A morning on the beach

Post by **dtaai-maai** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 11:15 am

Sorry to inflict this nasty little tale on you, but I need to get it all off my chest, and it might prove a useful warning for the unsuspecting tourist.

Over the last few months we’ve (Mrs D-M and I) got into the habit of popping down to Hat Sai Noi on the motorcy first thing in the morning 2-3 days a week. Bit of a nuisance, but the doctor said I needed to get some exercise, and since I’ve developed an allergy to chlorine, swimming in the sea seemed as good a way as any to exercise. Without overdoing it, of course. I mean, I don’t want to tire myself out.

It’s only five minutes from the house, but what an irritating ride; the road dappled with tree shadows so you can’t see where you’re going; birds, bees, butterflies and dragonflies flittering and fluttering all over the place – you can imagine, can’t you?

Anyway, we get to the beach at about 7.30-7.45 and struggle through the sand to a deckchair. You can barely see the sea for the glittering reflection of the sun on the water, but it looks like a millpond. I mean, where are all the crashing waves and exciting surf, for crying out loud. The lass from the restaurant comes over with water and ice, then we have to decide whether to have breakfast there or not - <sigh> I hate decisions first thing. Anyway, no decision today, as we’d bought some of those freshly fried little doughnutty things that go down nicely with a good cup of coffee. They are, of course, an extremely unhealthy way to start the day, but mai bpen rai - the extra calories were compensated for by the extreme effort involved in getting the lid off the coffee flask.

The next decision is whether to stride athletically down to the water and have a swim before sitting down, or to flop into a deckchair knowing that at some point Mrs D-M and a couple of the restaurant staff are going to have to lever me out of the damn thing.

You’d think it would be quiet at that time of the morning, but you’d be surprised. Oh, there’s nobody around sure enough (except for three men in a boat [sounds familiar] pottering about with fishing nets or some such – surely they should be off somewhere working for a living?), but there’s all kinds of racket; a cock crowing sporadically, and the noise of the sea itself – Christ, why does water have to make such a racket? And I’m sure I could hear a dog barking somewhere off in the distance.

Into the water then. Flat, calm, ideal for swimming – better get some exercise, I suppose <sigh>. Of course, it’s all pretty boring out there. I’m floating on my back (recovering from the exercise…) thinking about the meaning of life, the universe and everything, but there’s nothing to see except a perfectly blue sky unbroken by the slightest wisp of cloud. How boring is that? This morning, though, there was a sliver of moon visible over the shoreline; WTF is that all about? There’s a place for everything, and everything has its place, and seeing the moon at 8 in the morning does not compute. If I get really bored, I tread water for a while and look at the back of Buddha’s head at the top of the hill, but my attention span isn’t what it used to be. The only thing that breaks the monotony is the little cluster of palm trees that some bright spark wedged into the sand at the mermaid end of the beach – below the waterline, of course. Naturally, they’re dead.

Even the solitary jellyfish that stung me yesterday seems to have disappeared. Probably gone looking for its mates off HH beach.

There were a lot of irritating tiny fish out there this morning trying to nibble my nipples. I pretended to take an interest in their comings and goings for a while, but couldn’t feign it for long.

So I clamber out of the water and stagger up to the chair. Mrs D-M is sitting there doing her ‘cottage’ (took me a year to work out this meant cross-stitch). Bless her, I know how much she loves these little jaunts to the seaside. She wraps up quite well, but I suppose the breeze can be a bit chilly for her – funny, aren’t they, these Thai folk? Every now and then I hear her mutter away cheerfully something about ‘see-dum’, which is probably something spicy she’s considering having for breakfast.

Of course, all I can think about is getting home and logging on to HHAD to see what the latest insightful comments in the Current Affairs section are. Mrs D-M asks if I want to go home yet, but I’m a sensitive and thoughtful farang husband, and I know she really wants to stay a while longer, so I grin and bear it and read my book for half an hour before going for another dip. Bloody fish are still there.

Eventually, we head for home, and I grin to myself in the knowledge that no more than half an hour after hitting the ‘on’ switch, my steam-driven PC combined with the super-fast TT&T line will have me connected to HHAD.

My advice to all residents and tourists is to stay well away from Hat Sai Noi. At least until after 10 a.m. – we’ve usually gone home by then…

Spitfire · Post by **Spitfire** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 11:50 am

Could just buy a treadmill and do a couple of kms each morning if it's just a bit of exercise you're after, saves a whole load of palaver and is much safer than leaving the house for such pursuits unless, of course, you like the get out and about early sort of thing. I'm not much of an early morning adventurer though.

Post by **hhfarang** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:00 pm

Nice story D-M,

I'm with you Spitfire, not a morning person. I usually go straight to the coffee machine (after getting up between 8 and 9) and then to the computer where I sit until lunchtime. After lunch I watch some news until the food settles and then go to my air conned exercise room for some strength training and/or a jaunt on my elyptical cross trainer while I watch some more news or listen to music.

That pretty much takes care of the day until late afternoon. Then I wake up!

Post by **lomuamart** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:24 pm

I had a much better morning, d-m.
Up at 7.30. Had to make my own breakfast as the wife was still sleeping. Messed about with the computer for a while and then got a super fast songthaew into town and walked down from the night market to the beach.
It was great to see some life down there at 10.30am. In fact, I could hardly get onto the beach for all the horses tethered up at the Sofitel. I noticed that the tide was really high, so that put paid to my plans to stroll to Khao Takiab. The sand was soft and heavy going to walk and all these people walking in the opposite direction kept knocking me out of the way, deeper into the sea where I spent a lot of time with jellyfish. It was great to see so much horse s*** around and I wished I'd brought a bin liner along to collect it all and use it for plant fertiliser - can't have everything though, can I?
As expected, the tide only allowed me to get to Chiva Som (which was just as well as I didn't fancy the other half of the walk), so I had a short way to go from there back to the main road to get another songthaew home.
The only downside of the morning was that this little shop jumped out at me and I was forced to buy a can of Chang.
Sorry to hear you had a bad morning

ozuncle · Post by **ozuncle** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:26 pm

Yes dtaai-maai i know what you mean!

I have to do the same things when i'm there on holiday with the Thai in- laws.

Post by **Vital Spark** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:27 pm

Thank you D-M, what an enjoyable and refreshing read.

I hope the fishermen don't spot that you're such a hit with the fish - they might decide to kidnap you and use you as bait.

VS

Post by **Big Boy** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 1:26 pm

A nice gentle story to read whilst eating my porridge this morning. I was waiting for the punch line where you'd been ripped off, been served some awful food or had been attacked by a swarm (what is the correct collective?) of jelly fish. No - just a normal trip to the beach.

Post by **Nereus** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 1:31 pm

Big Boy wrote:A nice gentle story to read whilst eating my porridge this morning. I was waiting for the punch line where you'd been ripped off, been served some awful food or had been attacked by a swarm (what is the correct collective?) of jelly fish. No - just a normal trip to the beach.

I think that it is a "School", for some strange reason.

Post by **hhfarang** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 1:45 pm

A group of Jellyfish is called a "bloom" or (by some) a "smack".

Post by **dtaai-maai** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 3:14 pm

hhfarang wrote:A group of Jellyfish is called a "bloom" or (by some) a "smack".

... or a 'fluther', apparently!

I particularly liked a 'loveliness' of ladybirds and a 'neverthriving' of jugglers!

Google/Wiki - you learn something new every day...

Post by **Big Boy** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 4:13 pm

a swarm (what is the correct collective?) of jelly fish

Sorry DM, my intention was not to steal your thread.

Post by **migrant** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 9:26 pm

Wow, my condolences on a terrible morning dtaai-maai!!

Mine was a wonder filled morning of one bright spot (coffee maker acting up) to another!

The 3 mile trip to work only took 25 minutes today. Was greeted with a joyful 14 clients all wanting their tax returns done by noon. I thought it particularly thoughtful of them since they have had 8 months to get me the info, and the returns are due Tuesday with no extensions.

My group of procrastinators really care about me, they wanted to make sure I didn't have a boring weekend. Now I have lots of messy data to organize and prepare the taxes from this Saturday and Sunday!!

After my 12 hours at work I got home and my wife, who has Friday off, is full of energy and wants to show me all the pictures she printed off the computer, and get my help organizing them in a album. Never mind they are well organised in the computer, it was sure a joy to relook at all of those before I got to eat, and even pour a drink!! The small salad I had for lunch (wolfed down between appointments) was sure a long lasting nourishment!!

After dinner and drinks poured it was decided that we were going to watch Thai soap operas, the best way to relax with the pleasant knowledge of all the work ahead of me this weekend!!

What a wondeful day, sorry your's was so tough dtaai-maai!!

Post by **hhfarang** » Sat Sep 12, 2009 9:33 pm

Migrant,

Thanks for putting my terrible retirement here in perspective!

Post by **Khundon1975** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 4:27 pm

dtaai-maai

Life's a bitch ain't it DM.

Lets hope tomorrow is better for you, you are in our prayers.

Post by **dtaai-maai** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 5:24 pm

Khundon1975 wrote: Life's a bitch ain't it DM.

Nah, life's a beach...