When I first came to Thailand one of the instant attractions to the people was the whole "mai bpen rai" attitude. I liked it, nice, easy going, laid back and hassle free living. I would consider myself a relatively laid back person, one who prefers the easy life and tries to avoid confrontation if at all possible (although I have been know to stray from this now and then).
However the longer I live here the more I have been thinking about this, by avoiding all confrontation you allow other people to completely crap on you. Sometimes something just has to be said but we all know, this is not "Thai style" ... "mai bpen rai", let them do it.
So what do you do when someone on the road almost kills you, or your screaming child has been woken every day for the last three months by builders or you're getting blatantly ripped off by a smiling assassin?
Why would Thais rather endure hell and misery than speak up ... and why are some westerners too quick to voice their opinion? Drawing the balance on this fine line is not an easy task.
Look forward to your thoughts.
A society of pacifists ... or just lazy?
A society of pacifists ... or just lazy?
Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? - Hunter S Thompson
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Guess
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Yes, a conclusion that I have arrived at also.
The "mai bpen rai" attitude has a positive and negative side.
I have heard many Thai people criticise other Thais, when extremly bad driving is seen. There is no mai bpen rai then. Driving in Asia is an ernourmous topic that seems to be getting addressed albeit very slowly. When the Thais discover that large somes of money can be made by installing road cameras I believe that will change.
Builders waking up kids at stupid hours of the morning. I believe that regulations are in place about noise abatement. Well that was what I was told by a testabahn official when I was doing my place. He told me immediately prior to walking off 1000 baht richer threating to return after work was completed. His visit was prompted by somebody complaining about too much noise being made.
Get 'er indoors on the blower. This way you can make an official happy and completely pissoff you neighbours.
Mai bpen rai.
The "mai bpen rai" attitude has a positive and negative side.
I have heard many Thai people criticise other Thais, when extremly bad driving is seen. There is no mai bpen rai then. Driving in Asia is an ernourmous topic that seems to be getting addressed albeit very slowly. When the Thais discover that large somes of money can be made by installing road cameras I believe that will change.
Builders waking up kids at stupid hours of the morning. I believe that regulations are in place about noise abatement. Well that was what I was told by a testabahn official when I was doing my place. He told me immediately prior to walking off 1000 baht richer threating to return after work was completed. His visit was prompted by somebody complaining about too much noise being made.
Get 'er indoors on the blower. This way you can make an official happy and completely pissoff you neighbours.
Mai bpen rai.
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Good points.
I sometimes feel that it's a lot to do with a history of subservience and a hot climate.
You'll very rarely get a Thai person, other than your partner/good friend to express an opinion on politics - either for or against. It does interest them, in as much as it affects their lives, particularly financially. They're just uncomfortable with the idea and bearing in mind the juntas they've had over the past 15 years or so, who can blame them.
I reckon a hot climate potentially makes anyone explosive. How many times do we hear farangs say that the Thais are laid back etc until you really upset them?
OK, that could be said for anywhere, but I think it's apt over here. Officials at the Tessabahn, or other bureaucratic places are simply not used to having their decisions/mindsets challenged. They, also are unable to cope with the situation.
As more forigners move into HH, so the standard of service in many areas must improve. After all, a lot of us are both used to and good at complaining!!
I sometimes feel that it's a lot to do with a history of subservience and a hot climate.
You'll very rarely get a Thai person, other than your partner/good friend to express an opinion on politics - either for or against. It does interest them, in as much as it affects their lives, particularly financially. They're just uncomfortable with the idea and bearing in mind the juntas they've had over the past 15 years or so, who can blame them.
I reckon a hot climate potentially makes anyone explosive. How many times do we hear farangs say that the Thais are laid back etc until you really upset them?
OK, that could be said for anywhere, but I think it's apt over here. Officials at the Tessabahn, or other bureaucratic places are simply not used to having their decisions/mindsets challenged. They, also are unable to cope with the situation.
As more forigners move into HH, so the standard of service in many areas must improve. After all, a lot of us are both used to and good at complaining!!
Let me start with a little story. Over here in Pattaya we have what are called "bandit septic tank pumpers". They prey on unsuspecting people, usually those who have just moved into a house where the tank does not even need pumping (they have a trick dip stick). When we moved into this one in July, sure enough these guys showed up when I was not here and the wife (Thai) thought nothing of it as the owner had been sending workman and suppliers around non-stop to take care of dozens of things that needed doing right after we moved in. Anyway, I got home while the pumping was in progress and called the house owner (a 68 year old Australian who has lived here and in Asia for 23 years) and he almost stroked out. His Thai wife (the real house owner was on a trip overseas). He ran down here and almost got into a fist fight with the pump boss. He threw 1,000 baht at him and told him to get out or the police would be here in 5 minutes. The bandits fled.
Moral of the story in my opinion, this guy has learned nothing in his 23 years in Asia/Thailand. Yes of course you confront con artists like this but you don't put yourself in a position to receive physical harm or to have a heart attack, especially at his age. If you have a Thai wife or partner, in all circumstances like this, have her handle it if possible. Let Thai confront Thai and you as the farang, no matter how long you have been here, only be the observer and backup if needed.
I've come to find now that this house owner stress out like this almost daily over the smallest problems. He is an overdue candidate to get out of here and go home. He reminds me of myself during a previous 5 year stay where I finally fled to Hawaii for a few years to get my head straightened out. I came to the conclusion then that while in Thailand I was being cynical about everything and, I was being critical of everything without offering any constructive suggestions. In other words, I was living in an Asian society but I was still being western in my thinking and actions, and I was not even trying to think like a Thai or understand them. This time around I have made a point to try to change. It's working and I am much more calm and happy with my existence here. No, I let no one walk all over me but once again, I've found with major issues, letting Thai confront Thai is a much better solution. Pete
Moral of the story in my opinion, this guy has learned nothing in his 23 years in Asia/Thailand. Yes of course you confront con artists like this but you don't put yourself in a position to receive physical harm or to have a heart attack, especially at his age. If you have a Thai wife or partner, in all circumstances like this, have her handle it if possible. Let Thai confront Thai and you as the farang, no matter how long you have been here, only be the observer and backup if needed.
I've come to find now that this house owner stress out like this almost daily over the smallest problems. He is an overdue candidate to get out of here and go home. He reminds me of myself during a previous 5 year stay where I finally fled to Hawaii for a few years to get my head straightened out. I came to the conclusion then that while in Thailand I was being cynical about everything and, I was being critical of everything without offering any constructive suggestions. In other words, I was living in an Asian society but I was still being western in my thinking and actions, and I was not even trying to think like a Thai or understand them. This time around I have made a point to try to change. It's working and I am much more calm and happy with my existence here. No, I let no one walk all over me but once again, I've found with major issues, letting Thai confront Thai is a much better solution. Pete
Pete,
I'll agree with you, to a degree.
Sure, it's always better to let "the other half" deal with the situation, Thai on Thai. But after a number of years here, I just get the impresion that they're always unwilling to challenge anyone too much.
Your phone bill's wrong. The builders are causing noise etc etc ad infinitum. The misus goes round and politely explains the situation. I'll guarantee that in 80% of cases not a blind word of her's is taken heed of.
Ask the missus to do it again. Now, she's starting to feel confrontational with her country people and will generally back down again.
Now, start getting angry with her because you're certain she dosn't fully understand what you're wanting her to get across. Or maybe it's just the mindset, as I said before.
Now time for me and whilst I never know if I'm going to get anywhere, something generally happens in my favour and then it's back to "thankyou" and "mai pen rai" from both sides.
Face saved all round.
I'll agree with you, to a degree.
Sure, it's always better to let "the other half" deal with the situation, Thai on Thai. But after a number of years here, I just get the impresion that they're always unwilling to challenge anyone too much.
Your phone bill's wrong. The builders are causing noise etc etc ad infinitum. The misus goes round and politely explains the situation. I'll guarantee that in 80% of cases not a blind word of her's is taken heed of.
Ask the missus to do it again. Now, she's starting to feel confrontational with her country people and will generally back down again.
Now, start getting angry with her because you're certain she dosn't fully understand what you're wanting her to get across. Or maybe it's just the mindset, as I said before.
Now time for me and whilst I never know if I'm going to get anywhere, something generally happens in my favour and then it's back to "thankyou" and "mai pen rai" from both sides.
Face saved all round.
Pete, good points but the crux of my entire post was that many Thais will not be confrontational and will just roll with it living in misery day in day out while other selfish bastards make their lives hell.
My other half happens to be one of these, sometimes I wish she had big cojones and would unleash some of the fury that I'm often subjected to onto others more deserving.
My other half happens to be one of these, sometimes I wish she had big cojones and would unleash some of the fury that I'm often subjected to onto others more deserving.
Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? - Hunter S Thompson