Paying a bar for a girl to leave

[MrPlum]

If it was expressly agreed that if a customer took her away from the bar permanently, she would have to pay the bar owner a 'transfer fee'; and the reason she left was because you started sending her money, then the owner is probably within his rights to seek the cash.

I've not heard of this before. Sounds sensible to talk to the bar owner and find out what he/she has to say. Or just let the other 5 men giving her 10k a month take care of it.

Just kidding..

[Dr Michael]

I know you have a lot on your mind--but when you have a moment tell us about her sick grandmotherwho needs a life-saving operation.

[Lee1975]

The thing is, Nothing was mentioned to me when she left. One day she called me and said she had walked away and is going back to her old job. Now she did not say about paying the bar for her to leave.... until now.
Unless as you say MrPlum that there was some sort of agreement with the owner when she started working there and now she has reappeared in HH (just only to see me may I add ) then maybe the owner is within his rights.

Dr Michael, just to let you know, she has not mentioned once about her Parents/Grandparents/sick buffalos etc etc needing money. Her parents have money. They only asked me if I would take care of her and if I was serious about her, I told them yes and that is what I am willing to do..... only if she has MY best interests at heart with this situation with the bar.

Don't tar every Thai bar girl with the same brush. Although i am not stupid, i will be taking this very slowly and cautiously

[aragon]

"Her parents have money" and she was a bar girl.................please don't get me wrong, but that sounds like a bit of an oxymoron!!

[STEVE G]

Unless as you say MrPlum that there was some sort of agreement with the owner when she started working there and now she has reappeared in HH (just only to see me may I add )

Is it also possible that the people in that bar are the only friends she has in Hua Hin and for that reason she doesn't simply want to avoid the place?

[Lee1975]

Steve, yes most possibly mate.

[Lee1975]

"Her parents have money" and she was a bar girl.................please don't get me wrong, but that sounds like a bit of an oxymoron!!

As I said earlier, her friend talked her into it, she didn't like it, even though the money was good, she got out within 6 months and is happy working for a shitty wage.

[Lung Per]

^

Does it matter?

Surely it's the principle of the whole thing...

Others may have a different opinion. Principles often get in the way for happiness.

[kendo]

Why don't you send a friend around to the bar to try and bar fine her, friend leaves bar with said girl go's to his room and you are already there inside busted.

I would really exercise caution here if you do speak to her boss just tell him or her "that your not Santa F*cking Claus" she will understand this as its quite a common phrase in Thailand.

Kendo.

[Jose]

which bar is it ?.

[PET]

Don't tar every Thai bar girl with the same brush. Although i am not stupid, i will be taking this very slowly and cautiously

That being the case I hope you will let us know what happens after you arrive today(?)

[Lung Per]

If you really like the girl you may wish to disregard all the warnings and give it a try. If it's only a question of a little "monopoly money" and you can afford it, give it a try. Follow your heart.
This being said and done, there are numerous examples of scams leaving farangs with broken hearts and empty wallets. A few of the bar girls, deep down in their heart, wish to find a farang who can support them (and their families) and they just may make good wives. However, it's a lottery; bargirls are in it for the money only and have they been in the trade for a longer time they will probably be "bar-spoiled" and stay in it. Also remember that lying through your nose is a common practice here. As the saying goes: "You can take the girl out of the bar but you cannot take the bar out of the girl".
Anyways, per the above; do you feel for it and can you take a loss, why not give it a try!.
Just remember an old German saying: "Vertrauen ist gut aber Kontrolle ist besser". In English it means
"Trust is good but control is better". Do cover your bases.
Good luck!

[Lee1975]

Why don't you send a friend around to the bar to try and bar fine her, friend leaves bar with said girl go's to his room and you are already there inside busted.

I would really exercise caution here if you do speak to her boss just tell him or her "that your not Santa F*cking Claus" she will understand this as its quite a common phrase in Thailand.

Kendo.

Kendo, you are adamant that she is back working bar?
I have a friend already staying opposite to her bar, she told me she said hello to him yesterday as she knows him through me, she also knows who many of my friends are in HH. I dont think she is stupid enough to work bar/let alone the same bar when she knows I have friends that go there regularly throughout the year.

Caution is very much high on my agenda mate.

It seems that this topic of conversation has gone from what I should do regarding the "her leaving" bar fine to she's back "working bar" again. Oh well, I suppose many people have been burnt by this and I understand that a lot of these girls are very sneaky in what they do and don't do when the so called "Boyfriend" is thousands of miles away.

Pet, I arrive late tomorrow, i am heading to Airport soon. I keep you updated

Lung per, yes I am willing to give this a go, even if I do lose a little money over this girl, but only money that I give to her, I am willing to take the risk. If she had worked bar for many years then I probably wouldn't touch this girl with a barge pole. I think she got out in quick time not to be turned into a hard faced bar girl. She seems genuine but as you say, caution is needed with certain Thai girls.

[SunandFun]

Enough talk! Why not post her picture and let us go ahead and vote. Let us decide on the future of your relationship. Be careful of the advise you seek. And be careful of the questions you ask.

Most importantly, be careful if you decide to confront the Bar Owner. Be civil, courteous and respectful. You have little to gain and lots to lose. Don't want your holiday to end early.

[STEVE G]

You would hope that the owner of the bar is going to realize that in the long term they are going to be a lot better off with a happy regular customer than trying to get 6000 bt off someone who can clearly just walk away from the situation.