Relationship choices for farang women in LOS

[DawnHRD]

Leading on from "No love for the Farang Woman?" OP'd by Sultry, I think we can safely assume that most farang men in Thailand prefer Thai women.

So, what options does that leave the single, heterosexual farang woman?
As far as I can see, it's between the following:

Relationships with Thai men

One night stands (with farang or Thai men).

Waiting around for the one elusive farang guy in Thailand who actually prefers Western women & isn't already married

Keeping away from men (relationship-wise) altogether.

So, to the farang ladies on the forum, which is it to be & why (if you don't find it too intrusive)? Or, if you have another option, feel free to add it.

FYI, I've done 2 of the options, am now on a third option , and feel the one I haven't done is a waste of time & effort!

Look forward to hearing some opinions

[hollygolightly1]

Well, excellent question, Dawn - the start of a whole sex in the city style thread! I was having exactly this discussion with two women the other night and we were quite pessimistic about the possibilities. One even said it would be a reason for not staying in Hua Hin for more than a year or two.

I also think there is an age factor. I'm 37 and haven't met any men my age (other than tourists) who are single and don't have a Thai g/friend who is half their age. So if I'm feeling cynical, I would say since 35+ men are likely to be with someone, or heading for a mid-life crisis, you might as well go out with younger ones (again if they are not totally Thai-d up!).
Which is great if you're happy being single, but maybe not ideal if you want a relationship.

Then there's always the fine double standards where, even in a bar girl culture, I can bet it's frowned on for farang women to indulge in as many one-night stands as men (how many till you get branded the whore of Hua Hin??!!)

What I don't get - and it drives me mad - is seeing farang guys in restaurants with their friends and Thai girlfriend and the poor girl is sat there, obviously bored, doesn't speak a word all night cos she can't join in the conversation; and if the man even acknowledges her at all, he speaks in a strange abbreviated English that isn't going to help her language skills any... What do these men get out of it other than having arm candy (and sex later)? If it were the other way round, I'd find it so frustrating, so it'd be hard to have a relationship with a Thai guy unless one of you were fluent in the other one's language, I imagine.

I think importing men and vaccinating them against the charms of Thai women may be the solution.

[Bas]

Sorry, made a male mistake, please erease......[quote][/quote]

[H2ODunc]

Ladies forgive the male intrusion into the OP but I thought you might like an insight from a male farang side. I have spent 2-1/2 years in LOS and spent 9 months in HH. Not all farang are in LOS for the women, though granted a lot are. I know of lots of farang for who asian women just dont float the boat as they say myself included. The trouble I found lies in the fact most female farang presume that as a single guy all I've been doing is sh%$£ing bargirls since arrival. You try and chat a single farang as I have done several times in HH and they dont want to know. As was said you see these guys in bars and resteraunts with young BG and all they do is sit. The most you get out of them is "up to you " I would rather have dinner and spend the evening talking about life, times, places politics etc etc even if at the end of the night all I got was "thanks for a nice night "
So ladies next time you see a single guy not with a thai girl go and say hello, you never know he may be just like me

[splitlid]

Ladies forgive the male intrusion into the OP but I thought you might like an insight from a male farang side. I have spent 2-1/2 years in LOS and spent 9 months in HH. Not all farang are in LOS for the women, though granted a lot are. I know of lots of farang for who asian women just dont float the boat as they say myself included. The trouble I found lies in the fact most female farang presume that as a single guy all I've been doing is sh%$£ing bargirls since arrival. You try and chat a single farang as I have done several times in HH and they dont want to know. As was said you see these guys in bars and resteraunts with young BG and all they do is sit. The most you get out of them is "up to you " I would rather have dinner and spend the evening talking about life, times, places politics etc etc even if at the end of the night all I got was "thanks for a nice night "
So ladies next time you see a single guy not with a thai girl go and say hello, you never know he may be just like me

looking to get laid dunc????

[lomuamart]

I've been trying to look for the article I was reading earlier today.
Basically, it was "a survey" of about 1,000 foreigners in Thailand - those who are here and those who"d left.
Reasons to stay, after the "honneymoon period" , I cant remember. But it was spot on.
If as a normal person, you get by the first 3/4 years here, you've made it.
The thing is, that those men who last that long will never disrespect Western women.
I'm looking forward to taking my wife back to the UK, where she will meet very powerful ladies - corporately and socially.
I'm really looking forward to a bit of honesty in the UK - from me.

[fremdulo]

I have got to add my support to h2odunc on this. I don’t have Thai girlfriend and don’t want one, (or boyfriend if that’s what you’re thinking). The main reason is that you can’t have a proper conversation, how can you have a relationship with someone you cant talk to in anything other than stilted one-liners. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to pick up the Thai language but get no help at all, there was one time I tried to get half a dozen Thais to explain a single word to me and I got half a dozen different replies. Then don’t forget the horror stories. But the thing I resent most is being painted with the sex-pat brush especially by the British and American media. I like it here, it’s cheap and easy, but maybe it’s time to move my sorry ass somewhere else, somewhere I will be judged on the content of my character and not by the colour of my skin.

[DawnHRD]

Fremdulo & Dunc,

Really sorry that I lumped all farang guys together like that. If you read the "No love for the farang lady" thread, you'll see how easy it is to get that idea. And, we farang women live that thread every day (depending on how often we think about men or relationships, that is)

Anyway, I'm happy to find that there are exceptions to the rule. Nice to hear that point of view And, if farang women do treat you as if you're sex tourists, rather than enjoying a conversation with you, then I think us ladies need to be a bit more open minded too, instead of generalising.

[pookie]

Has anybody thought that falang men dont want to go TO something/where, but are, in fact escaping FROM something/where?
Cold, miserable weather, high taxes from an ever more intrusive government. And especially from what i cal "the feminazi" mindset of some females.....miserable as sin and miserable towards men in general.
I am NOT including all women in that, but it seems to be on the increase more and more.
Whenever i have been waiting to catch a flight back to UK i just sit and observe my fellow "prisoners of the air travel system" airside.
You tend to notice the Asian women seem to "glide" past cheerily, whereas the Western bints tend to march, stoney-faced and scowling
I once said to a friend of mine as we were observing "look at that falang,she has put her smile on upside down"...............if looks could kill i wouldnt be here writing this

Pookie

[hollygolightly1]

Has anybody thought that falang men dont want to go TO something/where, but are, in fact escaping FROM something/where?
Cold, miserable weather, high taxes from an ever more intrusive government. And especially from what i cal "the feminazi" mindset of some females.....miserable as sin and miserable towards men in general.
I am NOT including all women in that, but it seems to be on the increase more and more.
Whenever i have been waiting to catch a flight back to UK i just sit and observe my fellow "prisoners of the air travel system" airside.
You tend to notice the Asian women seem to "glide" past cheerily, whereas the Western bints tend to march, stoney-faced and scowling
I once said to a friend of mine as we were observing "look at that falang,she has put her smile on upside down"...............if looks could kill i wouldnt be here writing this

Pookie

You see, just as we were beginning to think there's hope after all... we get back to this kind of comment which is basically saying, it's our own fault men aren't interested, we should smile more! Are you sure all those smiles are so genuine; do you care if they're not? Personally, I've never been scowling and stoney-faced at an airport, not even during a three hour wait for a Sleazyjet flight when all the refreshment places were closed. If only I could be a Stepford wife

[JW]

I agree with fremdulo on this one, but i have met one or 2 thai girls who have seen other countries and cultures and are good conversation. I guess when the right person comes along you know.

[DawnHRD]

Pookie,
I don't mean to be rude, but your reply has very little to do with the OP. In that, I stated that we have (as farang women) accepted that most, if not all, farang men in LOS preferred Thai women. I was asking the ladies what they felt their options were. The reasons for men's preferences have been discussed ad nauseum & I feel we're all pretty familiar with them. I'm sorry that you feel the way that you do, and that you've met such miserable "bints", but I'm not going to get drawn into that argument yet again. That's not what this thread is about.

[DawnHRD]

Pookie,
Just re read your post & have noticed something else. You mentioned these experiences were waiting for flights back to the UK. So, just a shot in the dark here, d'you think the Western women could be scowling because they're leaving a wonderful holiday, full of sun & sanuk & going back to the cold miserable weather & high taxes.
And the Asian women could be gliding past cheerily because they're going somewhere new & exciting (for them).
Ever thought of it in that way?

[SuperTonic]

You see, just as we were beginning to think there's hope after all... we get back to this kind of comment which is basically saying, it's our own fault men aren't interested, we should smile more! Are you sure all those smiles are so genuine; do you care if they're not? Personally, I've never been scowling and stoney-faced at an airport, not even during a three hour wait for a Sleazyjet flight when all the refreshment places were closed. If only I could be a Stepford wife

I think possibly you're taking the original post more seriously than it's meant, but that's your choice. Regarding the genuineness of smiles, I wouldn't say that it matters. Strangely, if one acts as if one is cheerful, and makes a conscious effort to be happier, it often works to make you genuinely more happy. People respond differently to you, and your life tends to improve, thus making you happier. Unfortunately not everyone gets that, and perhaps that is what the post is referring to, in that perhaps Westerners (male and female) are a bit miserable compared to Thais, and that this is more because of their mindset and a determination to stay miserable than an actual cause for unhappiness.

End of ramble.

[SuperTonic]

Pookie,
Just re read your post & have noticed something else. You mentioned these experiences were waiting for flights back to the UK. So, just a shot in the dark here, d'you think the Western women could be scowling because they're leaving a wonderful holiday, full of sun & sanuk & going back to the cold miserable weather & high taxes.
And the Asian women could be gliding past cheerily because they're going somewhere new & exciting (for them).
Ever thought of it in that way?

Hehe I was bloody miserable as sin heading for BKK to go back to Britain. Soon as we got here we knew we were home when confronted with surly railway staff, knackered tubes and nutters on trains. A good reason to be depressed I think