How Do You Handle Living Here?
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How Do You Handle Living Here?
For sure I'm having a bad Thai week so far. I will not go into detailed reasons but let's just say it's amazing how much bullshit you have to listen to in an average day in this country, it seems...
I don't want to have a rant here but I would like some help to understand just how to deal with the stupid, annoying, lying and cheating people I find here?
Sure there are some nice people but there are so many ones for sure that drive you crazy too so is there a way to get the best and not have a nervous breakdown while they all sit there and just smile like there is nobody home?
Help please !!!***!!!! Constructive or otherwise... how do you get the point across it's not going to work before it doesn't, tell them they can't drive like that for long before they will die before they actually do die, manage to return some food without the Spanish inquisition, get a room booked and the booking is actually on the system, have someone not blame me for their fault, fix my car without making it worse, answer the phone between 12 and 1, find someone who can read their own language properly etc etc...
This is not meant as insulting, this is how I feel, as I am obviously not used to dealing with the ways of this country so I ask thoise who are not lobotomised as to how they manage to keep sane....
I don't want to have a rant here but I would like some help to understand just how to deal with the stupid, annoying, lying and cheating people I find here?
Sure there are some nice people but there are so many ones for sure that drive you crazy too so is there a way to get the best and not have a nervous breakdown while they all sit there and just smile like there is nobody home?
Help please !!!***!!!! Constructive or otherwise... how do you get the point across it's not going to work before it doesn't, tell them they can't drive like that for long before they will die before they actually do die, manage to return some food without the Spanish inquisition, get a room booked and the booking is actually on the system, have someone not blame me for their fault, fix my car without making it worse, answer the phone between 12 and 1, find someone who can read their own language properly etc etc...
This is not meant as insulting, this is how I feel, as I am obviously not used to dealing with the ways of this country so I ask thoise who are not lobotomised as to how they manage to keep sane....
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problems
My partner is Thai it helps I have been here 3 months she deals with the problems and she is good in here way of handling it. As for the driving you will just have to gets used to it. As the previous advice chill out and enjoy the LOS it is a wonderul place to be.
Woke up this morning breathing that's a good start to the day.
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chill out and go with the flow
remember you are not in the western world
Grab a book on Thai culture and customs
it's like a different planet
Some of us here come from Mars (Sarge where are you)
Jock 'Who invited you to come out of your box before time?'
Edwina on a serious note I'd be happy to wise you up .Pm me if so
remember you are not in the western world
Grab a book on Thai culture and customs
it's like a different planet
Some of us here come from Mars (Sarge where are you)
Jock 'Who invited you to come out of your box before time?'
Edwina on a serious note I'd be happy to wise you up .Pm me if so
RICHARD OF LOXLEY
It’s none of my business what people say and think of me. I am what I am and do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. It makes life so much easier.
It’s none of my business what people say and think of me. I am what I am and do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. It makes life so much easier.
More seriously, I think in order to live here you have to adopt the national motto "mai pen rai". Every time you get frustrated because things take longer than they should, when you see mistakes happening before they happen, when you see blatant corruption, bad driving and poor service, ask yourself:
"do I want to live here or go home"? When I ask that question I realise there are more good things about living in this country than bad.
If efficiency means a lot to you, then you either have to give up your expectations or consider giving up staying here. You are not here to change or improve things. Thats up to the Thais. Relax and observe. When things don't go the way you want them too remember the motto "mai pen rai"
"do I want to live here or go home"? When I ask that question I realise there are more good things about living in this country than bad.
If efficiency means a lot to you, then you either have to give up your expectations or consider giving up staying here. You are not here to change or improve things. Thats up to the Thais. Relax and observe. When things don't go the way you want them too remember the motto "mai pen rai"
That sentiment rings true with me also, there are a lot of things that get my goat here but there are more things that I enjoy about living here.Jockey wrote:When I ask that question I realise there are more good things about living in this country than bad.
Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? - Hunter S Thompson
more good than bad
I have to agree that the good here outweighs the bad a hundredfold. I can not think of another place that I would prefer and, as I have often said to my Thai spouse, "These are the best years of my life!"
I have no other home and there is no place to "go back to". . .not that I would want to do so. But then, I am approaching the milestone where I will have lived more years outside the US than I lived within its borders. .as an adult certainly. And the "home country" has become "a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there" kind of place.
Why? Well, the weather here perfectly suits me, the year round garden (back in Vermont I looked out at snow or mud ten months of the year) the people are beautiful and usually very kind, there are birds and fish and wildlife all around, there is the ocean and a swimming pool close at hand, there are great places to eat ( despite those restaurant horror threads) we are close enough to Bangkok for big city life to be possible every couple weeks and there are my good friends here, farang and Thai. . .thats my list of favorite things
As for driving here (topping my list of least favorite things) I have come to think of it as a kind of video game. . the kind where bad guys pop up from every corner and every bush and need to be "shot down" immediately. I just drive expecting these "pop ups" and expecting craziness . . .and it seems to help.
I have no other home and there is no place to "go back to". . .not that I would want to do so. But then, I am approaching the milestone where I will have lived more years outside the US than I lived within its borders. .as an adult certainly. And the "home country" has become "a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there" kind of place.
Why? Well, the weather here perfectly suits me, the year round garden (back in Vermont I looked out at snow or mud ten months of the year) the people are beautiful and usually very kind, there are birds and fish and wildlife all around, there is the ocean and a swimming pool close at hand, there are great places to eat ( despite those restaurant horror threads) we are close enough to Bangkok for big city life to be possible every couple weeks and there are my good friends here, farang and Thai. . .thats my list of favorite things
As for driving here (topping my list of least favorite things) I have come to think of it as a kind of video game. . the kind where bad guys pop up from every corner and every bush and need to be "shot down" immediately. I just drive expecting these "pop ups" and expecting craziness . . .and it seems to help.
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I don't know if anyone else has found similar to me, but these are my experiences of people who adapt to life in Thailand & those that don't & end up going back to their own countries. These are based on my observations of friends & acquaintances.
The ones that adapt
have often lived elsewhere in Asia before
assimilate as much as possible (ie live in an area with Thais, eat Thai food some of the time at least, maybe have a Thai partner, learn some Thai etc)
have something to do, or a routine. Whether it be golf, a job, visiting friends, Thai lessons, whatever. Something to get you up & out & give structure to your day.
Have fewer expectations of what life should be like here & more or less take it as it comes.
Learn not to stress too much about the problems that come from living here.
Don't have rose-tinted spectacles, so don't get too upset when they find life isn't always that rosy.
The ones that don't
Often shut themselves away in their 'farang ghettoes' and don't assimilate.
Have no routine & nothing positive to do, so get bored
Think (usually from holiday experiences) that everything & everyone here is wonderful, full of smiles & nothing ever goes wrong. Then the first time they get scammed (even on a small scale) or have another bad experience, they become very disillusioned.
Let the little problems mount up until it all gets too much & stressful.
Just my two penn'orth, but I'd be interested to hear if others have noted similar traits, or not.
BTW, money is also a big thing. It's always more expensive to live here than you imagine, but I was concentrating more on attitudes than finance.
The ones that adapt
have often lived elsewhere in Asia before
assimilate as much as possible (ie live in an area with Thais, eat Thai food some of the time at least, maybe have a Thai partner, learn some Thai etc)
have something to do, or a routine. Whether it be golf, a job, visiting friends, Thai lessons, whatever. Something to get you up & out & give structure to your day.
Have fewer expectations of what life should be like here & more or less take it as it comes.
Learn not to stress too much about the problems that come from living here.
Don't have rose-tinted spectacles, so don't get too upset when they find life isn't always that rosy.
The ones that don't
Often shut themselves away in their 'farang ghettoes' and don't assimilate.
Have no routine & nothing positive to do, so get bored
Think (usually from holiday experiences) that everything & everyone here is wonderful, full of smiles & nothing ever goes wrong. Then the first time they get scammed (even on a small scale) or have another bad experience, they become very disillusioned.
Let the little problems mount up until it all gets too much & stressful.
Just my two penn'orth, but I'd be interested to hear if others have noted similar traits, or not.
BTW, money is also a big thing. It's always more expensive to live here than you imagine, but I was concentrating more on attitudes than finance.
"The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?" - Jeremy Bentham, philosopher, 1748-1832
Make a dog's life better, today!
Make a dog's life better, today!
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adaptable
Dawn an excellent post one more thing I would add is be adaptable you are living in a different country adapt to their way of life here smile and relax
Also avoid things like the b****y stinging insect just flew round my computer.
Also avoid things like the b****y stinging insect just flew round my computer.
Woke up this morning breathing that's a good start to the day.
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I'll never forget being told by friends, when I first came here 10 years ago, that if I got through the first two, I'd probably make the finishing line.
Those are the "difficult" years.
Also bear in mind (all the time) that Thais generally don't like to accept the responsibility that may go with their errors and in so doing lose face. The only person who will lose face, if you're in a situation, is the farang.
And you'll burst a blood vessel doing so as well
Those are the "difficult" years.
Also bear in mind (all the time) that Thais generally don't like to accept the responsibility that may go with their errors and in so doing lose face. The only person who will lose face, if you're in a situation, is the farang.
And you'll burst a blood vessel doing so as well