POLL: Who is the Boss in Your House?

[twiggy]

Twiggy
could you enlighten this thick as a plank old man what TS stands for

sorry, I am from Norway, so for us forumusers in norwegian that it the one who started the tread.

[hhfarang]

MrP, my wife was never submissive, and never would tell me not to do anything around the house (man not do). Mine was more like your description of western women when I met her.

She has opinions and voices them and is not worried about "losing face" by standing up to someone in public here that she feels is treating her badly (male or female) or trying to cheat her or me. She supported herself and her family by working in a factory while simultaneously putting herself through college, so maybe you're the one who has found a different type of female.

Mine would never put up with being a slave to a man for her financial well being. She does have expensive tastes, and would spend me into oblivion if I gave in to everything, but would not hesitate to walk away from my wallet if I treated her as an underling as she knows she could make it on her own if she needed to.

I don't think the majority of women here are as you describe, maybe only the ones who are desperate for someone to support and take care of them financially. I also agree that this is a matriarchal society as I've seen my mother-in-law take her 40 something year old son by the ear and let him have it when he screwed up. I've also seen my wife "strongly advise" her older brother and sisters when they were acting badly.

[Big Boy]

I can actually relate to the 'man not do' statement in many ways. General household chores would get me a severe telling off if I even attempted them. This is a culture thing, and Mrs BB wouldn't entertain me or any other man (Farang or Thai - son excluded) doing them. When we were in the UK, female friends and work colleagues would try to convert her, but she would just tell them that they were being stupid - it is lady's job.

Having said the above, I see that as no different to sharing - I would go to the office each day, and she would keep the house clean, cook the food etc. Mrs BB couldn't do my work, and I was not allowed to do hers. However, these were her rules, not mine.

As I said earlier, we share most decisions, but if we're split, it will generally be Mrs BB's 'advice' that we move forward with.

So yes, she technically wears the trousers, but I am far from being dominated.

[J.J.B.]

I have to applaud VS and believe that my own marriage, to a cultural twin, works very well and is based on us each playing to our respective strengths. That said, it is my second marriage and I think that I learned a great deal in my first marriage about what I wanted and what I did not, as well as what I would or wouldn't compromise on. More importantly I learned about who I am and acknowledge that I can be pretty difficult when I want to be.

The OP has a point when he talks about changes in the west to balance the 'gender inequality gap'. Although mainly promoted in corporate institutions, there are various programs aimed at helping women get on in their careers or special events focused on 'diversity and inclusion' that I find offensive. They are offensive because they label women as somehow handicapped and they are also blatantly discriminatory against men who have done nothing wrong.

It's all about 'sins of the father' etc. I have been in the working world for around 20 years, I have always treated women as equals and have been employed and managed by women as well as having women as direct reports myself. Perhaps way back when, women didn't have equal rights or felt that there was a 'glass ceiling' above which they couldn't climb but that's gone by the wayside years and years ago. I believe that women are just as good as, if not better than, men by being women, not by trying to be more like men.

Just this week I got a request from my human remains department to allow one of my (female) team members to attend a special course designed to empower female career development. Next week I'm attending a conference in Amsterdam and have a three-line whip to attend the Executive Women In (my company) breakfast meeting, which will be two hours of 'how tough women have it' etc.

I'd be surprised after all this if I have enough strength to go home and beat the wife!

[sand_dancer]

@ JJB

Just this week I got a request from my human remains department to allow one of my (female) team members to attend a special course designed to empower female career development.

How is the undertaking business these days

[sargeant]

I do apologize Buksi but i missed this

"who makes the gold makes the rules".

I agree if gold means bread

I make the bread in our house
butter 18gm
water and milk 350 ml
2 teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoons yeast
1 tablespoon milk powder
1 teaspoon salt

in machine press the buttons and lie on settee watching golf for 3 hours 15 mins until buzzer sounds
being a gentleman i get my butt of settee and remove loaf as i dont want er indoors to burn her fingers

Tip use oven glove DO NOT USE marigolds they melt

[Dannie Boy]

I do apologize Buksi but i missed this

"who makes the gold makes the rules".

I agree if gold means bread

I make the bread in our house
butter 18gm
water and milk 350 ml
2 teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoons yeast
1 tablespoon milk powder
1 teaspoon salt

in machine press the buttons and lie on settee watching golf for 3 hours 15 mins until buzzer sounds
being a gentleman i get my butt of settee and remove loaf as i dont want er indoors to burn her fingers

Tip use oven glove DO NOT USE marigolds they melt

I think you'll find that the bread will taste better if you add flour as well Sarge - I would guess about 500gms?

[kendo]

Mr Plum
Let me quote you

I tried and she wanted nothing to do with it, even when I explained her own daughter might be at risk.


I am not so sure you're the boss in your house

Kendo.

[MrPlum]

Mr Plum
Let me quote you

I tried and she wanted nothing to do with it, even when I explained her own daughter might be at risk.


I am not so sure you're the boss in your house

A good 'short-haired general' knows which battles to fight. Nice to see you have a sense of humour.

[sargeant]

sorry 500 gm flour

still growing my fingerprints back when i peeled off the melted marigolds

Lucky for me sweetcheeks is up in bangers doing a uni seminar for 5 days left here 3 oclock this morning

I am suffering the loneliness quite well mother in law has only mopped and swept the house 4 times today
sister in law is cooking and i have been salivating for the last hour

its a total bummer being a downtrodden subservient wimp i am knackered i have had to lift my feet and lie on the settee 8 times already

[kendo]

Would you like me to pass you the Fairy Liquid Mr Plum you've got time to do the dishes before this turns into a conspiracy theory.

Kendo.

[richard]

What has this thread got to to with conspiracy theories?

Some of us believe in conspiracies and some do not want to believe in conspiracies. IMO and experience they do exist but I can't for the life of me think what it has to do with Who is the boss in your house?

[Dannie Boy]

What has this thread got to to with conspiracy theories?

Some of us believe in conspiracies and some do not want to believe in conspiracies. IMO and experience they do exist but I can't for the life of me think what it has to do with Who is the boss in your house?

Relax Richard, we all know that Kendo was only joking, I mean as if Mr P would try to turn a thread about who wears the tights, sorry trousers, into a CT?

[MrPlum]

Would you like me to pass you the Fairy Liquid Mr Plum you've got time to do the dishes before this turns into a conspiracy theory.

So the calculated subversion of the institution of marriage through 'divide and rule', in the west, isn't a theory? I'm gratified.

[kendo]

Richard ok mate as you know me and Palini here's my take on who's the boss.

For us we are the same age if you take a girl out of Thailand she will change and become a lot more westernised Palini has been in the UK for almost 8 years. She as you have already posted used to say "up to you" and still does occasionally but I have always tried to encourage and empower here to be my equal.
I don't want a trophy wife that just says yes to anything and doesn't make dicisions, we share these and often disagree and end up having to compromise.
My wife does about 70% of the house hold chores, I like to do a bit around the house I don't want to be waited on hand and foot. when I am not working my long hours I also look after my little girl a lot to give her a break or so she can go out to work.

I would say we have a good balance and trust me my wife can bend my ear as good as any western monster as Mr P puts it.
We trust each other and try and support each other, the only time I have ever really put my foot down is when my wife was getting encouraged into gambling with a group of Thai girls and lost £60.00 in an afternoon.
We give each other equal freedom and trust I would say the balance we have makes for an easy life.

Now in Thailand with age differences sometimes decades, and east meets west I think that this is very much a case of who's the provider will be the boss.

Kendo.