How do you scare a monkey to death?

[Siani]

I woke up in the middle of the night, like I usually do. I always seem to do my thinking at this peaceful time I have found a solution maybe You can hire or buy "King Kong" fancy dress outfits
Once "Smiley" sees you in it, he will flee, never to return

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[STEVE G]

Or one of these:

[GLCQuantum]

I do feel for you with your monkey problem so have been in touch with some experts. This chap below will be willing to reside outside your home for snacks and candy thrice a day. His uncle, who will accompany him, just needs one large bottle of Lao Khao daily... he said he didn't want any food.

[perdk]

Wish there was a "like" button here. Thanks for all the entertaining and creative ideas... LOL!

[Siani]

I do feel for you with your monkey problem so have been in touch with some experts. This chap below will be willing to reside outside your home for snacks and candy thrice a day. His uncle, who will accompany him, just needs one large bottle of Lao Khao daily... he said he didn't want any food.

Poor kid being labelled a "Devil Child"

Wish there was a "like" button here. Thanks for all the entertaining and creative ideas... LOL!

More smiling monkey photos of the culprit please perdk

[TingTongJohn]

How about Hot spiced bananna treats to scare him off? Sour the water so to speak..Load the fruit with tabasco or an even hotter sauce. Problem with that is what if he likes it. Just an idea.

[perdk]

Hi again,

Guess it is time to give an update on my "monkey situation". After trying many different things, I have found out that only two things work efficiently.

For some reason a stuffed crocodile does work. A small shop near me has one and the owner says it does keep the monkeys at distance. I have looked many places, but have so far not been able to find one to buy anywhere... And since I do not have to time or skills to knit one myself, I had to give up that idea.

However... what I did find at Market Village, was a soft hand gun that shots plastic bullets. My girlfriend was not happy with the idea of buying one (because she felt sorry for the monkeys), but that changed one day when she faced a monkey sitting inside at our kitchen table. She came running into the living room shouting "Shoot it!!!!!... Shoot it!!!!!!".. so I moved into action

At first I was shit scared that the monkey would get pissed off with me, but the gun actually scared the shit out of it. I have since had a few other confrontations but when pulling the gun, the monkeys quickly find another place to hang out. Two warning shots and then a couple of hits if it does not move... Very effective.

The good thing about the soft gun, is that it will not harm the monkeys, but only provide a sting. Besides that it is useful and accurate from a distance. So now I always have the gun lying on the table next to me, when sitting outside. Of course it sometimes results in "strange" looks from visitors (until they are told its not a real gun and what its for :-)

Anyway, if you have monkey problems, then buy a soft gun or knit a big crocodile. It works!

[Siani]

Hi again,

Guess it is time to give an update on my "monkey situation". After trying many different things, I have found out that only two things work efficiently.

For some reason a stuffed crocodile does work. A small shop near me has one and the owner says it does keep the monkeys at distance. I have looked many places, but have so far not been able to find one to buy anywhere... And since I do not have to time or skills to knit one myself, I had to give up that idea.

However... what I did find at Market Village, was a soft hand gun that shots plastic bullets. My girlfriend was not happy with the idea of buying one (because she felt sorry for the monkeys), but that changed one day when she faced a monkey sitting inside at our kitchen table. She came running into the living room shouting "Shoot it!!!!!... Shoot it!!!!!!".. so I moved into action

At first I was shit scared that the monkey would get pissed off with me, but the gun actually scared the shit out of it. I have since had a few other confrontations but when pulling the gun, the monkeys quickly find another place to hang out. Two warning shots and then a couple of hits if it does not move... Very effective.

The good thing about the soft gun, is that it will not harm the monkeys, but only provide a sting. Besides that it is useful and accurate from a distance. So now I always have the gun lying on the table next to me, when sitting outside. Of course it sometimes results in "strange" looks from visitors (until they are told its not a real gun and what its for :-)

Anyway, if you have monkey problems, then buy a soft gun or knit a big crocodile. It works!

I do like this post. I am so glad that you are not hurting the monkeys. I found some crocs on eBay for you

1. You can either dress up as a "Crocodile hunter" The monkey will then sum up that Crocs are in the region
[attachment=2]351069921653_1.jpg[/attachment]
2. You can buy a croc outfit They are very realistic
[attachment=1]mE-Mwnu9t-2-3vP9xio5aew.jpg[/attachment]
3. A blow up Croc That will scare him
[attachment=0]mACid14cmkfyI7bYgF8y-gA.jpg[/attachment]


All to be found on eBay.co.uk

Anymore monkey pics? Keep them coming

[Frank Hovis]

On a hillside overlooking Hua Hin... The arms race has begun.

Damn them, damn them all to hell!


.

[perdk]

LOL! Thanks for the creative ideas. The last picture actually scared me :-)

Btw. I think the green blow up plastic crocodile will not work. The monkeys have bitten holes in all our swim stuff The crocodile outfit will for sure work, but also get me sent to a mental hospital :-)

[TingTongJohn]

Its all well and good till the monkeys take up arms and return to your household in force.

[dtaai-maai]

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[TingTongJohn]

I woke up in the middle of the night, like I usually do. I always seem to do my thinking at this peaceful time I have found a solution maybe You can hire or buy "King Kong" fancy dress outfits
Once "Smiley" sees you in it, he will flee, never to return

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images420SGQIP.jpg

What if this idea goes side ways and the large male gets the hots for Op in the King Kong suit this could go slide into a Broke back banana tree scenario very quickly.

[Siani]

Some excellent suggestions

Now we know monkeys can read and are very intelligent In fact some are more intelligent than humans

So how about warning signs?

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[hhfarang]

Anyway, if you have monkey problems, then buy a soft gun or knit a big crocodile. It works

If both of those solutions work, think how effective they would be if you combined them!

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