Family pressures on thai wives of farang

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Khundon1975
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Re: Family pressures on thai wives of farang

Post by Khundon1975 »

I can only speak as I find, where my wife and in laws are concerned.

My wife is very well educated, both in Thailand and here in UK universities, her parents have money and so does she.
She has never been pressured to do as they say, in fact, it is quite the opposite.
It is she who decides where in the World she lives and her parents are more than happy with that arrangement. They realize that she has her own family now and it is her choice where and when to spend her time.
As it happens, we enjoying going to Thailand to be with them and they spend lots of time in the UK and other countries with us but there is never any pressure from them to move back to Thailand full time.
Both our families have become very close over the 15 years we have been together and there has never been a day that we have argued over decisions that we have made, as to how and where we live.

I would happily live with my in laws as they are so much fun to be with and when we are all together it is a sad day when we have to part.

It is not always the case that Thai parents pressure their children, not the intelligent ones anyway.

If it applies to you, then you have made the wrong choice. Simple as that.
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TingTongJohn
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Re: Family pressures on thai wives of farang

Post by TingTongJohn »

My Ex wife who had a degree had huge pressure from her Family in Bangkok to send money and provide for them and this was always a huge issue. Did not matter even when we had kids. She always felt we had had to keep care of our girls and her Thai Family at the same time even it was a hardship on her own childern because we just could not afford to do both really.
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Re: Family pressures on thai wives of farang

Post by oakdale160 »

Yes with the bright intelligent, particularly foreign educated Thai ladies the rules are different. I know 2 lady dentists, both separated, both with a child, in their case they totally control their parents who "work' as housekeeper/nanny and driver/odd job man for the two of them.
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Re: Family pressures on thai wives of farang

Post by BOZ »

My wife is Thai educated, has lived with me in the USA with zero pressure from here family to live in Thailand.. We made the decision to move there when I got the opportunity to retire early and be able to live well in Thailand on our funds... Her family are awesome to be around and enjoy spending time with them when we are together... They are in BKK and we will be in Hua Hin a decent distance apart but close enough to visit when the urge arises... Again zero pressure... Looking forward to being in country as a retiree and enjoying the family as we relax and live our life's...
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Re: Family pressures on thai wives of farang

Post by migrant »

My wife, about once a year, will get a request from one family member, or the other, for a small amount maybe $100 max, usually when school starts for items for the kids which she usually will send. She made it clear early to them that she worked hard for her money, from both jobs, and while she can help, a little, she was not an ATM. When we go to Thailand she will give out $100 to each sibling, but that's it. Never had requests, pressure, or even begging for more. Maybe setting the rules early helped
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Re: Family pressures on thai wives of farang

Post by hhfarang »

I support my mother in law by choice and she lives very frugally and appreciates everything I do for her. Other than that, there has been the occasional illness, accident, or brush with the law where I was asked to help and a couple of those have been pretty expensive, but no matter who you are married to (Thai or not) I would expect the family would come to you for help in emergencies if they were relatively poor and you were relatively rich (by their standards). My American brother and sister in law received a lot of help from my parents (when they were alive) and my sister in law even came to me for money to bail her out of some trouble one time. The request came with another request that I not tell my brother about the "loan" so I declined.
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Re: Family pressures on thai wives of farang

Post by Coldmike »

My situation is similar to HHF's, but there can still be issues. Family is pretty much not a problem, but we have several 'mixed' marriage friends and there does seem to be a 'keeping up with the Jones's' feeling by many of them. My wife gets a bit caught up in that and I find myself paying for things I wouldn't normally do. I suppose it isn't much worse than most marriages, but the "face" pressure of being an upscale Thai can be a real headache sometimes.
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