Pros usually break the ice with a group of strangers by telling a joke. Sorry, I'm not too good at that, so I'll spare you the pain.
I'm living in exile in a service apartment in BKK until I sort out the location for the next chapter in my life. I've lived here in BKK before; as well as C'rai, C'mai, Pattaya and Ban Krut. Been in Thailand full-time since '96 .. off and on since '89 .. first set foot here in '65.
I've driven to 75 provinces and still haven't found the right Ms. Klikster.
My thoughts are to (re)settle somewhere between Puktien and Thapsakae .. pretty much avoiding greater Hua Hin. I'm not a drinker, so nightlife is not an issue. I speak just enough Thai to get by at the marketplace, eat Thai food 90% of the time.
I can rent or buy (cheap) and ownership is not an issue with me. I can even get a savings bank mortgage if the property qualifies. Security is a big issue, noisy neighborhoods even bigger .. and .. besides all that, I prefer a DSL line, but can live with the TOT broadband satellite.
Sorry to be so long winded .. would appreciate any insights and suggestions.