England - The best in the world already!

[Big Boy]

Guess,

I guess that people who have am irrational dislike of the French born out of jealously it might be.

My comments on the French had very little to do with football. If you talk to anybody who knows me, they will tell you I hate anything, or anybody with any connection to that country.

Maybe I have a Beckhamesk like disorder, but just the mention of that nation gets my blood boiling.

Generally, I am very mild natured, but on the 2 occassions I took my son to Euro Disney, I ended hitting some inocent (apart from the fact they didn't think they had to queue with everybody else for the attractions) French blokes. I just can't help myself.

[Guess]

Be careful that you are not overheard ny a Frenchman. They have a habit of farting in your general direction when insulted.

Anyway I totally agree with your signature except there are five games left to play before the FIFA World Cup, designed by Silvio Gazzaniga and produced by Bertoni of Milano, is going home.

The five matches left will be something like

Italy 2 Czech 1
Italy 2 Australia 0
Italy 3 Ukraine 1
Italy 2 Argentina 1
Italy 2 Brasil 0

A little known fact is that the wife of the England captain is an avid fan of Italy and wears only Italian clothes.

Her husband David insists her underwear is layed out symmetrically in a glass doored show case with the Italiian labels on full show.

When she ordered her husband to leave the grotty village of Manchester and go and play somewhere more exquisite he instructed his agent to put him on offer to the top three Italian clubs. I.e Juventus, AC Milan and Inter Milan. Of course the favourite for Victoria would have been one of the Milan clubs so that she would not have far to travel to visit her fashion designers.

The Italian clubs did consider hosting the Beckhams but all three rejected the offer when it was discovered that they were from the down market rural community of Essex and would need months, if not years of cultural education before they would fit in with the locals.

It was then that Beckaham had to look elsewhere and ended up at Madrid.

It is a welll known fact in footballing circles that David wears a pair of Victoria's Blue thongs with the Gucci G sign on the front (the patch) and an Italian flag on the back over the top of his his Jock Strap.

[Big Boy]

Guess,

Nice dream, but what happens when you wake up?

I suppose we could all dream of such an easy run in to the final, but personally, I'll be happier if England get to meet a couple of half decent teams en-route.

I see that Italy have had a fairly easy draw this time, with the earliest they could meet England being the semi-final, but the more likely contest would be the final - if they're good enough.

Regarding the English captain, you'll have to do better than insult him - he's been riding such criticsm all of his life, but he's still the best passer of a ball in the competition.

[Big Boy]

Guess,

Fortunately for the game of football, a players ability may be judged by the uninformed on his bedroom furniture, or the clothes he wears. I can assure you, he could pass a football as brilliantly with either his own or his wife's underwear on - and it wouldn't matter what style of wardrobe or chest of drawers they had been placed in previously.

You seem to know an awful lot about the England football captain's bedroom habits, movements of his wife and the underwear he wears - is there something underlying about you that you would like to get off your chest? Don't be afraid to share it - we're all friends on this board.

Getting back to my favourite subject - the French

They have a habit of farting in your general direction when insulted.

All I can say is bring it on - if there was a Farting World Cup, I'd probably be the English captain, and I can assure you, I would not lose. However, I might have to be a bit more selective about the style and colour of the underwear that I wore.

[Guess]

Big Boy

I have nothing to hide. It is a well known fact in Hua Hin (that I have never denied) that I always wear a 38 DD lady's brasier when playing pool. It has improved my game substantially.

It is a scietifically proven fact that clothing has an enormous effect on performance. After the English with their baggy pants won the world cup in 1966 they did absolutely nothing on the world stage for two decades. This has now been proven to have been caused by the players being forced to wear fashionable tight shorts over re-inforced lunch box covers. When this practice was stopped England started to play football again and even managed to overcome giants such as Argentina and eventually Germany.

I am now expermenting with pair of double gussetted industrial strength granny knickers to assist with the awkward corner to corner shots that have up to now been a weakness of mine.

As for your signature. It has now become more accurate. Just four matches to go and the road to Rome will be littered with the corpses of the many hopefuls.

Anyway good luck to the Ozzies tonight.

[Big Boy]

Guess,

Time to back off I think - after today's news about the Italians. If half the team will be returning home to find their team relegated from Serie A (AC Milan, Lazio, Fiorentina and Juventas - all been match fixing), they deserve some compensation at this competition. However, if they cheat at domestic level, one has to ask how much they paid to win their group?http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/footbal ... 993482.stm

[Jaime]

I see that Italy have had a fairly easy draw this time

An ideal opportunity for me to resurrect this thread:

http://www.huahinafterdark.com/forum/vi ... php?t=3678

[Guess]

Greece, Portugal, France, England and Germany have all had similar allegations made over the past few decades. All of the allegations, with minor exceptions, were unproven and all of them at club level.

This scandal should have no effect on the national game that we are now discussing.

I think you will find that the players in those teams (if you read the article carefully) are not being accused and many of them are not Italian anyway.

I think this news is detractive with the sole purpose of getting people off the real important issues surrounding the beautiful game.

Jockey's early posting is just the tip of the iceberg. I believe more revelations and many "Tabloid Exclusives" will be published after the Cup has finished

[Guess]

To Perente an all the other antipodeans who visit this site:

WELL DONE


I hope you now realise that a game of football can be played with a spherical ball rather than an object resembling a kangaroo turd.

[caller]

D'you know something? I have visited Oz on many occassions (favourite place being the Darwin locale) and have seen many Roos - the ability they have to avoid being hit by golf balls on a driving range is a distraction, I start aiming at them, rather than the intended target - but most I have seen have been splattered beyond recognition lying at the side of roads.

But never have I considered or made enquiries about the shape or size of their turds?

Am I now being informed that the reason for the odd shaped ball in Aussie rules is because somone once picked up a dead Roo's turd and started running with it?

What a dickhead!

Has this had some impact on aussie mythology and psyche and the real reason they have only emerged as a nation in the wider worlds perception with the ability to ignore John Pilger, exile Germaine Greer to the UK and with the success of the socceroos (what a twat name) who have made it to the next round at the World Cup?

I think we should be told!

[Big Boy]

Guess wrote:

This scandal should have no effect on the national game that we are now discussing

I know its a British trait to do themselves down, but can you imagine the reaction in the British press if an English club were involved especially during an International Tournament?

Assuming it is true, any team with players from Serie A (in particular playing for the named 4 teams) should be suspended from this tournament with immediate effect. The only way a team can be corrupt is for the players within that team being corrupt. This incident totally de-values the premier footballing competition in the world, if they allow these cheats to continue playing. At the very least the players involved should be withdrawn.

Is there any point continuing with this competition? Italy can continue to buy victory, but at the end of the day, when proven, the competition will have been a farce.

the FIFA World Cup, designed by Silvio Gazzaniga and produced by Bertoni of Milano

If they want it that badly, could they not make another one and pretend?

[Guess]

Assuming it is true, any team with players from Serie A (in particular playing for the named 4 teams) should be suspended from this tournament with immediate effect. The only way a team can be corrupt is for the players within that team being corrupt. This incident totally de-values the premier footballing competition in the world, if they allow these cheats to continue playing. At the very least the players involved should be withdrawn.

Is there any point continuing with this competition? Italy can continue to buy victory, but at the end of the day, when proven, the competition will have been a farce.

the FIFA World Cup, designed by Silvio Gazzaniga and produced by Bertoni of Milano

If they want it that badly, could they not make another one and pretend?

You would not have at any time in the past used the names captainsensible and getreal by any chance would you.

The only way a team can be corrupt is for the players within that team being corrupt.

Well not according to the English media giants BBC. It is stated that

Twenty-six unnamed people - but no players - are also set to stand trial.

In some of the other nation's corruption scandals, players have been accused (Bruce Grobelaar for one who spent most of his career at an English club). The current accusations are not pointed at players but at the club management and the referees and linesmen. You can only be accused of bribing a player to lose a game. Bribing him to win is acceptable and common practice and in many cases written into their contracts. This is born out by the fact that two of the accused teams were first and second in Serie A.

If the preposterous suggestion that you put forward that all players for the four teams (and it may become six if my sources are correct) have their national teams banned from the World Cup without a court hearing, I think you will find that at least ten teams would be dropped from the remaining 19 contenders for the last sixteen. England would of course be one of the teams that survive and without thorough checking Australia and Germany would join them with perhaps one or two others to make a remainder of six to seven teams at most.

Of course though if that action was taken FIFA would have to ban all the nations that had players playing for German clubs who were involved in the German referee match fixing scandal of a few years ago. Based on the fact that Owen Hargreaves plays for Bayern Munich and England.

Looking at Italy's performance yesterday can you really accuse a team of cheating when two of their players are allowed to moved forward unchallenged with just the goalkeeper to beat (albeit probably the second best in the world).

As for the trophy itself. The Brazilians were given the old Jules Rimet Cup for keeps in 1970 as they had won it for the third time. Many nations were requested to design a new one. The most famous English designer was a gentleman called Thomas Crapper (then deceased). They dug out some of his designes and came up with a trophy that resembled a toliet with hadles on the sides. It was a close call but the Italian design was chosen by a narrow majority. Another English idea at the time was to create a figurine of Pickles the dog until it was pointed out that Korea were expected to compete in most future World Cup Competitiions.

[Big Boy]

You would not have at any time in the past used the names captainsensible and getreal by any chance would you.

No - don't really understand the question. Could you explain please?

but no players - are also set to stand trial.

I sincerely hope you are right. The words cheat and sport do not go together. However, I maintain that if it does involve any players, they should barred from taking part in any tournament (placed on gardening leave?) until their name has been cleared.

The UK news is talking in terms of relegation from Serie A when found guilty. That will have one heck of an impact on Italian football, and player's wages. The named 4 (or 6) will struggle to retain their players on the same wages when relegated - what a mess!! This will surely have an impact on morale of the affected players until their futures have been assured.

Maybe the chance of a few basement bargain players in the offing.

it was pointed out that Korea were expected to compete in most future World Cup Competitiions

Why just Korea, Thailand also compete in the earlier stages?

[Perente]

Guess wrote

To Perente an all the other antipodeans who visit this site:

WELL DONE

Thank you for your kind and gracious words. We deserve them

Guess wrote

I hope you now realise that a game of football can be played with a spherical ball rather than an object resembling a kangaroo turd.

Kangaroo turds are in fact slightly elongated spherical pellets - somewhat mid-range between a "soccer" and (what we call) a "foot" ball. I would have expected better from a man of your intellect and knowledge, none-the-less I eagerly await your next posting after we cruise to victory over Italy.

[Big Boy]

I eagerly await your next posting after we cruise to victory over Italy.

So how much is that going to cost the Aussie FA?