Should I believe her?

[Bamboo Grove]

One thing I've been wondering for a long time. Why do the westerners expect their partners to be more fluent in English or whatever is their own language than the westerners are in Thai, while living in Thailand?

[GLCQuantum]

One thing I've been wondering for a long time. Why do the westerners expect their partners to be more fluent in English or whatever is their own language than the westerners are in Thai, while living in Thailand?

Could be due to the fact that English is the international language. Westerners never expect their Thai counterpart to speak Swedish or German, sure.

English is the International language (be that a good thing or be it not) so get off your ass and learn it if you haven't already.

Mandarin aint going to be the international language for a good few centuries yet.

[Bamboo Grove]

I agree to a certain extent but if you want to live in any given country, why not learn the language of the country, rather than expect others learn yours?

[JuiceLover]

You are right, essential to learn the local language but start with their "second" language whether English, French, Dutch until you get the hang of the local, like a three stage rocket.

[VincentD]

Since you asked so politely, I'm more than happy to clarify.

While most of the post could ring true for some/many bar girls, I find it both naive and offensive to tar all with the same brush. The post was given with a 'matter of fact' view when it really just depends on the girl that you meet. I know many people who have met a lady from the bar and have gone on to have a nice relationship and marriage.

Terms like 'Thai women typically...' followed with "I know a mamasan in Bangkok who ..." annoy me a little - it's such a wild accusation to assume that one knows what a Thai women (or any women for that matter) is thinking.

Vincent D is Asian though - which means that he knows best (there we are... another generalisation)

Thank you GLC.

It was to be taken with a rather large pinch of salt... and I did hesitate a little before jumping in...
The 'typically' was inserted there because I find the women here don't have to be half drunk before even considering 'doing the deed'. They enjoy it too and there is little or no sense of entitlement that comes with letting you jump into the sack. Do note that she could be *different*, but then again the difference tends to be in the eye of the beholder and the odds are typically stacked against it. No disrespect, it was not aimed at the average girl in the street. I treat respect with respect, this includes the bargirls. They can be fun to be with.
The mamasan in question is a good friend (as are the girls) and we go back to when a few pilot friends had got together and shared in the running of a bar in the Plaza. Those days are gone, but whenever my brother used to come on his own, they would have been his safe haven and I would be called if anything did go pear-shaped. He was also trusted with the girls because of 'Pi Chai' (big brother)

I don't go often as 'drinks for friends' can get expensive. They are after all scroungers at heart

And no, I don't know best just because of where I come from. Just a hopefully more rounded view of the world and a mix of both Asian and Western values.

Hopefully we'll have a bit of a chinwag next time I'm in Hua Hin for a few days. Last time was a day trip and only managed a quick beer at the place of the Usual Suspect.

[Bamsen]

One thing I've been wondering for a long time. Why do the westerners expect their partners to be more fluent in English or whatever is their own language than the westerners are in Thai, while living in Thailand?

To expect the partner to speak English is understandable and also agree on other languages if the westeners take their partners to live in their countries which English is not official language.

My concern is about the couple in general not about poor english or unskillful. How could they get connection both mind n sould...lol., when they cannot communicate to each other well enough. In my opinion, it is hard to believe that a couple like that could have a wonderful marriage.

[christopher1]

So, some poor (rich)old guy is supporting her in Huahin and you're thinking of ...


Walk away!

[oakdale160]

It is amazing, I have 2 sets of neighbors. Western man from non-english speaking countres and Thai wife, not young girls but mature ladies in their 40s. The common language is English, but neither of them speak it with any fluency. Guess they could not have a big fight, neither's English is good enough for that.

[Name Taken]

One thing I've been wondering for a long time. Why do the westerners expect their partners to be more fluent in English or whatever is their own language than the westerners are in Thai, while living in Thailand?

Could be due to the fact that English is the international language. Westerners never expect their Thai counterpart to speak Swedish or German, sure.

English is the International language (be that a good thing or be it not) so get off your ass and learn it if you haven't already.

Mandarin aint going to be the international language for a good few centuries yet.

[StevePIraq]

A bit off topic however as far as speaking English the following is my position.

Thailand as a country and most Thais are inward looking, care and know next to nothing about the rest of the world. English is not a compulsory language here, even though Thailand is now in ASEAN at the last joint meeting it was reported Thailand turned up with NO English speakers even though the language of the conference was English.

Should Thai's learn English, well if they wish to do business with English speaking people or companies I would say it is a pre requisite, if they only deal with Thai's then why bother. There are numerous restaurants in town which only cater to Farangs yet no staff speak any English, will they survive who knows, I hope not.

My wife taught herself to speak English as she wanted a relationship with me, no tapes or books just a dictionary. I have tried books, CD's, and classes and can only say a minimal in Thai, I just can't get it.
I have two step daughter's, both have been taught English for 8 years, they refuse to speak it. Both studied international hotel management, can they get a job with any of the big International hotels, no chance, so in the long term they loose out but do they care, not at all.

[seveneleven]

I started learning Thai and studied daily. I can speak and understand a fair amount.
But it dawned on me that no matter how much I learn, that everywhere I go I am still treated as though I speak nothing.
In general life situations, like shopping, getting petrol, coffee, dinner - most of the time all questions are directed to the lady as the intermediary translator.
So I fairly well gave up speaking and learning any more of the language last year.
As long as I can count and know how to ask for things I want and where things are, that is enough for me.

[Name Taken]

A bit off topic however as far as speaking English the following is my position.

Thailand as a country and most Thais are inward looking, care and know next to nothing about the rest of the world. English is not a compulsory language here, even though Thailand is now in ASEAN at the last joint meeting it was reported Thailand turned up with NO English speakers even though the language of the conference was English.

Should Thai's learn English, well if they wish to do business with English speaking people or companies I would say it is a pre requisite, if they only deal with Thai's then why bother. There are numerous restaurants in town which only cater to Farangs yet no staff speak any English, will they survive who knows, I hope not.

My wife taught herself to speak English as she wanted a relationship with me, no tapes or books just a dictionary. I have tried books, CD's, and classes and can only say a minimal in Thai, I just can't get it.
I have two step daughter's, both have been taught English for 8 years, they refuse to speak it. Both studied international hotel management, can they get a job with any of the big International hotels, no chance, so in the long term they loose out but do they care, not at all.

I think the vast majority of Thais could care less about learning English because it's a pride/identity thing for them. Thai people take a lot of pride in their Country and their identity(Thainess) and I think that's a good thing because there are a lot of countries in the world that are not admirable.
I'm in the same boat as you Steve when it comes to learning to speak Thai, I just can not get a really good grasp on the Thai language.

[Bamsen]

hahaha I experienced the same and almost gave up..When I tried to speak Thai to Thai people, they were skeptic and didnt know what I said. I think when they was looking forward to hear English from me not Thai though.

Actually this language and communication topic is interesting, I should write in a new topic instead of mixing it up with this original one.

[seveneleven]

Often one has to repeat oneself to clearly make it certain the farang is speaking Thai and not confused.

[ExpatJohn]

A bit off topic however as far as speaking English the following is my position.

Thailand as a country and most Thais are inward looking, care and know next to nothing about the rest of the world. English is not a compulsory language here, even though Thailand is now in ASEAN at the last joint meeting it was reported Thailand turned up with NO English speakers even though the language of the conference was English.

Should Thai's learn English, well if they wish to do business with English speaking people or companies I would say it is a pre requisite, if they only deal with Thai's then why bother. There are numerous restaurants in town which only cater to Farangs yet no staff speak any English, will they survive who knows, I hope not.

My wife taught herself to speak English as she wanted a relationship with me, no tapes or books just a dictionary. I have tried books, CD's, and classes and can only say a minimal in Thai, I just can't get it.
I have two step daughter's, both have been taught English for 8 years, they refuse to speak it. Both studied international hotel management, can they get a job with any of the big International hotels, no chance, so in the long term they loose out but do they care, not at all.

I think the vast majority of Thais could care less about learning English because it's a pride/identity thing for them. Thai people take a lot of pride in their Country and their identity(Thainess) and I think that's a good thing because there are a lot of countries in the world that are not admirable.
I'm in the same boat as you Steve when it comes to learning to speak Thai, I just can not get a really good grasp on the Thai language.

That's a pet peeve of mine. I know my Thai is passable not great but passable and to some when I speak Thai they look at me blankly like they do not understand. I do like to practice my Thai but some Thai almost look down on me and my attempts making me feel foolish for even trying. And that's just the basic hello and how are you. Its frustrating to say the least. I know its maybe a surprise to them and they do not want to try English but just some thing I have noted. Jai yen