have you been in Thailand to long

[lindosfan1]

You know you've been in Thailand too long when:

You think itʼs normal to have a beer at 9:00 a.m.

You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs.

You look four ways before crossing a one way street.

You realize that ALL your problems are caused by Thai girls or cranky ATMs.

You put salt and chilli on your fruit

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet.

You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car.

All your tee-shirts are emblazoned with the name of some bar.

You canʼt remember the last time you wore a suit and tie.

You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire.

Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love and you understand the analogy.

You arenʼt upset when the bar girl next to you eats beetles as a snack.

Later the same night, you actually kiss the bar girl who earlier dined on the beetles.

You havenʼt had a solid stool for five years.

You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.

You think white wine goes well with Som Tam.

You understand when your Thai wife says, ʽMy friend youʼ or ʽSame, same, but different.ʼ

A Thai bar girl youʼve just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away.

You realize that your Thai wifeʼs loyalties belong to
1. Her parents.
2. Her brats from a previous marriage to a Thai scoundrel who deserted her.
3. Any remaining blood relatives.
4. The family buffalo.
5. The familyʼs goldfish.
6. You.

The Thai Navy buys a new submarine and youʼre not surprised when the first thing they do is remove the mufflers and hang a garland from the rear view mirror.

You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory.

You start wearing slippers everywhere

You start driving cars barefeet

You no longer enjoy Songkran. Instead, you stay home with a stack of videotapes.

You become an expert on buying and selling gold jewellery
Dogs become animals you'd rather kick than pet.

When driving a car you'll start using every free inch of the road.

You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection.

Itʼs two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside.

You realize that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter ʽSʼ. Sanuk (Fun), Saduak (convenient), Sabai (comfortable), Suay pretty).

You believe that buying a gold chain is an acceptable courtship ritual, or at least a form of foreplay.

You think a calendar more useful than a watch.

You go to a Thai Boxing match and a soccer game breaks out.

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus.

[Rider]

Been in Thailand for 8 years on and off and only a tiny fraction of that lengthy list rings true

[usual suspect]

Lindo,how long did it take for you to cobble that lot together?
Does it come in condensed format so I can make it into a poster?
Maybe needs sub-sections specially about subjects mentioned...
...driving,Bar-girl values,the power of gold,hysterical girls in Thai soaps on TV,etc etc.

Great list,..Oo,its 9.05,time to sit at the corner shop for the
'Breakfast beer'.

[JD]

The day before Children's Day I collected the boy from school. The Teacher gave me instructions in English of the preferred choice of clothing for the next day.

She said, 'If no have red colour wear white colour, if no have white colour wear red colour, if no have, wear red for top and white for bottom or white for top and red for bottom, gudai.'

It kept me smiling all the way home. Don't you just love the way some Thais explain things.

[PeteC]

The day before Children's Day I collected the boy from school. The Teacher gave me instructions in English of the preferred choice of clothing for the next day.

She said, 'If no have red colour wear white colour, if no have white colour wear red colour, if no have, wear red for top and white for bottom or white for top and red for bottom, gudai.'

It kept me smiling all the way home. Don't you just love the way some Thais explain things.

Sounds like the teacher is trying to turn the kids into red shirts, JD. Better be on your guard. Pete

[HansMartin]

How much further to you brother's house?

"Not too close, not too far" WTF kind of an answer was that !

The worst part is that I sometimetimes give that kind of an answer here in the States.

[buksida]

You forgot one very important one which is quite appropriate now.

You find yourself rucked up under three layers of clothing including a mountain fleece when the temperature drops below 20 degrees. Getting out of bed from under that double duvet becomes painful, you're trying to find the Lemsip in the pharmacy and you unleash a foul torrent of expletives at anyone who even thinks about turning the a/c on.

[Spitfire]

How about,

When you find yourself agreeing that the mother-in-law's pet dog is cold in January and that you'll buy a little coat for him next time you're at Tesco.

[sargeant]

In answer to the strict definition of the topic title


My answer NOT YET

[lindosfan1]

another from me
You automatically think danger when you see a Thai woman on a motorbike

[MrPlum]

Great topic.

The list came from here...

[ Link removed, no links to competing forums please ]

Well worth resurrecting though.

Couple more I found with a search...

You see an insect crawl out of your salad and you continue eating it (the salad).
You consider the lizard in your apartment to be your roommate.
You enjoy squid eggs more than regular squid.
You consider crazy bus and truck drivers that endanger your life to be part of the experience.
You like to drink out of a bag.
You finally succeed in getting the elastic band off the plastic bags they put food in.
When you start saying 'helloooo' every 5 seconds and in the middle of a sentence, when answering your mobile.
You shoot out of side roads, without looking to see if any traffic is coming.
You start to time how quickly your Thai g/f shimmies up a tree, rather than being surprised by it.

No.1 in my book...

When you've got no money left!

[sargeant]

When you see a motosigh with 3 adults 2 kids a baby a dog and a cat and the rider is on the phone

You just shake you head log a new record and thank god the rider was NOT text messaging

What you dont do is also important

You dont consider getting a the forum cos we all have seen it before

[sandman67]

when you call your mum and dad / mates / work and find yourself speaking Tinglish

when you see a cobra in the garden and instead of running inside reach wearily for the broom

when you can hold three conversations (one in English, one in Tinglish, and a third in pidgin Thai) whilst eating som tam, calling your mum on the mobile and watching a soap opera at full volume

when you stop wondering what all those random BOOM noises are....

when you accept Tsunamis, Earthquakes, contracting odd diseases and being shot by lunatic drunk police officers as a part of normal life

when you find yourself not accepting any single bit of advice, and instead seek at least three separate opinions, particularly when official opinions are sought....

and the real test:

when Thai politics starts making any sense whatsoever.....

[Babylon]

The ultimate test is can you stand on the trolly escalalator in Market village from the car park up to Tesco without walking, when no one is blocking your path?

[redzonerocker]

i suppose a counter argument would be,
you've been away from thailand to long when you miss all the above day to day events