Ten Observations for Reflection After a Bar Fight with 10 Th

[Tyler]

(or 10 Reasons to be Proud you Got the Shit Kicked out of you)

• You prove to the ten Thai kickboxers that no matter how out-numbered you are, a Hoosier is not about to back down (a Hoosier is someone from Indiana, USA, we are know for our pig-headedness, but not our intellect)

• You get to see the inside of a Thai Emergency and add 12 stitches to your portfolio

• You don’t realize all the ailments until several days later, like the thickening black eye, pain and numbness down the left side of your face that begins to take on a life of their own, bruise the size of a foot the on your right hip, others yet to come, I’m sure

• Right shoulder (your last good one after the motorbike accident in April in Koh Samui) keeps popping out of socket at the most inopportune times

• A distinct realization that when you walk into a fight with 10 Thai kickboxers, you may want to take at least a pool stick, or a club, or at least a fork, since you don’t have any male friends in Hua Hin (have plenty of female ones, but I try to keep them out away from each other so they don’t scratch each other’s eyes out)

• Overwhelming satisfaction that I bloodied at least one shirt beside mine, and several shoes and flip flops, jammed some toes, scared the shit out of those ten kick boxers. Bunch of loosers. Good thing the objective observers pulled them off me when they did, because I could almost stand on my own, and I was prepared to do some serious damage to those guys. I had them right where I wanted them, surrounding me while I cuddling on the floor, trying to fend off kicks and blows

• Cognitive realization that increased alcoholic consumption decreases the defense reaction, like two swift whacks with a pool stick that fortunately left both vertical and horizontal gashes in my forehead (give me a break… is that the best you can do????) could have been deflected had I forgone the 8 hours of consumption of vodka and tequila

• Shooting the Bhuddist ahimsa (non-violence) theory all to hell, and proving that if you bump one Bhuddhist Thaiboxer when he is drunk and about to make a shot in pool, you can genuinely almost hear ahimsa bullshit up, trust me…. Got a camera? I can show you!!!! This was purely for research purposes, and OK, I have to admit that maybe they weren’t all kickboxers, I didn’t really get the chance to ask. And I am not sure there were ten of them, but there certainly several of them. These guys really stick (pun intended) for each other

• Don’t think for a minute that your Thai girlfriend will be sympathetic. She will think you are a dick, first for getting drunk, second for leaving when you were challenged by the guy you intentionally bumped for talking too much to attractive women (oops), and finally, going back into the bar right next to where she works and making a damn fool of yourself. OK, I get it. As pathetic as that sounds, I agree with it. Damn, I am a fool! I should have bought him a drink, then slammed a cue ball up the side of his head…. Sorry, I am joking again. I shouldn’t flirt so much, and I should have left hours ago. Had less to drink. I know it

• Finally, the local police said that I and the perpetrators had to show up at 1pm. Unfortunately, the next day, I did as I was told. I first showed up at the tourist police who didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. (My girlfriend, who is a much better person than me, told me the same thing the police told me while I was bleeding all over them), that I had to show up to the police station at 1pm. I went to the Tourist Police, who didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. Then, I went to the city police who were also uninformed. After 30 minutes, I gave them my phone number and told them I was leaving, please call me if you need me.

As I was walking in, one police officer walked in and showed me a pool stick, and ask if that was the one I was struck with. I said, yes, but let’s face it. If you’ve been struck by one pool cue, you have been struck by them all. Then he showed me the ID of the man who struck me with the pool cue. Hell if I could tell if this was the right man; I would have to see him swing it at me to know for sure. Anyway, two minutes later the Thai man walked in (that I could have sworn was not the man) with a tall European, and the perpetrator’s mother, sister (wife), and daughter.

Since I had not swung a punch, being the tough American that I am I know that is hard to believe, they asked me to press charges. Instead, I shook the culprit’s hand, and said I didn’t want to press charges. He said he was sorry, and didn’t know what happened, that I had hit him, and I corrected, “I bumped you” and demonstrated the bump for the policeman.

I said I was not going to press charges, and the assailant hugged me. The last thing I wanted was a police recorded of any kind, and I was quite embarrassed by the whole ordeal. I hugged him the assailant back, as if we were old friends.

The police chief said, good. This is good.

We hugged again. (I could tell he needed a hug.) And the culprit’s mother thanked me with her hands pressed in ahimsa gratitude, I suppose. I think they were afraid he'd be arrested or pay a huge fine or something.

[sandman67]

Tyler

here is the most basic lesson you forgot:

If you want to pick fights with anyone you should sod off to Patayya where you can fight all you like.

[Jim]

Aha, I guess the general attitude on this board will be a little disappointment that they let you off so lightly. A good spell in hospital followed by deportation back to Hoosierville would seemed more appropriate.

[Wanderlust]

I get the distinct impression that our friend Tyler is using sarcasm in his post; I am guessing the 'bump' was probably accidental, but even if not was not expected to elicit a beating from the bumpee and friends. A candid confession of being too drunk and flirting which could probably happen to anyone.

[russ]

what a pratt

(or 10 Reasons to be Proud you Got the Shit Kicked out of you)

• You prove to the ten Thai kickboxers that no matter how out-numbered you are, a Hoosier is not about to back down (a Hoosier is someone from Indiana, USA, we are know for our pig-headedness, but not our intellect)

• You get to see the inside of a Thai Emergency and add 12 stitches to your portfolio

• You don’t realize all the ailments until several days later, like the thickening black eye, pain and numbness down the left side of your face that begins to take on a life of their own, bruise the size of a foot the on your right hip, others yet to come, I’m sure

• Right shoulder (your last good one after the motorbike accident in April in Koh Samui) keeps popping out of socket at the most inopportune times

• A distinct realization that when you walk into a fight with 10 Thai kickboxers, you may want to take at least a pool stick, or a club, or at least a fork, since you don’t have any male friends in Hua Hin (have plenty of female ones, but I try to keep them out away from each other so they don’t scratch each other’s eyes out)

• Overwhelming satisfaction that I bloodied at least one shirt beside mine, and several shoes and flip flops, jammed some toes, scared the shit out of those ten kick boxers. Bunch of loosers. Good thing the objective observers pulled them off me when they did, because I could almost stand on my own, and I was prepared to do some serious damage to those guys. I had them right where I wanted them, surrounding me while I cuddling on the floor, trying to fend off kicks and blows

• Cognitive realization that increased alcoholic consumption decreases the defense reaction, like two swift whacks with a pool stick that fortunately left both vertical and horizontal gashes in my forehead (give me a break… is that the best you can do????) could have been deflected had I forgone the 8 hours of consumption of vodka and tequila

• Shooting the Bhuddist ahimsa (non-violence) theory all to hell, and proving that if you bump one Bhuddhist Thaiboxer when he is drunk and about to make a shot in pool, you can genuinely almost hear ahimsa bullshit up, trust me…. Got a camera? I can show you!!!! This was purely for research purposes, and OK, I have to admit that maybe they weren’t all kickboxers, I didn’t really get the chance to ask. And I am not sure there were ten of them, but there certainly several of them. These guys really stick (pun intended) for each other

• Don’t think for a minute that your Thai girlfriend will be sympathetic. She will think you are a dick, first for getting drunk, second for leaving when you were challenged by the guy you intentionally bumped for talking too much to attractive women (oops), and finally, going back into the bar right next to where she works and making a damn fool of yourself. OK, I get it. As pathetic as that sounds, I agree with it. Damn, I am a fool! I should have bought him a drink, then slammed a cue ball up the side of his head…. Sorry, I am joking again. I shouldn’t flirt so much, and I should have left hours ago. Had less to drink. I know it

• Finally, the local police said that I and the perpetrators had to show up at 1pm. Unfortunately, the next day, I did as I was told. I first showed up at the tourist police who didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. (My girlfriend, who is a much better person than me, told me the same thing the police told me while I was bleeding all over them), that I had to show up to the police station at 1pm. I went to the Tourist Police, who didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. Then, I went to the city police who were also uninformed. After 30 minutes, I gave them my phone number and told them I was leaving, please call me if you need me.

As I was walking in, one police officer walked in and showed me a pool stick, and ask if that was the one I was struck with. I said, yes, but let’s face it. If you’ve been struck by one pool cue, you have been struck by them all. Then he showed me the ID of the man who struck me with the pool cue. Hell if I could tell if this was the right man; I would have to see him swing it at me to know for sure. Anyway, two minutes later the Thai man walked in (that I could have sworn was not the man) with a tall European, and the perpetrator’s mother, sister (wife), and daughter.

Since I had not swung a punch, being the tough American that I am I know that is hard to believe, they asked me to press charges. Instead, I shook the culprit’s hand, and said I didn’t want to press charges. He said he was sorry, and didn’t know what happened, that I had hit him, and I corrected, “I bumped you” and demonstrated the bump for the policeman.

I said I was not going to press charges, and the assailant hugged me. The last thing I wanted was a police recorded of any kind, and I was quite embarrassed by the whole ordeal. I hugged him the assailant back, as if we were old friends.

The police chief said, good. This is good.

We hugged again. (I could tell he needed a hug.) And the culprit’s mother thanked me with her hands pressed in ahimsa gratitude, I suppose. I think they were afraid he'd be arrested or pay a huge fine or something.

[thaiorchid]

Tyler.
In your very first post here you asked: " Can anyone recommend a competent English speaking therapist ?"
Now we all understand why !!
thaiorchid

[norm]

Don't think you will get much sympathy here if that is what you are looking for. I agree sounds like Pattaya would be more to your liking. Give it a try. Check back in a few years and let us know how you like it there.

[Chas]

Tyler, I enjoyed the story . . .and the sarcasm.

Thanks for posting it.

You describe a scene I am not familiar with (though I walk up Bintabat a few times a week) as I dont frequent bars, have never been in a fight in my long life and dont even play pool.

I am happy for you that it turned out so well though and that you probably learned a valuable lesson from the experience. From your description of them your injuries seem punishment enough to me. ( I am guessing that you are in your early 20's!) There are certainly lessons still to be learned.

Anyway . . just ignore the folks here who will tell you to "get out of town" . . . to leave Hua Hin or Thailand . .that is a stock "HHAD" reply. You have every right to be here . . like none of them has ever had a spot of bother in a bar!!

Good luck healing!

[dtaai-maai]

There are two ways of reading this:

(i) Macho, boasting braggart way too pleased with himself,
(ii) Ironic confession of idiotic behaviour.

I'll go with the second as I'm a generous soul, but, Tyler, don't ever offer to buy me a few drinks...

[Big Boy]

a Hoosier is someone from Indiana, USA, we are know for our pig-headedness, but not our intellect

If the cap fits .................

ten Thai kickboxers

A strange claim - I would have thought as martial artists they would have been more restrained. No matter how good the OP thinks he is, it wouldn't have taken 10 of them. More likely to have upset 10 locals with the ability to kick.

add 12 stitches

Does Tyler wear his underpants on the outside? 10 trained martial artists against one (by his own admission) drunken lout, and only 12 stitches - this has to be a total wind up.

[Chas]

Hello? This was written to be funny. Humor . .you know ...hyperbole, joke, sarcasm, satire . . .that kind of stuff. Where now is that much bragged about British sense of humour? Oh well, he isnt Brit then is he . . .so I guess it doesnt apply here. You guys are quite something else.

[Big Boy]

Personally, I didn't find find it very funny. Maybe it's because we've seen so many other holiday resorts both inside and outside of Thailand polluted by such thuggery.

As it's not for real, I'll move it in to FOO.

Maybe if it had been posted in the right section, it would have been taken for what it really was.

[caller]

Well it made me smile and I agree with dtaai-maai's 2nd option!

[STEVE G]

I must admit that I thought it was just a description of drunken bar fighting and didn't find the humour obvious.
If it was supposed to make me laugh, then that is all well and good as it is perhaps my failing for not sharing the writers sense of humour, but if it's just bragging about hooligan behaviour then I'll echo the sentiments above that Hua Hin doesn't need that kind of thing.

[Big Boy]

IMHO the OP got it wrong by posting in an area where sensible discussion normally takes place. Had he/she posted in FOO, or added a few emoticons, then it would probably have been read in the correct context by most people.