Be warned, I may be just a wee bit drunk...
I had (note the past tense) few remaining teeth due to: poor dental hygiene as a child, boarding school, a Polish dentist in Bexhill who I'm convinced was a Nazi war criminal, rugby, chemotherapy, a clumsy anaesthist, and radiotherapy (in that order).
This afternoon my dentist informed me that he was about to remove my remaining gnashers. This was, of course, compounded by the need to retain my dentures for 2 days to fill in the gaps. To add insult to injury, he welcomed me into his surgery by calling me 'young man'. I accepted this once, gritted my teeth - correction, gums - the second time, but on the third occasion I told him, as politely as possible, that this was both condescending and guaranteed to make me feel old. I said (with a lisp...) that I was sure that he meant no offence (and with a supreme effort of will managed to avoid the use of such words as wanker, tosser and arsehole), and suggested that he think carefully about using such terms to his more mature clients in future. (I may be an NHS patient, but I paid £65 for a check-up and the extractions, and will undoubtedly have substantially more to pay when I get my adjusted denture back). I believe the dental nurse was concealing a grin and a chuckle behind her mask...
He took it well, though he didn't quite sink to his knees and beg forgiveness as I'd hoped.
He also said I should avoid alcohol for the rest of the day. Feck that for a game of soldiers...
