rules of engagement for big farang

[belinda toms]

you come to thailand for the frist time and seek advise on ladies of the nite. where do you go for help. right here at hhad where myself and others will guide you through the pitfalls and landminds. #1 never get married unless you have kids.#2 don't let your private parts dictate to your brain. you must go through at least 10 before let love [cringe] take over. #3 never buy house. rent unless you start family. #4 learn to say no to girls right away. little things are ok. no you cannot buy those shoes-sunglasses-makeup-cellphone-gold-car-house. say no,no,no. get it out of your mouth right away.#5 forget girls with nose\body rings. tats[body printing]. drugs users. drunks.swearing foul mouthed girls.#6 girls that start asking for money right away[and they can come up with some real clever ideas]. refer to #4. #7 avoid girls from very poor families. this may seem harsh[tough twinkies] but remember if you become involved you are going to start supporting her and her FAMILY. #8 if your new drinking friends tell you she has a boyfriend\husband abandon ship. run.#9 if she says she loves you bang your head against the nearest wall and run.#10 try to find a girl who has good english,a sense of humor, some education[you'll be real lucky],and has not left her childern behind to seek fame and fortune. if she can leave her kids you don't stand and chance. #11 do not repeat do not take any of your money and place it in thier bank for any reason.#12 don't tell anyone how much money you are worth. girls or guys. it's none of their business.





















this advise[and others will add thier 2 cents] is free. pay attention big farang. your happiness and well being are at stake

[Johan]

I like girls with tatoos

[Spitfire]

And I get told I'm cynical on here sometimes.

Some of your list could be said to be prudent but some are just plain bollox.

Too many generalisations there I'm afraid, and all that coming from someone called 'Belinda'................ If you're a western bird then, with all due respect, I reckon I know more about this subject than you. If you're not a bird then you've got issues joining a forum in Thailand and choosing that as your call sign.

We are all architects of our own situations and therefore shouldn't bleat too much when things go wrong, there are many good girls here, but then again, the success stories are just not as newsworthy, are they?

Most of these horror stories come from people who made pathetically poor judgments when choosing a partner, there are many that choose correctly.

You'll find plenty of success stories despite the fracturing of those so-called "rules".

What you should have just said is "don't marry hookers", but that's too obvious, isn't it?

I suppose it depends how much money you have to throw away, how old you are, and whether you actually give a toss about it anyhow, maybe some older guys just want to drink and shag, blow money, and have a rogues life in the twilight of their lives. Good luck to them, I say, none of my business.

You cannot assume that everyone views stuff from the same angle or situation with the same end in mind.

All a case of 'Whatever floats your boat' or 'what is it that you're after.'

I suppose a man (or woman) can be defined/summed up by the actions he/she takes or the company they keep, much can be learned from this regarding anyone, including choice of spouse.

[Jimbob]

I think Richard put the rules better in his recent post elsewhere on "Brit pensioner etc'based on his own experience
http://www.huahinafterdark.com/forum/vi ... 46#p199356

I'm inclined to follow Spitfire's intuition of dear Belinda's identity.

[poosmate]

Who is this Big Farang that needs advise

[Rider]

Who is this Big Farang that needs advise

Perhaps it's a friend of Belinda's who comes on this forum!

[charlesh]

Try reading Arthur Hicks's book "My Thai girl and I". Although rather an appeasing view of Issan?Esan?Isaan? women and its people is rather interesting and relevant!

[Bamboo Grove]

Dear Belinda,
I've been seeing this Isan girl for some time. I pay her 10.000 Baht a month plus buy her family two buffaloes every year. Do you think this is enough or should I give something more to give her family happy?

[E-Dork]

avoid girls from very poor families. this may seem harsh[tough twinkies] but remember if you become involved you are going to start supporting her and her FAMILY

Possibly the most stupid comment I have ever heard on HHAD (from anyone other than myself that is )

Some of the poorest people here and around the world are the most grateful to have any luxury placed upon them and, if you are worried about financial aspects and how much your girls gonna cost you then...... well, I would consider finding another girl as yours is a gold digger. Girls either love you or they don't plain and simple. I mentioned this in the 'to marry a lady of the night' thread and, really, it doesn't just apply to hookers. It should be fairly simple to evaluate the relationship and see if a girl is in it for the money or that she actually loves you.

To say it's the poor which will bleed you dry is just absolute hogwash.

[MrPlum]

#1 never get married unless you have kids.

Or if it provides for the future security of someone who has given the best years of their life for you.

#2 don't let your private parts dictate to your brain. you must go through at least 10 before let love [cringe] take over.
If you mean 'lust', say so. Without love, relationships are a desert.

#3 never buy house. rent unless you start family.
After paying rent for 4 years I realized I could have bought a house outright. Is your suggestion smart?

#4 learn to say no to girls right away. little things are ok. no you cannot buy those shoes-sunglasses-makeup-cellphone-gold-car-house. say no,no,no. get it out of your mouth right away.
My g/f needs a mobile so I can call her and tell her how much I love her.

#5 forget girls with nose\body rings. tats[body printing]. drugs users. drunks.swearing foul mouthed girls.
You just described English girls. To be fair, my Thai wife is actually like this. I chose her because she is also exciting, passionate, funny, stunning and her family owns a big yacht.

#6 girls that start asking for money right away[and they can come up with some real clever ideas].
If they don't ask, how can I bribe them for sex?

#7 avoid girls from very poor families. this may seem harsh[tough twinkies] but remember if you become involved you are going to start supporting her and her FAMILY.
But girls from rich families are obnoxious, materialistic, social climbers and want equality. Give me the poor family any day. They just want a set of mag wheels.

#8 if your new drinking friends tell you she has a boyfriend\husband abandon ship. run.
And this is somehow a revelation?

#9 if she says she loves you bang your head against the nearest wall and run.
I prefer to wrap my arms around her and purr like a kitten.

#10 try to find a girl who has good english,a sense of humor, some education[you'll be real lucky],and has not left her childern behind to seek fame and fortune.
I found a girl like this but her family said I was too poor and they didn't want to support me.

'if she can leave her kids you don't stand and chance.'
Anyone that is forced to leave their children to try to provide for their future, knowing they sacrifice their own happiness is a far better person than you.

#11 do not repeat do not take any of your money and place it in their bank for any reason.
Wanting a mortgage is a good reason, isn't it?

#12 don't tell anyone how much money you are worth. girls or guys. it's none of their business.
I told mine I had lost all my money in the financial crisis and her family have offered to support me. What shall I do?

[Farang]

I think Belinda's advise is sound and well founded in reality. It's good advise to anyone needing such advise.

So it goes.

[MrPlum]

I think Belinda's advise is sound and well founded in reality. It's good advise to anyone needing such advise.

Yes it is. Now all Belinda has to do is create a poll and ask how many people have heeded such advise?

Rare is the person who learns from others' mistakes.

[lomuamart]

avoid girls from very poor families. this may seem harsh[tough twinkies] but remember if you become involved you are going to start supporting her and her FAMILY

Possibly the most stupid comment I have ever heard on HHAD (from anyone other than myself that is )

Some of the poorest people here and around the world are the most grateful to have any luxury placed upon them and, if you are worried about financial aspects and how much your girls gonna cost you then...... well, I would consider finding another girl as yours is a gold digger. Girls either love you or they don't plain and simple. I mentioned this in the 'to marry a lady of the night' thread and, really, it doesn't just apply to hookers. It should be fairly simple to evaluate the relationship and see if a girl is in it for the money or that she actually loves you.

To say it's the poor which will bleed you dry is just absolute hogwash.

Well said.
The other side is not to let these "poor" people down. Just be honest - both ways.

[E-Dork]

Lomumart said...

The other side is not to let these "poor" people down. Just be honest - both ways.

This is so simple and absolutely crucial, yet it seems difficult to understand for some.

Scenario 1:

Back at home you are married with a few kids, nice house, good job blah blah blah. Wife finds out you've been/are sleeping with hookers. What's she gonna do...? She's gonna take your sorry arse to the cleaners, THAT'S what she's gonna do!

Scenario 2:

The same situation happens in Thailand. What happens? Farang shouts crazily about how he's been ripped off by his Bitch of a Thai wife.

Relationships hold no ground whatsoever if either party is not being honest.

[E-Dork]

Relationships hold no ground whatsoever if either party is not being honest.

Just had a sudden memory from around 12 years ago that was less than pure. To say I have never strayed from the path of loyalty to my wife would be a lie.

It was in the year 1998. Me and some friends were out in the ever-teasing area of Patpong. I believe the establishment was Classroom 2. This girl had caught my eye like no other had managed in the couple of decades married to the missus. The powerful animal lust normally only reserved for rabbits and lions had overpowered me and I shamefully had myself a session of rampant love making. It was a wonderful two and a half minutes but the next morning I couldn't live with myself. The guilt that overcame me was unbearable and I owned up to the missus. She finally spoke with me a few days later after the initial tirade of abuse and I fortunately was forgiven. The sacrifice that came with this was that I no longer was trusted to go out to those kind of areas which was understandable. This is different to no longer trusting your other half at all. If that happens there is no salvaging the relationship as once that trust is gone you might as well chain yourself to the bedroom door as that's the only way she's gonna be happy.

A little slip up which fortunately didn't destroy our marriage. Honesty is KEY, even if it's owning up to something, the good girls and relationships can last through those moments if they are brought out in the open.