How do you scare a monkey to death?

[dundrillin]

This has been a brilliant thread,can't really work out who is taking the piss out of who! Keep it up though, this is as good as Monty Python at their best

[Lung Per]

I actually doubt the crocodile will work on these monkeys, because I guess they have never seen a real crocodile before. So they will properly just tear it to pieces and leave it to me to clean up their mess :-) But I will give it a try.

The snake however might work better, although I am going to look like an idiot wearing a rubber snake around my neck all the time. But if it works, then thats just what I will have to do.

So now looking for a place in Hua Hin to buy a rubber snake and a plastic crocodile, so I can proceed with my "Scare the big monkey to death"-project. Until now the project plan and tests looks like this:

1) Show the Sling Shot and observe the reaction from the big monkey. If no reaction proceed to point no. 2 test.

2) Shoot the big monkey with the sling shot and run like hell, if I miss and/or it goes completely mad on me. (Which I honestly fear it will.)

3) Buy a plastic snake and throw it at the big monkey. If no reaction, then move to no. 4 test.

4) Throw a big plastic crocodile in the face of the big monkey.

If still no reaction, then I will properly get the water-spraying thing, which I really doubt it will care about. I mean these monkeys actually cliff dive for fun.

If the water-spraying thing also does not work and the monkey has not bitten me to death by then, I guess the only option will be to surrender and conclude that the monkey has won our personal battle and I need to get a real hobby. I however somehow fear our relationship might have gone more worse than better at that point. But we will see...

Anyway will keep you updated as promised. Please let me know if you see a big fake crocodile and/or snake somewhere in Hua Hin that is for sale. Oh, and please let me know if you know where to buy fireworks. Might be good to try that on him to.

PEPPER SPRAY is your solution. Available from the toy store on 3rd floor of MV. Friends tell me it really works.

[Takiap]

The sometimes sell rubber snakes at the Night Market.

If you buy pepper spray, don't let the MIB find out because as far as I know, it's actually illegal. I don't think the MIB really care, but if it means they can help you lighten your wallet........






BTW, I witnessed firsthand the sort of damage a monkey can do if/when it attacks, and they do it with the speed of lightning. Two friends of mine got attacked when we were in the army and both spent quite some time in hospital because of the bites.

[Gregjam]

You could always hire some dubious local characters to 'terminate' your relationship with the monkey in question. Perhaps even pay for some overtime from more legitimate dubious characters as even if they fail the monkey would not identify who funded the assassination attempt. Does Rentokill do Monkey removal?

[clinton114]

just be patient; his final term in office will be up in 2016 (then we'll have a different pest to worry about)

[Ralfredo]

PEPPER SPRAY is your solution. Available from the toy store on 3rd floor of MV. Friends tell me it really works.

Do Toys R Us in Thailand sell pepper spray??? I find it hard to see the toy part in pepper spray, but after all TIT.

[perdk]

Update.

Showing the sling shot does not work on this monkey, like it did on the other monkey. Was completely ignored and had no effect at all. Actually, he just found it interesting, that I wanted to show him something, so he just came closer to me. When I then started shouting at him, I got the "smile" from him, which was not the "lets be best friends" kind of smile.

Next test is pepper spray, since I think all other ideas will not work on this one monkey. I now only think pepper spray and fire works will work. If this guy sees a sling shot and could care less, I doubt very much a rubber snake or fake crocodile will have an effect.

[Ralfredo]

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Let me suggest:

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[Big Boy]

I think all other ideas will not work on this one monkey.

Don't be so sure, the stuffed croc kept some big brutes away from my car at Khao Luang Cave .

[Lung Per]

This has been a brilliant thread,can't really work out who is taking the piss out of who! Keep it up though, this is as good as Monty Python at their best

You mean Monky Python?

[Lung Per]

[quote="Takiap"]
If you buy pepper spray, don't let the MIB find out because as far as I know, it's actually illegal. I don't think the MIB really care, but if it means they can help you lighten your wallet........

Prostitution is also illegal in Thailand

[TingTongJohn]

I think you should try a different path. Take off all your clothes and go live with the monkey. Go bother him at his house. Try it from his point of view. A few things to avoid. Do not try and mate with every single other human you see. Try not to throw your poo in anger. Grunting should only done when your alone as it worries the other humans. Once you can relate maybe all will be o.k. Then again....

[Siani]

[quote="perdk"]Update.
When I then started shouting at him, I got the "smile" from him, which was not the "lets be best friends" kind of smile.

quote]
Well, was it this sort of smile If so, your in for a spot of bother

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[PeteC]

This should do the trick.

Bad human....bad!

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[dtaai-maai]

I suspect there is more to this relationship than meets the eye and that perdk is not being entirely frank with us. In my considerable experience with monkeys and apes, they do not go where they are not wanted, or at least given a little encouragement.

A nod may be as good as a wink to a blind horse, but it turns out that a kiss is as good as the words "I do" to an ape.

Be careful out there...

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