How do you scare a monkey to death?

[perdk]

Here is a picture of my "friend" taken this morning. Sure nobody here wants a free monkey?

As you can see he has got balls :-)

[Big Boy]

Not as big as I was expecting, quite average in fact - I thought he would be one bigger bad boys

[perdk]

Believe me, when you go to open the gate and you are only 2 meters away from him (because he does not move), then he suddenly becomes a lot bigger :-)

[Lung Per]

PEPPER SPRAY is your solution. Available from the toy store on 3rd floor of MV. Friends tell me it really works.

Do Toys R Us in Thailand sell pepper spray??? I find it hard to see the toy part in pepper spray, but after all TIT.

You can try. But I am not referring to TAU. There's another smaller store that mainly sells electronic toys. They have a small selection of bebe guns and some war-like paraphernelia. Search and you'll find. Hint, not too far from the cinema.

[perdk]

PEPPER SPRAY is your solution. Available from the toy store on 3rd floor of MV. Friends tell me it really works.

Do Toys R Us in Thailand sell pepper spray??? I find it hard to see the toy part in pepper spray, but after all TIT.

You can try. But I am not referring to TAU. There's another smaller store that mainly sells electronic toys. They have a small selection of bebe guns and some war-like paraphernelia. Search and you'll find. Hint, not too far from the cinema.

Thanks, I have a good idea of where it is. Can not wait to get the chance to spray this guy. Anyway, if you read of a foreigner bitten to death in the newspaper, then please show the above picture to the police. (although I guess they would not be able to solve the case anyway)

[perdk]

Update.
When I then started shouting at him, I got the "smile" from him, which was not the "lets be best friends" kind of smile.

quote]
Well, was it this sort of smile If so, your in for a spot of bother

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Yes, thats the "smile". (although his teeth are more white and sharper). Also get the leaning forward and ready to jump position, if I try too hard to get him to move. But no worries, soon I am going to scare the shit out of him :-)

[Big Boy]

I'm sure this stall at Pae Mai would have something to get rid of him

DSC03181b.JPG (154.41 KiB) Viewed 777 times

[PeteC]

Going back and reading quickly, I don't see we're it's been established as to why he comes by a few times a day. Is there some kind of pet food left out, did the previous resident in the house feed him? I can't see why he would come if nothing there for him to eat. Pete

[Bristolian]

Going back and reading quickly, I don't see we're it's been established as to why he comes by a few times a day. Is there some kind of pet food left out, did the previous resident in the house feed him? I can't see why he would come if nothing there for him to eat. Pete

The monkey being hungry and looking for food is not the worst situation.......he could be looking for a mate

[perdk]

Going back and reading quickly, I don't see we're it's been established as to why he comes by a few times a day. Is there some kind of pet food left out, did the previous resident in the house feed him? I can't see why he would come if nothing there for him to eat. Pete

In the morning our place is filled with monkeys (10-15), who comes down from the mountain to play and look for leftovers from the people staying at the houses here. They often find something to eat, because many houses here are short-time rentals and occupied by young people, who party, get drunk and forget to clean up outside before they go to sleep. When they are done around 7 am, they head back to the mountain and stay there the rest of the day.

My monkey friend normally turns up a bit later with two of his pals (guess he sleeps late). They come not so much for the leftovers, but to get food from the tourist going to the beach in the morning. So they basically just hang around outside my house waiting for someone to say "Ohh, look at those cute monkeys"... and the gang then either steals food or simply is offered food by the people walking by. Believe me, they can look extremely cute, before and when offered food. (no "smiling" at all)

Now the problem is, that the monkeys when offered food, thinks that everyone has food for them. And when someone like me turns up (who does not feed them) then they get upset/frustrated. Besides that, they have developed extremely good skills, when it comes to stealing food. Meaning that if you e.g. walk on in my Soi with an ice cream in your hand, you are in great risk of it being stolen from you.

You can also be sure the 3 monkeys (with my friend as the gang leader) will open your door and visit your fridge, if you are not careful. Sit outside with food in your hand and he will jump out from behind you, take the food and eat it in front of you, while "smiling" at you.

So my monkey friend and his to pals have developed some pretty smart skills, when it comes to getting access to nice snacks. These guys are not starving, but them being offered food away from the mountain, has taught them some bad habits. And they are really clever, smart and fast, when it comes to stealing food.

The other monkeys that visit in the morning are completely different. They just jump around and do never come too close or "smile" at you. They just come to play and find leftovers. When they are done, then will leave and thats it. I actually quite enjoy watching them in the morning.

But when the mafia-monkey turns up with his two friends, then you have to be aware of not leaving the door open or walking around outside with food in your hand. Good thing is that they normally only hang out for a short while and then move closer to town, I guess to steal food from the restaurants, shops and hotels there.

The main problem is people feeding them, when they walk to and from the beach. Thats why they are hanging out outside my house.

[PeteC]

I wonder if a Vet could recommend some kind of drug to put in the monkey's food? Not a poison to kill him, but perhaps something to make him vomit so violently he'll never want to eat anything from the area again? Maybe worth asking.

Or.....put some Viagra in it and perhaps he'll stay on the mountain with the ladies? Pete

[Ralfredo]

Or.....put some Viagra in it and perhaps he'll stay on the mountain with the ladies?

Or perhaps he will try a completely different move...

BTW. I don't think he was that big. But I'm not a few meters from him so I should probably keep my mouth shout.

[Nereus]

I wonder if a Vet could recommend some kind of drug to put in the monkey's food? Not a poison to kill him, but perhaps something to make him vomit so violently he'll never want to eat anything from the area again? Maybe worth asking.

Hmm, hard to find a Thai vet that will neuter an animal, so I doubt this will work.

An old "drug" once used to induce vomiting is: Syrup of ipecac , or sometimes just called "ipecac". I do not know if it is still available, but it was never a restricted drug.

How about some super hot Thai chillies hidden in a bannana, or similar disolved and soaked into a bannana?

I really think he`s in love. You haven`t been lolling around in a provocative manner, have you?

[perdk]

I wonder if a Vet could recommend some kind of drug to put in the monkey's food? Not a poison to kill him, but perhaps something to make him vomit so violently he'll never want to eat anything from the area again? Maybe worth asking.

Or.....put some Viagra in it and perhaps he'll stay on the mountain with the ladies? Pete

Like rat poison? Hmmm...

[dundrillin]

Then you may suffer a curse like the Ancient Mariner! Wandering your patio in remorse for an eternity.