nice girl

[cashncarry]

Hi its my first post
Was i HH a few weeks ago loved every minute and def coming back.
Went with Mrs and you guessed it met a girl.
No, she was not a Bar girl she worked in a "respectable bar" and during my time there we got a little closer everyday(no nothing happened only a goodbye kiss) honest!!.
We exchanged pictures and i gave her my email address,although she had never been on a PC before she has emailed me about 10 times from an Internet cafe.
She now says she loves me (do they all say that?) and is going to wait for me,next year when i go back.
She comes from the North East and yes her husband was a "bad man" she has 2 kids.Have you heard that one before?

I am not sure what to do now,do i just forget her,i could "wangle a trip over on my own next year.
But at the moment i cant get her out of my head.
Any of you had a simlar situation.
Do i just give it all up and join the expats out in HH i could go for that.
Thanks

[dr dave soul monsta]

Welcome aboard

Be prepared for a barrage of different responses to your post
I think you know most of the answers already deep down in side
Be careful

[Wanderlust]

cashncarry - a few questions for you. Have you been to Thailand before? Do you want to break up with your 'Mrs'? Has the girl in question asked for any money? When you say 'respectable bar', without naming it, what do you mean? Does she speak and/or write good English? Can you speak Thai? How do you know she has never used the internet before? The answers to these will be a good pointer as to the advice you should take, but without knowing them I would say that the chances are you will be in for a rollercoater ride if you decide to pursue a relationship with her. Having said that you might be missing out on something fantastic but the odds are against it. As dr dave says, be very careful.

[Oe]

If some one tell me the word LOVEd i will not believe if that person only see me for a week or two also i will be happy to get those e and very wondering how can she says that and how can she wrote me 10 e in the weeks time or YOU MIGHT BE VERY HANDSOME GUY then?
Just think about it-but its good to have a question for that and i am sure you know what the answer are.

_______________________________________
A Vietnamese who is loved The Classic Vehicles

[buksida]

Firstly we're all a but cynical here so take everything with a pinch of salt. Also have a read of this: http://www.huahinafterdark.com/hua-hin-girls.htm major generalisations I know but there is some truth in there.

No, she was not a Bar girl she worked in a "respectable bar"

Now on to your bits ... what does the above mean? Whats the difference and how can you tell what is a "respectable bar"?

although she had never been on a PC before she has emailed me about 10 times from an Internet cafe.

Pretty fast learner this girl.

She now says she loves me (do they all say that?) and is going to wait for me,next year when i go back.

They don't all say that if they know what the word means.

She comes from the North East and yes her husband was a "bad man" she has 2 kids.Have you heard that one before?

Yes, hundreds of times, its a standard line.

But at the moment i cant get her out of my head.

It happens to the best of us. I'd suggest having a long hard think about it when you get back home and don't pay too much attention to cynical old bastards like me! Oh and try and spare a thought for your Mrs.

[VincentD]

Go read the submissions on the stickmanbangkok.com website.

It's always tempting to think of a 'solo' holiday; it may well turn into your worst nightmare.

You'll also be verrry worried if you could understand what they're really saying if they think you can't understand a word...

One I met in HH was a veteran of Orchard Towers in $ingapore; when she found out I was married, she dropped the 'love' bit and started on the 'quick roll' bit. She later found her man for the night, but we continued chatting; she was really looking for a 'sponsor' to help her stay longer than the standard two weeks visa in $ingapore as she'd make at least three times the amount she'd get in HH per night...

The bars have a fairly high turnover, she's probably not going to be around when you're next up, or if you do surprise her with an unannounced visit, she may not recognise you at all .

You've just got a mild infection. Many guys who've experienced the Pattaya scene don't even want to get on the plane going home.

[JW]

There are exceptions to the rules, some of the posters here are very happy with their thai wives and girlfriends, but i bet nearly all have had an experience similar to yours and been burnt. I agree fully with whoever advised to spare a thought for your other half. Shaggin great looking fit bodied oriental girls isnt everything you know! GOD WHAT I AM TALKIN ABOUT!!

[cashncarry]

Thanks for all the advice.
Yes i have been to Thailand before,so i knew the score.
Her English is passable but i do believe when she says she has not been on the internet before.
She did not and has not asked for money i would not have given her any.
The bar was not a "pick up joint " i spent most of my 10 days there thats why i went there in the first place, i was with the Mrs ,the girls were not dressed like in the other bars( i went into a few of the other types of bars).
So thanks anyway im not going to do anything for about 6 months as i have a trip to Aus at Christmas via Malaysia so once thats out the way i will see how i feel in Mar/Apr.
She knows i have a wife(she met her when we was there) and i have explained everything to her.
And no ive not forgotten the Mrs we have had our ups and downs,i also have kids and a grandchild in the UK.
So thanks again i will not do anything to hasty.
Whatever happens i will be back in HH loved it there.
Great site by the way and its the first time ive posted on any site

[rosso]

hello

Do you let us know the name of this "respectable" bar ?
Just wondering which bar it is ?

regards
Rosso
another week to wait for HH

[Guess]

Sorry cash, I could speak volumes but I think Deidre Wanderlust and Buksi have just about covered it.

If I spoke my mind I would be red carded.

Give it a miss.

[Bamboo Grove]

I would also like to know the name of that respectable bar, just for the records, if you don't mind.

[cashncarry]

I would rather keep the name of the bar to myself to protect her.
But yes im at that funny age (47 going on 48) when if i pretty young girl smiles at you it does wonders for your ego and self esteem.
It even happened to me in Bangkok from a couple of girls working in a Hairdressers.I Know they may be after your money.
The first thing i noticed when back in the UK was the girls are so miserable.
Or is that just my age again.
Anyway thanks again for advice will not do anything hasty.

[Bamboo Grove]

Well, to be honest, that's the sad part of the story to me. You claim one place to be respectable, but don't name it and let us think that all the other's aren't. Yes, it happens quite often here in Thailand when people say "Oh, but she's different." To be honest I can't tell what's a respectable bar and what's not and the same goes for people whether local or foreigners. That's why I'd like you to name it. But if you won't/can't well, then it probably wasn't anyway. However, I wish you all the best with your newfound adventure.

[Heebio]

It even happened to me in Bangkok from a couple of girls working in a Hairdressers.

Some of the hairdressers or barbers in BKK ain't always what they seem.

To be fair you maybe on to a winner....maybe. I agree 100% with what the guys have been saying, you really gotta work out what you want from this then set yourself realistic expectations. You have to be careful.

The PC thing's easily explainable. Some of the internet cafes employ translators - she just needs to write something up in Thai and, for a small fee, the translator sends it to you in English. Not been unheard of for the translator to write the whole damn thing themselves, but I doubt that in this case, given your circumstances.

And yup, she may think she's in love. But it's not the kind of love you or I are accustomed to. You could fill ten rai with the stuff that's been written on this subject - I would recommend you check out some of the other Thai forums.

Can I bore you with a rather strange encounter I had in HH.

A couple of years ago I met a manageress from a very respectable local massage shop. Only...I met her in Nice and Easy, which ain't so respectable. She was there with one of the girls from the shop just looking for a good night out I guess....think she was mates with Ying the owner. Anyway, we had a nice night and a few beers, all very above board. We exchanged numbers and went out a couple of times over the next few days, again all very good fun, but very plutonic.

I found out just how respectable she was when I visited the shop. She was there looking after customers and telling the girls who was doing what. She arranged for me to have a very relaxing aromatic oil massage in one of the very nicely decked out rooms upstairs. The facilities were great and very professional. And no funny business with the massage. Felt a million satang afterwards. On the house as well, which was a nice touch.

I then disappeared over to Angkor Wat for a few days. Was gone a week, including a couple of nights in BKK before and after. I'd hardly reached the hotel in BKK when the texts started flying. She was telling me how much she loved me and writing poems. I was touched, but a little bemused...it was all very odd. This continued for a couple of days until I reached the haven of Cambodian network coverage....peace at last. Got back into BKK after the trip and it started again...buckin incessant. I stopped replying but they still kept coming. I'd kinda worked out by now that she was either desperate, severely miopic....or feckin bababobo.

But maybe it was just her way of reminding me she was still there. I dunno. There lies the puzzle.

When I got back into town we spent a very fun filled night in the less than respectable Sukwilai guesthouse in Soi Bintabaht. She was gone in the morning and being the arse that I am I promptly changed my SIM and never saw her again. Seemed to me we were even.

She was not a working girl. She knew I was on alcoholiday. So why the texts, why the nonsense? I'm still trying to work that out....well, I couldn't care less, but that's the story.

All I'm saying is your girl maybe genuine....but you better get her translator to explain it to you in terms you can understand. Hopefully you can then make up your mind.

All the best.

Heeb.

[johnnyk]

20K baht a month should sort it out nicely.