Best of the Rest of the World

[dtaai-maai]

^^Very funny and very clever, but it's also made by the lady who took the call, who obviously enjoyed it and entered into the spirit of the thing.

[pharvey]

^^Very funny and very clever, but it's also made by the lady who took the call, who obviously enjoyed it and entered into the spirit of the thing.

Absolutely

[Nereus]

Barrack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in an airplane that crashes.

Next thing you know they're up in heaven and standing before God.

God addresses Barrack first: "Barrack... what do you believe in?"

Barrack replies "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFC's and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die". God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left".

God then addresses Hillary Clinton: " Hillary, what do you believe in?"

Hillary replies "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain".

God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right".

God then address Donald Trump: "Donald, what do you believe?" Donald replies "I believe you're in my chair!"

[Nereus]

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[pharvey]

If this can't cheer you up during "Lockdown", nothing will...... Love this man
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Stay Well & Keep Safe!

[Nereus]

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[Nereus]

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.

"No Way" says Mick, have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

[dtaai-maai]

[Dannie Boy]

Obviously written by somebody with a naughty sense of humour - I’m sure that children will enjoy it as long as they can read it themselves, rather than mum or dad who will be bursting into fits of laughter!!

[sateeb]

Made me smile

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[Nereus]

Obviously written by somebody with a naughty sense of humour - I’m sure that children will enjoy it as long as they can read it themselves, rather than mum or dad who will be bursting into fits of laughter!!

Completely ruined by the stupid giggling woman. I could only watch a couple of minutes before turning it off.

[Lost]

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[Nereus]

An elderly man in Queensland had owned a large property for several years.

He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees .
The dam had been fixed up for swimming *♂️ when it was built and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees .

One evening the farmer decided to go down to the dam to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.
He grabbed a ten litre bucket to bring back some fruit .

As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!’

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked.

'Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.’




Moral: Old men may walk slow, but they can still think fast.

[handdrummer]

Mary woke up in the morning to find that her husband, John, wasn't in bed.
She went downstairs and saw him sitting at the kitchen table with tears running down his cheeks.
She asked him what the matter was and he replied:
"Do you remember when we first dated?"
"Of course I do."
"And do you remember our first kiss?"
"Certainly."
And remember when you father caught us making love in the car, pulled a gun on me and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I make sure you spend the next 30 years in prison."
"Oh yes, I remember that. But why are you crying?"
"I would have gotten out today."

[pharvey]

Ray Jessel, Class Act @84!!
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