Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

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goreme
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Re: Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

Post by goreme » Thu Apr 23, 2015 2:44 pm

bcrglobal wrote:Worst one we had was entering the US in Denver on a flight from Germany. My wife was on a tourist visa at the time, but we went through the Citizens and Immigrants line together (As families have the right to do in the US)

Nasty fugly b!tch behind the counter processed my passport, stamped it, returned it, and then said "So, this is your wife? Where'd you buy her? I mean meet her?" God I was angry, but there is NOTHING you can do....Passport and Customs people have a scary amount of power. Guy at customs MORE than made up for it though, was retiring to Thailand in 2 months time, and spent a while chatting with us about Thailand and what to expect when he got here....VERY friendly chap.
This is what's so offensive about many Americans, they think it's ok to say whatever's on their mind regardless of who they offend. Many are conditioned to act aggressively and see no problem with creating drama while being rude to others.

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Re: Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

Post by caller » Thu Apr 23, 2015 3:28 pm

goreme wrote:This is what's so offensive about many Americans, they think it's ok to say whatever's on their mind regardless of who they offend. Many are conditioned to act aggressively and see no problem with creating drama while being rude to others.
I know I should leave this alone, but what the hell.....

There's a certain irony in what you have written.
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Re: Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

Post by JamesWest » Thu Apr 23, 2015 6:10 pm

i don't get the age difference bad vibe thing, i see the daydreaming husband on vacation syndrome. It can be brutal here.

many many times i am out at the beach eating with my girlfriend and there are tourists, married couples in their late 50's early 60's seated at the restaurant. I am 59 and look about 50 and my girlfriend is 43, but looks about 34, and looks even younger with her sunglasses on. She weights 95 pounds with a beautiful face, high cheek bones, flawless skin and long shiny black hair and a perfect figure.

there is a lot of laughter at our table and goofing off. FUN. sometimes I can have three Thai women around our table, the waitress, the cook and my girfriend. All sort of goofing and talking.

Being Thai she i modest but wears those very short jean cutoffs at the beach. all of this can really cause some stress as the vacationing husband sort of forgets himself. He gets that look on his face in front of his wife like who is this guy and how come he gets to do this and i can't? it gets real quite at their table and their wives really pick up on it. I'm like "dude wake up before you get divorced right here, right now."

it can be really awkward. i feel bad for the farang women. i have warned many of my farang women friends in the USA not to go on vacation with their husbands in Thailand or SEA. No contest.

Of course Thai women are totally freaked out about other Thai women. my girlfriend does not let me go anywhere without her. NO WHERE.

I do know one expat who is 72 and has TWO 26 year old girlfriends. He does get lot of flack. He buys alot of iPhones and shoes .
I really like this forum because there are no personal attacks. All the members contribute in a positive way to my posts.

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Re: Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

Post by Gregjam » Thu Apr 23, 2015 6:27 pm

I am in a similar situation to JamesWest in regard to my wife's attitude to other Thai women albeit she is only a couple of years younger than me. Even though we have been married for 25 years it it is one aspect of our marriage that has never changed. I am considering getting an iPhone too so she can use the find my phone app rather than call me when I am out cycling. I know I shouldn't need to and do not consciously try to wind her up but even if look at a waitress in the wrong way I am in trouble.
Where this relates to the topic is that in the past I have been sent off with one of the young nieces or nephews which can get some weird glances from tourists although locals know exactly what is going on when I talk to the kids in Thai.
I sometimes feel like turning round to the tourist and asking them what they would feel like if they were with their grandkids and got the same treatment.

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Re: Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

Post by Bristolian » Thu Apr 23, 2015 7:26 pm

During HH Songkran, late afternoon, my family were sitting outside in a bar next to the Hilton. My 7 year old son had still not had enough of playing and was draining the last of the water and letting passing revellers "have it"

The rest of my family consisted of my wife, her younger sister and two nieces, in their early 20s. The conversation was quite lively between the 5 of us as we watched my son and recounted stories of the day in Thai and English.

A couple, obviously European tourists, in their early 50s walked past us as they were leaving and the woman (not lady) leaned back at our table, looked directly at me, and said "you should be ashamed of yourself, some of these ***** are young enough to be your daughters!"..... For once in my life I was speachless...stunned. Since then I have thought of many perfect retorts...all too late of course.
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Re: Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

Post by Big Boy » Thu Apr 23, 2015 7:58 pm

Just feel sorry for their lack of knowledge. I inherited a Thai daughter when she was just 13, have walked the streets in many parts of Thailand with a Thai looking son from age 6 months to his now 24 years. I have 2 Thai granddaughters aged 8 and 16, who I have been close to since their birth - we all get on well as a family, and I don't care what anybody thinks or says.

Did I worry when I took my bride, probably a quarter of my size to the UK nearly 30 years ago? Did I hell. Most of those that made comment were trying to make fun, but were actually jealous when they looked at their podgy other half.

Having said the above, I think Thai people are a lot more accepting of the situation than Westerners. I've lived this way for almost 30 years. My wife was more than capable of dealing with any discrimination in the UK, and as far as I know, never once let it get her down. I've seen her leave these people in tears at the cheese counter in Tesco because they thought they'd make a snide remark, or thought their white skin gave them priority. Yes, there are some spiteful people out there, but some people are that way to anything - just think outside of the box regarding why they are that way. Ignore the bigots, they aren't worth it.
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Re: Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

Post by Thistle » Thu Apr 23, 2015 9:50 pm

Hope your wife and family get to read your post Big Boy,and i am sure will be very proud,just as you seem to be walking at their side.

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Re: Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

Post by hhfarang » Thu Apr 23, 2015 10:52 pm

The worst one happened to me in California 19 years ago when I first brought my wife to the U.S. My wife has always looked much younger than she is to most people. In fact when I was first introduced to her by a friend, I thought he was trying to hook me up with an under-age girl and had to ask how old she was. She was 24, 5 feet tall, and 90 lbs soaking wet, and looked like she could be less than 18!

Anyway, I am 21 years older so right after we got married I took her to the CA DMV to get her driving license and the lady behind the counter said something like "How nice, coming in with your daughter to help her get her first U.S. license". I'm pretty sure she knew it was not my daughter and that was just a snide remark, but I held up her left hand and said "this is my wife". The (somewhere around 240 lb) woman behind the counter just smiled.

It's even worse now as after nearly 20 years of marriage, she has aged much better than I have so the disparity is even more apparent. When I hear remarks like these or see the "looks" I just write it off to Jealousy.
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Re: Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

Post by jumusman » Thu Apr 23, 2015 11:46 pm

advocate wrote: They replied I had no business dating a teenage girl.

Sounds like they had no business being in Bangkok. I would have told them to get over it.
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