A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' - a term frequently used by woodpeckers. The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do
it and accepted the challenge.
The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.
Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country? After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:
Apparently, Tiger Woods was right when he said, ‘Your pecker gets harder when you're away from home!’
Best of British
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(buffalo) Bill
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(buffalo) Bill
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For all my left wing Dem friends to ponder (if I have any left )
It's a slow day in little old London town. The sun is beating down, and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich tourist from back east is driving through town. He stops at the Hotel and lays a £100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
As soon as the man walks upstairs, the owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the £100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the £100 and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the £100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the £100 back on the counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, picks up the £100 bill, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how this Government is conducting business today.
It's a slow day in little old London town. The sun is beating down, and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich tourist from back east is driving through town. He stops at the Hotel and lays a £100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
As soon as the man walks upstairs, the owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the £100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the £100 and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the £100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the £100 back on the counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, picks up the £100 bill, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how this Government is conducting business today.
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(buffalo) Bill
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The Pope and Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd at the Manchester United vs Manchester City game at Old Trafford.
The Pope leaned towards Mr. Brown and said, "Do you know that with one little movement of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will NOT be a momentary display, like those believers in a football match, but will go deep into their hearts and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice! "
Brown replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"
So the Pope backhanded the bastard!.....
The Pope leaned towards Mr. Brown and said, "Do you know that with one little movement of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will NOT be a momentary display, like those believers in a football match, but will go deep into their hearts and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice! "
Brown replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"
So the Pope backhanded the bastard!.....
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(buffalo) Bill
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The Chinese government has shown the world how to deal with drug pushers by ignoring liberal bleating and executing convicted drug-smuggler Akmal Shaikh ‹ a punishment which should be mandatory everywhere for that crime.
Mr Shaikh, who the media quite falsely claim to be a ³British² man, was born in Pakistan in 1956. He moved to Britain in the 1960s and when he married a Hindu Indian, he insisted she convert to Islam before the marriage could take place.
Mr Shaikh and his family then lived in America during the 1980s (astonishing how Pakistani nationals appear to be able to glibly move between First World countries with no apparent immigration problems) but moved back to Britain when his estate agency went into bankruptcy.
He then started a minicab business in London but this also went insolvent. Mr Shaikh was accused of sexual harassment by a former employee at the company, although it is unknown if this contributed to the insolvency.
He then divorced and moved to Poland, where he was resident before travelling to China from where he was allegedly going on to perform at a nightclub in the neighbouring former Soviet republic of Kyrgyzstan. He was however arrested at Ürümqi Airport in September 2007 after a baggage search revealed he was carrying four kilograms (9 lb) of heroin. The Chinese criminal code provides the death penalty for smuggling heroin in quantities more than 50 grams (2 oz) and he was sentenced to death.
In his reaction, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said he was ³appalled² by Mr Shaikh¹s execution ‹ a position which contrasts strongly with his lack of empathy for the hundreds of British lives lost as a result of his and the Tory-supported illegal and immoral wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
In those wars, British servicemen and women have been murdered in the most horrendous ways: by being blown up, shot at with sniper rifles, killed by roadside bombs and in rare occasions, even tortured to death by Islamist fighters, some of whom come from Britain.
Mr Brown and the liberal elite seem more concerned however, about one drug-smuggling Pakistani in China then they do about the hundreds of British soldiers they have sent to die in their dirty wars, or even of the tens of thousands of British pensioners who have already died this winter because they are unable to pay their privatised and dramatically increased heating bills.
Mr Shaikh, who the media quite falsely claim to be a ³British² man, was born in Pakistan in 1956. He moved to Britain in the 1960s and when he married a Hindu Indian, he insisted she convert to Islam before the marriage could take place.
Mr Shaikh and his family then lived in America during the 1980s (astonishing how Pakistani nationals appear to be able to glibly move between First World countries with no apparent immigration problems) but moved back to Britain when his estate agency went into bankruptcy.
He then started a minicab business in London but this also went insolvent. Mr Shaikh was accused of sexual harassment by a former employee at the company, although it is unknown if this contributed to the insolvency.
He then divorced and moved to Poland, where he was resident before travelling to China from where he was allegedly going on to perform at a nightclub in the neighbouring former Soviet republic of Kyrgyzstan. He was however arrested at Ürümqi Airport in September 2007 after a baggage search revealed he was carrying four kilograms (9 lb) of heroin. The Chinese criminal code provides the death penalty for smuggling heroin in quantities more than 50 grams (2 oz) and he was sentenced to death.
In his reaction, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said he was ³appalled² by Mr Shaikh¹s execution ‹ a position which contrasts strongly with his lack of empathy for the hundreds of British lives lost as a result of his and the Tory-supported illegal and immoral wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
In those wars, British servicemen and women have been murdered in the most horrendous ways: by being blown up, shot at with sniper rifles, killed by roadside bombs and in rare occasions, even tortured to death by Islamist fighters, some of whom come from Britain.
Mr Brown and the liberal elite seem more concerned however, about one drug-smuggling Pakistani in China then they do about the hundreds of British soldiers they have sent to die in their dirty wars, or even of the tens of thousands of British pensioners who have already died this winter because they are unable to pay their privatised and dramatically increased heating bills.
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(buffalo) Bill
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(buffalo) Bill
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(buffalo) Bill
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(buffalo) Bill
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(buffalo) Bill
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(buffalo) Bill
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(buffalo) Bill
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(buffalo) Bill
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- Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:57 pm
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(buffalo) Bill
- Banned
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- Location: Opposite the new marina in downtown Hua Hin.
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(buffalo) Bill
- Banned
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(buffalo) Bill
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- Location: Opposite the new marina in downtown Hua Hin.