Has handing a few hundred baht (or significantly more) ever got you out of a tight spot that, in the Western world, could have been more serious. That extra pint or two driving? Visa stuff? Want something done for you? Other.
I know a couple on here that paid a little drink drive fine, don't be shy .
I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
Twice. Once on a Friday night after work. Stupidly on the bike whizzing down town after drinks at 'The Boat'. Missed a red light, police waiting on the corner.
"You drink?"
Me: "Just one beer". (I was waaay over the limit, idiot)
"What beer"
"Chang, khrapom".
"Oooh, Leo better na".
And on my way he let me.
I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
Not me, but my girlfriend. I was too drunk to drive, so I asked her to drive, because I thought she was less-drunk (she wasn't). Got stopped at a checkpoint and her PBT sample was highhhhhh. Cops sent my drunk ass off on my motorbike to a nearby ATM for a bribe while she remained at the scene. I returned with bribe and we were on our drunken way.
Conversely, I set off from home on my motorbike in my jogging clothes to a nearby reservoir, where I did my nightly run. I accidentally put my Thai car drivers license in my shorts, rather than my bike license. Got stopped at a checkpoint down the street. Cop wouldn’t budge when I explained I had both licenses and I just pocketed the wrong one to go for a jog. He asked for a bribe. I refused. He wrote me a 500 baht ticket. I showed it to my girlfriend when I got home. She just laughed, balled the ticket up, and threw it in the trash. That was over four years ago, so I guess there were no repercussions.
Had a couple of large daytime beers once (I do try not to make a habit these days), and at a police roadblock on the way home the BIB asked me 'did you drink whisky?' I answered straight away 'definitely not', and was waived through. Another time years ago I used the 'just two small beers' line, and was let through paying 200 Baht (he started at 800, but I guess they're more ambitious these days).
Not sure it "helped me out", more of a case of helping them out but I got hit in Hua Hin for having an aftermarket pipe on a big bike (Kawasaki 650) for which they wanted 1,000 baht. The irony is that you can ride around with no helmet, license, or insurance and the fines are much less and they conveniently ignore the teenagers on Honda Waves that sound like banshees.
Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? - Hunter S Thompson
They've never helped me out, but I've been stopped by the Jackanory police several times. Not in Hua Hin I hasten to add. The closest I've been stopped was Cha-Am, there were a few times in Bangkok, and the rest were in the North East. These guys are brilliant - they tell such a convincing story as they explain your crime. You know they are talking bollox, but even though you know you didn't do it, they are so convincing you start doubting yourself. On each occasion, except one it has cost me tea money, not exceeding 500฿.
The biggest load of bollox I paid for was one Sunday morning driving to Pattaya. I was in no hurry, and stuck religiously to the speed limit (I rarely knowingly break the speed limit anyway). I pulled up at the toll booth in Bangkok. The toll booth operator told me to wait a minute, and she fetched a BIB who was sleeping behind the booth. The BIB walked around my car, writing urgently on his clip board (basically writing details about my car on to his board). Then he came to my window, showed me his clipboard, and told me he'd received a report about me being tracked by his colleagues and I'd driven to Bangkok on the hard shoulder. He had to confiscate my licence. I had to report back to his police station in a days, and I'd have to pay a fine when I collected it. Thankfully, despite it being bollox, and we'd all seen him write the details of my car on his clip board, I had a car full of Thais, and they really went for him. Result, I was 500฿ lighter, but I'd got my licence back and didn't have to report to his police station in a few days.
The time I got away without paying was on a trip to Isaan. I'd already been stopped 4 times and fleeced of tea money - OK, it was only a few Baht each time. What was worse was each time I was getting a bollocking from Mrs BB for driving too fast. Each time I explained I was driving correctly. Eventually I explained that my satnav sounded an alarm if I drove too fast, and I demonstrated the alarm to her (just a few seconds each time). At last, she believed me now. Sure enough, a few miles on I'm stopped for speeding again. Well this time she laid right into the BIB, chewed him up and spat him out. I was told to carry on, but slow down - I didn't pay - well done Mrs BB. Just a shame she believed the BIB initially, and not me.
What I will add is that I haven't been scammed now for about 8 years, so I'm either getting lucky, or the scam brigade are getting lax. I'm often stopped, but always waved on these days. I think me making a huge gesture of turning my dash cam onto them before they speak might be helping.
Talking of dashcams. Some years ago I was pulled over at a toll booth. I was told that I switched lanes from on toll booth to another. "I'm pretty sure I didn't but lets review it on my dashcam." Quickly changed his mind and waved me on.
A year or so I was stopped on the road from 94 to 102. Told I'd been drinking and had to wait for another cop to arrive with the breathalyzer. I'd been at a friends house nearby (yes I'd had a couple of drinks). Because it was just 2 cops and a pickup, I assumed it was an illegal stop. I phoned my friend to tell him what was happening. One cop came to me "Who are you calling?" "You said I had to wait for someone from the station so I'm speaking to someone there."
With that he walked over to his mate and they both got in the pickup and drove off. So it was illegal.
A couple of times I've been stopped because I'd forgot to put my belt on. After saying sorry they asked if I'd like to buy them coffee!! A couple of hundred always does the trick.
All in all, I prefer the 'procedure' here rather than in the UK.
A lot of it depends on time of day, what they are looking for, what you are driving and where you're coming from. If I'm going drinking outside, I don't drive. If I'm driving,I won't drink. The car dashboard has a little red blinking light to remind you to buckle up. If you get stopped in the city limits, they're probably looking for expired car registration, expired licences and possibly illicit substances. Or weapons. Drunk driving is pretty far down the list, but if it is blatantly obvious you will get flagged down. Back in the day, if you were drunk, they'd just prop you back up on your motorsai, and send you on your way. Today, they have to be more aware and actually stop you as there is typically video surveillance at the stop.
On the highway, it's more looking for illicit substances and weapons. And stolen vehicles. Speeding isn't really a thing as most of the regular road users slow down before the camera and speed up after it. They are obviously aware, but will stop you for speeding because a) you have exceeded a limit, and b) you may have something on board that you are in a hurry to get to your destination and have thrown caution to the winds. Your typical vehicle may be stopped because of tipoffs, otherwise the more powerful modified pickups and your typical rental car are those most often stopped. If you dress nicely and roll down the driver's side window as you approach the checkpoint you usually get waved through.
I do also have an up-to-date radar detector and a dual dashcam just in case.
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