Problems with Thai girlfriends

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buksida
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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by buksida » Fri Mar 04, 2016 1:34 pm

HHTel wrote: We are not invited, not welcomed (by the authorities not the general public) and certainly not treated as guests. Yes, we choose to live here which is far different from being invited. To live here we have to jump through various hoops as most people know. We contribute to the Thai economy and are looked on as a necessary evil. We have to report every 90 days as if we are on parole. The powers that be can eject any one of us on a whim! There's a saying 'When in Rome do as the Romans do'. As a foreigner try doing as the Thais do and see what happens. We are allowed to stay under sufferance providing we abide by the rules which cover dual-pricing, cash handouts and many other discriminatory rules. Hotels have 'paying guests'. We are more of a paying tenant with a temporary lease. Break the conditions of your lease and you're out! In the UK, for example, after 4 years stay, you are invited to apply for British citizenship along with a British passport.

Would you treat your guests in such a way?
:agree: :clap: spot on ... quote of the day!
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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by J.J.B. » Fri Mar 04, 2016 1:50 pm

Getting back to the topic, odd though it may be, I'm missing the part about how the OP feels about his girlfriend. What emotions does he exhibit after 8 long years with his girlfriend? I guess the main question that's unanswered is "why stay"?
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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by Siani » Fri Mar 04, 2016 6:40 pm

Maybe another topic should be started about "Guests in Thailand" ? Personally I think it is the wrong wording for it. When I moved to Thailand for the 3 months I lived there, I did not feel like a guest. I tried to make Thai friends, but found it impossible. However, when I had a house in a village in France my neighbours, French, were very welcoming indeed.
I really dislike the expression "Grateful guest"....why is it used so much? Maybe paying tenant would be a more suitable term?

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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by oakdale160 » Sat Mar 05, 2016 6:32 pm

It is typical for an abused spouse to feel that somehow they deserve to be abused and that they are worthless. It is also typical for them to feel that they have no options.
You need to plan your departure, you need a friend or friends to be with you at the chosen time to give you strength of numbers and help with the physically moving your stuff. Start planning TODAY>

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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by aragon » Sun Mar 06, 2016 9:12 am

buksida wrote:
HHTel wrote: We are not invited, not welcomed (by the authorities not the general public) and certainly not treated as guests. Yes, we choose to live here which is far different from being invited. To live here we have to jump through various hoops as most people know. We contribute to the Thai economy and are looked on as a necessary evil. We have to report every 90 days as if we are on parole. The powers that be can eject any one of us on a whim! There's a saying 'When in Rome do as the Romans do'. As a foreigner try doing as the Thais do and see what happens. We are allowed to stay under sufferance providing we abide by the rules which cover dual-pricing, cash handouts and many other discriminatory rules. Hotels have 'paying guests'. We are more of a paying tenant with a temporary lease. Break the conditions of your lease and you're out! In the UK, for example, after 4 years stay, you are invited to apply for British citizenship along with a British passport.

Would you treat your guests in such a way?
:agree: :clap: spot on ... quote of the day!
Second that, absolutely right on the money and in LOS the money is what counts.

As to the rest of this thread, it surely has to be a total wind up, no one lives like that FFS :neener: :neener:
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” Sir Winston Churchill

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by Name Taken » Sun Mar 06, 2016 1:09 pm

oakdale160 wrote:It is typical for an abused spouse to feel that somehow they deserve to be abused and that they are worthless. It is also typical for them to feel that they have no options.
You need to plan your departure, you need a friend or friends to be with you at the chosen time to give you strength of numbers and help with the physically moving your stuff. Start planning TODAY>
:agree:
Yep, that's what I'm trying to do and in the process of doing.
Thank for the advice and replies everyone. :)

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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by Khundon1975 » Sun Mar 06, 2016 10:20 pm

If my wife would allow me a Thai girlfriend, I could contribute to this thread, but as she won't, I can't.

:run:
I've lost my mind and I am making no effort to find it.

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Re: Oh my Gosh

Post by Khundon1975 » Sun Mar 06, 2016 10:32 pm

Name Taken wrote:
REEM wrote:
Dump her, and move on. There are plenty of good ones out there.
She doesnt sound like the sort of girl that can be dumped easily, it would mean a serious loss of face for her.

I fear for your safety.

You better hope she doesnt have any "brothers" or "cousins" who know your address.
She has never threatened to harm me in anyway, and we rarely have an argument. I'm really not worried about my [b]personal safety because I know she would not try to hurt me if I left her[/b]. It's an unusual situation that I don't have any experience dealing with before and it's the emotional attachment that I have with her.
You didn't know she was going to lock you up, or sleep on the edge of the bed either.

If you want rid of her, the next time she is on top (jiggy jiggy) then tell her she is not as good as her sister.
That should do the trick. :twisted:
I've lost my mind and I am making no effort to find it.

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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by layalshafee » Sun May 15, 2016 11:42 pm

Problems with Thai boyfriends:

He won't take me to rent a scooter, I have to ask before I go anywhere (but not like i could because I have no wheels/no contacts), he cheats on me with a thai girl then expects to be allowed to have two girlfriends
I feel like someones pet

I've come to this conclusion:
Don't date Thai. Don't do it.

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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by redzonerocker » Mon May 16, 2016 4:39 am

aragon wrote:
Second that, absolutely right on the money and in LOS the money is what counts.
An unfortunately accurate assessment. :(

The LOS title is sadly losing it's shine too.
As to the rest of this thread, it surely has to be a total wind up, no one lives like that FFS :neener: :neener:
Could be, but I think you'd be surprised as to how many do live like that, though maybe not quite to that extreme.
Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by aragon » Mon May 16, 2016 10:14 am

redzonerocker wrote:
As to the rest of this thread, it surely has to be a total wind up, no one lives like that FFS :neener: :neener:
Could be, but I think you'd be surprised as to how many do live like that, though maybe not quite to that extreme.
You may well have a point rzr. Maybe it's cultural bias on my part, but one gets so used to reading/hearing about male spousal/partner abuse in the West, that when it is presented as something being perpetrated by the female, particularly in an Asian context, it just doesn't ring true, but who really knows.
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” Sir Winston Churchill

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by Name Taken » Sat Aug 27, 2016 3:28 pm

aragon wrote:
buksida wrote:
HHTel wrote: We are not invited, not welcomed (by the authorities not the general public) and certainly not treated as guests. Yes, we choose to live here which is far different from being invited. To live here we have to jump through various hoops as most people know. We contribute to the Thai economy and are looked on as a necessary evil. We have to report every 90 days as if we are on parole. The powers that be can eject any one of us on a whim! There's a saying 'When in Rome do as the Romans do'. As a foreigner try doing as the Thais do and see what happens. We are allowed to stay under sufferance providing we abide by the rules which cover dual-pricing, cash handouts and many other discriminatory rules. Hotels have 'paying guests'. We are more of a paying tenant with a temporary lease. Break the conditions of your lease and you're out! In the UK, for example, after 4 years stay, you are invited to apply for British citizenship along with a British passport.

Would you treat your guests in such a way?
:agree: :clap: spot on ... quote of the day!
Second that, absolutely right on the money and in LOS the money is what counts.

As to the rest of this thread, it surely has to be a total wind up, no one lives like that FFS :neener: :neener:
No, this thread is not a 'wind up'.
It seems to me that 99% of the foreigners in Thailand are either walking ATM machines or a Circus attraction to be kept in a cage or oogled at when out in public because of our white skin and round eyes.
Congratulations to the 1% of foreigners that have a Thai wife/girlfriend that speaks perfect English and has a Ph.D. from Harvard. :roll:
Nothing changes, same old shit different day.

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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by oakdale160 » Sat Aug 27, 2016 7:18 pm

Recently I talked to two farang ladies about their life here. One of their problems is that after several years here they have Thai acquaintences but NO thai friends. This is more important to women than to men. One of them has worked hard at learning to speak Thai and although not fluent can manage quite well in Thai, but this has not led to any closer relationships with Thai ladies. They are both spending more and more time back home and would like to leave.

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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by StuartandFon » Sun Aug 28, 2016 11:07 am

I think this works both ways. My wife is fluent in English and keen to make friends with Western ladies, but group conversation tends to centre around culturally specific topics, like politics, food, old movies, growing up in the UK etc. All of which is completely understandable, but all of which leaves my wife feeling excluded. As a lone Thai lady in the group she is brought in to the conversation for questions about translations or why do Thai people do this or that questions.
None of this is anybodys fault, but it does mean conversations are always 'surface' and although fine in social situations, not deep enough to make new friendships.
At the times when she is not the sole Thai lady the group effectively split in two.
Personally I think if the Thai lady has not lived in the UK for a substantial part of her life it is very difficult to make friends with a lady from the UK.

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Re: Problems with Thai girlfriends

Post by RCer » Sun Aug 28, 2016 2:28 pm

StuartandFon wrote:I think this works both ways. My wife is fluent in English and keen to make friends with Western ladies, but group conversation tends to centre around culturally specific topics, like politics, food, old movies, growing up in the UK etc. All of which is completely understandable, but all of which leaves my wife feeling excluded. As a lone Thai lady in the group she is brought in to the conversation for questions about translations or why do Thai people do this or that questions.
None of this is anybodys fault, but it does mean conversations are always 'surface' and although fine in social situations, not deep enough to make new friendships.
At the times when she is not the sole Thai lady the group effectively split in two.
Personally I think if the Thai lady has not lived in the UK for a substantial part of her life it is very difficult to make friends with a lady from the UK.
The best comment I've seen on Thai - Farang friendships.

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