleasure, from his unworldly victim. "Please show me your P....."
Hmm... I explained what it meant and and they were, understandably, shocked.
'Why man do?'
'Welcome to the perils of internet dating', said I. Needless to say, the randy Turk was dispatched with haste.
Next came Plan B. It's off to the Hilton disco to find her a man. Even if nothing happened, it would be good for the lady to dance her sorrows away. Her husband never allowed it.
So, off the girls went, thinking the place would be filled with eager-to-be-married foreigners, carrying bags of money. The Hilton is filled with bar-girls, massage ladies, beauty salon workers and perhaps, a decent lady or two. Most men know this is where to go to get laid. At least, so I have heard.
The night started well. She's attractive and it didn't take long for someone to move in on her. They danced the night away, eyes sparkling, drink flowing and... giddy with joy... love started to blossom. You can tell because he kept trying to slip his hand down her skirt.
The two pals came home in the small hours and my usually quiet homebody g/f was not enjoying the rod she had created for her own back. Designated translator. The man was an Arab and very much married.
Two strikes.
Now came the time for me to sit them down and explain some of the facts of life. Experienced hands know what I mean. There are some nationalities out there that are better than others. If I had to make a list, I would say Canadians, Australians, Brits, Americans, northern Europeans. There are plenty of bad ones in amongst them but on balance I'd say your chances are better with these.
For the record. I am friends with a Turkish man and he's happily married, a good provider and a great guy.
Part of the problem is that outside Thailand, Thai ladies are widely regarded as prostitutes. This is unfair but the reputation of places like Pattaya helps create this perception. So the men that are hunting online are mostly 'mongers' and not serious about relationships. On the ladies side, dating sites are filled with bar and massage girls, on fishing expeditions, when the bars are closed. It's a huge game of I want your body versus I want your money. Somewhere in there you are trying to find love.
There are other reasons why online dating is fraught with risk. Perhaps the man is serious but after 4 years of tender messaging he suddenly decides he's not going to come to Thailand after all. There is a tendency for people to fantasize, creating false pictures in their mind.
All that aside, there must be places where people can meet that don't involve the internet or staying up until 4 am. The internet may be convenient and the bar quick but both offer poor prospects unless you have the patience and perseverance to message 100 men to find the 5 that are decent.
So, my fellow HHAD members, any suggestions?
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