Where do we fit in?

[richard]

Cheers sarge

Beginning to think 'integration' is a dirty word

[kendo]

... I believe some individual Thais & Farangs like me, some don't & most don't give a toss about me either way.

I think that's about right.
Outside of a few, how many Thais do we care about?
If one were to judge falangs from some of the stuff posted, it would seem most falangs have no respect or liking for Thai people, seeing them as irritating, thieving children.
I do suspect their shorts are not in a knot about us, though.[/quote]

For me, when i say i don't read to much, or care to much whether i fit in or not. That is the big point for me, i have a stressfull demanding job and to go up to the village and switch off and relax it's great i do a lot of fishing and drinking and sit on the varanda watching the village life pass me by. Anything to do with the Thai's business, or social i just let the mrs sort things.I am quite happy to be in a very alien environment where i dont have to worry about anything except the vicious dogs, in our village there is only 2 other farangs and 3 thai's that speak english.
I am under no illusion where we fit in it's all about money in this very bent country the majority of people are on the take.The MIB boss and other cops pop around for a drink, i don't mind this because it might deter burglars they sit on the varanda drinking whisky and the wife sits there and traslates.The wife's brother wants to be MIB and has been turned down twice, but the big boss said to the wife that he can guarantee that he will get in and it will only cost 100,000 baht, all these smiles and chinking the wisky glasses all very false, he allways tells the wife "you will never have a problem in my town, or if you get a problem anywhere in Thailand then call me i will sort things out" .We put this to the test 18 months a go when a family member got arrested for having a bag of grass on the Cambodian border, the problem solved for money and 2 brand new football shirts within 4 hours, he was very lucky we where in the village at the time or he could have done 4 years in the jail these MIB are not friends, i am paying for it in the long run and take this with a pinch of salt .

[sargeant]

If thinking about and working hard constantly to integrate and working equally as hard to earn my hosts and friends respect is delusional then i am GLAD naye PROUD to say guilty as charged M lud

Due to my health i dont get out much and have in the last 6 Six months had one farang visit me twice and i spoke to one when i was in the local shop luckily my thai friends visit me to reinforce my delusions so i am fine and happy

Cheers Richard must be us oldies with the time in thingy integration must be a word with a different meaning to what we think times change and so does the english language perchance

[Norseman]

in the last 6 Six months had one farang visit me twice and i spoke to one when i was in the local shop luckily my thai friends visit me to reinforce my delusions so i am fine and happy

That is your choice Sargeant!!

Maybe this is the way you want to live but it certainly isn't my way of living.
Surrounded by Thais I must say that I'm happy to visit my farang-friends, simply because they are my friends and has nothing to do with respect or anything else.

I can never think like a Thai, live like a Thai, look like a Thai or speak like a Thai because I'm simply not a Thai -

I love my Thai family, my Thai friends their country and climate.
I have chosen to live here and I do my best to adapt to the lifestyle and way of living in Thailand, but I'm still a farang in a far away country.
You understand that when you take a walk in downtown Hua Hin and you repeatedly are approached by tuk tuk drivers, mb taxis, dressers etc. that you are NOT a Thai.

[Super Joe]

I agree with someone.

SJ

[sargeant]

quote norseman "That is your choice Sargeant!! "
Not a mental choice i am afraid i am unable due to my health to get out and about the point is that i am not missing anything by having to live secluded.

quote norse man "I have chosen to live here and I do my best to adapt to the lifestyle and way of living in Thailand, "

Thats what i think me and richard would call integrating

You are correct that we are all falangs in a far away country and always will be however i am glad to say the Thais i meet and socialise with long ago stopped looking on me as a tourist if you know what i mean

[DawnHRD]

Cheers sarge

Beginning to think 'integration' is a dirty word

No, integration is a vital part of living here, as I've said in my posts.

Cheers Richard must be us oldies with the time in thingy integration must be a word with a different meaning to what we think times change and so does the english language perchance

No, it still means the same.

quote norse man "I have chosen to live here and I do my best to adapt to the lifestyle and way of living in Thailand, "

Thats what i think me and richard would call integrating

And that's what most of us do. Me included. However, that does not mean that every Thai will respect you or think you're wonderful. If you believe that they all do, yes, you're deluded. The same as you would be deluded to think all of your own countrymen like & respect you.

We all have our own biases, likes, dislikes, priorities whether we project them publically or not. How we perceive people is sometimes down to them & sometimes down to us & our preconceptions. Are you two so arrogant that you believe Thais are not human beings with the same frailties as the rest of us? Are they not allowed to dislike people for no real reason other than their preconceptions? For goodness' sake!

I have friends who have integrated more than many people ever could. They speak Thai, read & write Thai, live with Thais, provide community support for Thais, have lived here for a very long time. They would never come out with the arrogant "They respect me because I've done this, this & this" that I've read on this thread. They accept the Thais as individuals who think differently from one another. And they've also had bad & good experiences with Thais and other nationalities.

[sargeant]

I'm sorry, Edwina, but in my own opinion, that last post of yours comes across as extremely arrogant.

Do you really think that you're the only person that lives here that wants to make a difference? There was a member here, Sarge, that used to go & help the people who were forced to live in tin shacks build their houses. He integrated fully into the community & was very well respected for it. He didn't try to change the Thais (in fact he would probably be arguing with you on this thread), he just tried to make life better for them, within their own world. Many other members do things to help the local community. The difference is they do it, they don't get angry or frustrated - they just do what they think needs to be done to help.

Quote dawn Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:28 am

[migrant]

I live in Southern California (for now) not Thailand, but I've followed, and was interested, in comments here.

In So Cal we are a true melting pot of different cultures, mainly Hispanic (primarily Mexican) and Asian (not sure the primary country, I think Korea).

My first wife was from Korea, I'm currently married to a woman from Thailand.

I hear comments constantly from fellow Americans about the numerous cultures, often expressing disgust, etc.

Many people from the different countries have lived here for many years without speaking english (my ex mother in law 18 years, my current mother-in-law 15 years). Both can not communicate at any english level, yet have held jobs and drivers licenses.

A lot of the 'Americans' accept this, but many do not and speak out about it.

I guess my ramble, and point, is like us in Thailand, some accept, some don't, and some will change their mind.

There is always a segment that will dislike (or hate) anyone different than themselves no matter how much one tries to assimilate, or what good deeds one does.

I, again, do not live in Thailand, but perhaps the Westerner feelings are heightened because, for once, we are on the receiving end of this attitude.

My fingers are tired, I'm stopping!

[Norseman]

quote norseman "That is your choice Sargeant!! "
Not a mental choice i am afraid i am unable due to my health to get out and about the point is that i am not missing anything by having to live secluded.

Hey Sarge, you've lived here for the last ten years and haven't been sick all these years, so I keep up my claim that this is your own choice, I.E. your chosen way of living. (Away from other farangs).
And that's fine, but when you say integrating and working hard to earn respect then I'm way out and have no clue what you are talking about.
Are you (and Richard) saying that you both are struggling and fighting in order to be integrated and gain respect by the common Thai population in Hua Hin or everywhere else in Thailand?
If so; WHY?

[sargeant]

I am afraid you presume too much methinks norseman
let me explain on the 15th of march 2007 whilst playing golf with good gracious me 3 farang friends i had a heart attack and my health has not allowed me to go out much i cannot drink beer and i dont know any bar that serves tea (not that i would want to drink tea in a bar anyway)
Prior to my attack i had a good circle of farang friends one in particular is now in the philipines due to visa hassles and as he was only home from offshore 3 on 3 i only went down town when he was home . I am not on night crawlers and the girl side of downtown doesnt interest me at all and hasnt since i decided Mrs Sarge was all i wanted.8 + years ago
You miss the point i have by circumstances become secluded but i am NOT missing out because i have Thai friends should a falang friend come along i would be happy to talk my own language but i am not crawling up the wall because there isnt one
as for not having a clue read my last post i did not write it by the way it may give you a clue if not read the thread tin shacks
As to why for 10 years it has made life more pleasant believe it or not

[dtaai-maai]

as for not having a clue read my last post i did not write it

Lost me there, sarge...

[Norseman]

The tin shack thing was you're virgin post on HHAD if I remember correct, and I responded to your post.
I'm maybe stupid as a dead bull but I still don't understand why it's a daily fight for survival or how life is made more pleasant by earning and fighting for RESPECT by the Thais.

I have never been thinking :" Is he or she respecting me".

Do you really think like that in England?

A friend is a friend until the opposite has been proven but that's up to each and everyone to find out.
Living in Thailand does not differ from living in Europe when it comes to real friends and friendship!!
You either have a friend or you don't, and that's worth fighting for.
Not the respect or integrating thing!!

[Super Joe]

baa baa

[richard]

Norseman

Think you lost the point

No way anywhere in the world do I strive or struggle for respect

I earn it or not. Couldn't really give a shit, but at at the end of the day I get it from some and not from others

same all over the globe

Civility and dare I say it once more? integration and appreciation of where they ( the locals) are coming from is paramount IMO