No love for the farang woman?

[Sultry]

I was reading a couple of articles at Mangosauce.com and honestly, I was quite surprised/shocked at the hostility towards farang women from farang men.
According to them, all Western women are vile, selfish, career-driven, jealous, frustrated, psychotic witches.

Do all foreigners think this way?

[kevars]

yes

[Jaime]

I was reading a couple of articles at Mangosauce.com and honestly, I was quite surprised/shocked at the hostility towards farang women from farang men.
According to them, all Western women are vile, selfish, career-driven, jealous, frustrated, psychotic witches.

Do all foreigners think this way?

I think it is a reaction to the commonly held perception in 'The West' that all male vistors to Thailand, especially those with Thai wives or girlfriends, are inadequate, perverted, seedy, exploitative sex tourists looking for a submissive sex/domestic slave. This is a view that, as a farang man married to a Thai woman here in the UK, I can honestly say is mostly expressed vocally by the vile, selfish, career-driven, jealous, frustrated, psychotic witches that you describe. You forgot to include 'threatened,' 'ignorant' and 'small minded' in your description though.

Of course, these are just stereotypes... aren't they?

[olmate]

Yes just as farang women look at me as the sleazy drunken slob who only visits Thailand for one reason which i do not. Unfortunately though im instantly stereotyped by western women both at home and abroad.
Even off my friends girlfriends i always get "Oh we know why you really go to Thailand". Guilty as charged sir!!!!!!!!!

[JW]

Some serious bullets flying in the direction of the western girls there boys! I guess when you meet he right person it doesnt matter where they may be from!
BTW i dont mind where the lady is from. Have to say that it is nice sometimes to meet someone who understands a little about your own country and culture.

[Wanderlust]

I think, being slightly kinder to Western women, that women find it hard to understand men and vice versa, but the tendency to complain about the lack of understanding is shown more often and with greater force by Western women, while Thai women (and I am sure other nations too) seem to go with the flow more. There are obviously exceptions to these generalisations, but I believe this is one of the major reasons that a lot of men over here have a downer on Western women. You might also find that a lot of the critical comments come from a certain age group, I would say 40 and over, who have been through bad relationships/expensive divorces in their own countries, but who also lived during the years of women's lib through to radical feminism, and either (a) missed out on the 'good old days' of working man and housewife, or (b) are fed up with what they see as hypocritical women, one example being decrying the use of scantily clad women in advertising while drooling over a man used in the same way.
As the saying goes, 'Women: can't live with them, can't kill them!'

[caller]

Don't know if this helps Sultry, but here goes:

I live in an area where approx. 22,000 members of the community are from what could loosely be called a South-East Asian country. Most on work secondments, but many who have now settled. There is also a sizeable Japanese community. My neighbours on one side are SE asian. Before they moved, my neighbours on the other side were mixed Brit/Japanese. A good 40% of the local shops are SE asian, it is normal to see many SE asians everywhere and with the offspring, mixed relationships.

A couple of months ago, in my local supermarket, I noticed a guy, I guess about 50ish, with a younger, I assumed Thai lady, I could have been wrong, but certainly not from the established SE asian community. I couldn't work out her age, but she seemed no older than 30, but its not always easy to tell. I'd never seen them before.

Now, because my Thai wife and step-son should be joining me here soon, visa application permitting, and that couple could be us, I kept a discreet eye on them because the immediate thing I noticed was the looks they were getting from other shoppers - not the asians, I should point out.

I'm not talking subtle here, I'm talking outright gawping, guess who by, yup, mainly middle aged white women. Some, I thought verged on the offensive. Openly nudge-nudging either their male partners - who seemed amused - or their daughters, or whoever. But not discreet in any way. I could feel the tut-tutting.

The couple must have noticed and I thought the Thai lady(?) looked very self-conscious. I felt for her.

At check out, I was a few places behind them (it was a Saturday morning and very busy), the stares they were getting over the top of their glasses by these woman shoppers made very uncomfortable viewing. There was hardly any chat, which is not normal - I can only describe it as the silence you get when as a stranger you walk into a "locals" bar. You could almost hear a pin drop.

So, I witnessed the perceptions mentioned above, the guy and his lady had been firmly buttonholed and clearly put into the dirty old man, she must be a sex worker category. Did I detect hostility? Definitely.

And this in one of the most harmonious mixed communities on these shores, where I'm sure the local indigenous community are proud of living in such a cosmopiltan area and where my local newsagent informs me that his biggest selling papers are the broadsheets! I was really shocked.

My wife won't be given a 2nd glance when out on her own around here, but when with me, maybe I should learn to walk a few steps behind her?

Not a chance, I'll walk with my held held high and rightly proud.

Maybe Jaime summed it up better in far fewer words?

[Sultry]

I think it is a reaction to the commonly held perception in 'The West' that all male vistors to Thailand, especially those with Thai wives or girlfriends, are inadequate, perverted, seedy, exploitative sex tourists looking for a submissive sex/domestic slave.

In that case, I can't blame those men for being saying what they do about farang women.

The sterotype of 'all foreign men looking for a Thai sex slave' is unfortunately fairly common in the West. It certainly doesn't help that sleazy TV shows just LOVE going to Thailand to find and interview the biggest foreign jackass who sleeps around with 5 different Thai women and treats them all like shit. I hate those shows >_<

[VincentD]

I'm not talking subtle here, I'm talking outright gawping, guess who by, yup, mainly middle aged white women. Some, I thought verged on the offensive.

Obviously a common introverted practice, meant to intimidate. Sad. I think you'll find many of the assimilated Asians with a similar attitude, but not as openly expressed.
Even the worst case farang is treated better (in a similar situation in Thailand) by the Thais.

Openly nudge-nudging either their male partners - who seemed amused - or their daughters, or whoever. But not discreet in any way. I could feel the tut-tutting.

That their male partners should seem amused implicates them as well. Until they suffer a similar fate and have to come back with one of their own...

The couple must have noticed and I thought the Thai lady(?) looked very self-conscious. I felt for her.

I would feel for her, too.

Not a chance, I'll walk with my held held high and rightly proud.

Good on you. You may, however, need to prepare your wife for the obvious hostility, and perhaps look for ways to integrate/ assimilate, if you plan on living there for an extended period of time?

[essbee]

My wife is Thai and is a fantastic wife. Yes I have been through the painful divorce with a western woman after some 26 years of marriage.

When I first met my Thai wife I was taken by all of the positive aspect of the Thai way, of course nobody is perfect but I can’t believe how much easier she is to live with that my ex. My Thai wife is some 16 years younger that me and worse still probably looks 25 years younger……….. and there is the problem I guess (we have been together for 5 years now).

We have stayed in the Dusit, Anantara in HH and many other hotels in Thailand and one thing is common is the glares we both get from “whiteâ€

[Jaime]

Some serious bullets flying in the direction of the western girls there boys! I guess when you meet he right person it doesnt matter where they may be from!
BTW i dont mind where the lady is from. Have to say that it is nice sometimes to meet someone who understands a little about your own country and culture.

You are spot on there JW and my post was more than a little tongue in cheek.

Having said that, I recognise the scenario described by Caller very well, having encountered it personally and I have posted about this before.

I'll walk with my held held high and rightly proud.

Good on you. You may, however, need to prepare your wife for the obvious hostility, and perhaps look for ways to integrate/ assimilate, if you plan on living there for an extended period of time?

I'm not sure that I would describe it as hostility Vincent - it is certainly never expressed explicitly in that manner. I'm not quite sure what it is though. Disdain? Pity? Disgust? Maybe you are right and the hostility is implicit in these expressions of disparagement. Thankfully, these people are in a minority - the biggest challenges will be in the relationship itself - but that is a whole new subject and thread!

[silverbird]

I was reading a couple of articles at Mangosauce.com and honestly, I was quite surprised/shocked at the hostility towards farang women from farang men.
According to them, all Western women are vile, selfish, career-driven, jealous, frustrated, psychotic witches.

Do all foreigners think this way?

Anything that is not within the normal standard regarding humans seems to annoy a lot of people. This can also be seen at the replies to Sultrys question. This is unfortunately nothing we can do enough about. I am married to younger Thai lady – and very happy with my marriage. I was married to farang wife for 35 years and that was a good marriage as well. I find it impossible to to label other people “bad or goodâ€

[VincentD]

I'm not sure that I would describe it as hostility Vincent - it is certainly never expressed explicitly in that manner. I'm not quite sure what it is though. Disdain? Pity? Disgust? Maybe you are right and the hostility is implicit in these expressions of disparagement. Thankfully, these people are in a minority - the biggest challenges will be in the relationship itself - but that is a whole new subject and thread!

And you're right; hostility is probably too strong a word. Fingers faster than the brain there. Perhaps bigotry is closer to the mark?

When I got married to my Thai wife eighteen years ago, it used to raise even Thai eyebrows, especially so that she was a well-educated girl with a very good job. My parents, etc were a bit sceptical at first, but once they (and the rest of the family) got to know her and her family, they love her just as much as any one of us.
I still get stared at, but more so for my comprehension of the Thai language...

I'm happy living in Thailand, but it may not be for all.

[buksida]

There is a lot of truth in what has been said above but personally I havent experienced much of it. Maybe because I am a bit younger, my other half is the same age, and we've never been to the west together. So farang women are still fine in my eyes.

Everyone's situation is different, and as silverbird said above, we should all show a little more respect for each other regardless of age, sex, creed or colour.

[JW]

Its one of those battles that will always go on, people do make there minds up at first glance - sad but true.