Do you get that look(Dirty sexpat )?

[TingTongJohn]

I try to shrug it off but I find a number of times I get that look(You know the one?) A look of distain from from certain tourists. Mostly younger female who look at me like i am in Thailand on a sex tour or such. They do not even know me but assume(yes the dreaded word) Just because I am older and not the the fittest in the world(O.k Shoot me i like to eat) That look or glance that i MUST BE a wait for it..SOME PERVERTED SEXPAT..sigh...Its better now that I go out in public with my wife(The young thing that she is at 35 years of age and our two lovely daughters) Where on before if I was out just with my wife a lot of looks and sad shakes of the head or so I assumed were for her on being with me. I still feel that way sometimes when I am off mucking about alone.Maybe I am paranoid.. What say you fine members of Hua Hin Forum? Is it just me???

[sateeb]

Look 'em straight in the eye and smile,safe in the knowledge that you know who and what you are.No need to get angry or frustrated by those dimwits who will be back at home after their 2 weeks here, returning to their dreary,boring and mundane existence.

[MrPlum]

Taking the youngster to the beach, on my own, can draw that 'look'. She's 10 and dark-skinned with a smile that can melt stone. I'm in my.. cough.. cough.. late 20's... and to some tourists Gary Glitter's pal. You see the looks of concern relax, when we play on the beach just like any other family.

I don't think you can do much about Thailand's reputation abroad. I've looked at some expats myself and wondered.

When people stop caring, it is time to worry.

[Mrock]

Look 'em straight in the eye and smile,safe in the knowledge that you know who and what you are.No need to get angry or frustrated by those dimwits who will be back at home after their 2 weeks here, returning to their dreary,boring and mundane existence.

I agree!!
Seen it many times. I'm 41 the wife is 37. The deadbeats that give you the look wish they looked that good at 37.

[Coldmike]

I kinda agree with the preconceived notions and dirty looks (not to you TTJohn). The old fat 'sex tourists' with cute young bar girls is not very attactive in any eyes except the 'lucky' guys. The looks should be expected to all of us with Thai gigs/wives especially if they're younger. The look will always be there, just tolerate it, understand why it's there, and you'll learn to live with it/ignore it. It doesn't bother me at all now.

[hhfarang]

I've gotten those looks before as my wife is 21 years my junior but you can see the looks change when/if they notice the diamond wedding ring she's wearing (and the band I wear); so I think it's ok (in their eyes) if you're serious enough to get married to the woman.

[advocate]

My wife is 37, slim and very attractive. I'm 50, but am very fit and like to think I look younger. My wife could easily pass for a lady in her early 20's and I think that may be the reson for some of the dirty looks we have had.

Mind you, I have only had such looks from unattractive, overweight, western women, who would have difficulty getting a man in any country. I think they are just jealous and vindictive.

I once confronted a group of 5 of them in a Bangkok restaurant, as I was growing tired of their dirty looks and their disparaging gossip, which we could hear clearly. They were loud and obnoxious. I asked what their problem was. They replied I had no business dating a teenage girl. They were shocked and embarrased when I told them we were married with a young son and my wife was the same age as them.

[JAFO]

In the end it should not matter, of course however, easier said then done. I never think about it but seldom do we get stared at or maybe I am not paying attention. I think a lot has to do with how you carry yourself. But I know there are many factors that drive this personal internal question. there are lots of western stigma's.

I do my absolute best not to judge but I admit I cringe sometimes. Everyone has there own acceptance threshold. I think its healthy as long as you keep it to yourself. Even my Thai GF will whisper sometimes when she sees something extreme. The stares are what you sign up for when you look like a heavily mismatched couple or you fall into the stereotype window. Sadly there is so much negative press about it that tourists visit and bracket everybody in it. I personally however do not buy the "They are just jealous" line. I think its their threshold. I understand and try not to judge them either. I have seen some men in their late 50's, maybe even early 60's with what appear to be a teenager or early 20's women. They question why people might stare?...Hmmmmm.

We should keep in mind too that our Thai gal lives with some scrutiny as well. They are immediately looked at as bar girls done good. I find that really the saddest part. My GF is the furthest from a bar girl and in fact does not drink. I am more offended that people might think that then what they think of me. She does not deserve that. Its really not as easy having a relationship here as one might think.

MrPlum said we should worry if they DO NOT question it...I agree. Then it has slipped into acceptance and there will be men who will exploit it. Nature of the beast. Sadly its why a lot of them are here.

Live your life and worry not what others think.

[dtaai-maai]

I'm 50, but am very fit and like to think I look younger.

I'm with advocate on this one. People look admiringly at us (yes, Mrs D-M gets the occasional glance too) in public and have often remarked to my wife how lucky she was to land such a distinguished-looking chap.

[JAFO]

My wife is 37, slim and very attractive. I'm 50, but am very fit and like to think I look younger. My wife could easily pass for a lady in her early 20's and I think that may be the reson for some of the dirty looks we have had.

Mind you, I have only had such looks from unattractive, overweight, western women, who would have difficulty getting a man in any country. I think they are just jealous and vindictive.

I am same boat as you Advocate, I just turned 51 and my GF is 39. We are both fit and about the same height. She is tall 5'5ish flat footed, I am 5'7. She is very light skinned as well. I think she looks very early 30's but dresses nice virtually all the time. This is good as it keeps me on my toes. No Camo shorts and Chang/Singha Tank tops in public for me(Actually do not even own a tank top or any beer logo shirts or Camo shorts for that matter HaHa). I mean I get the comfort part but why go out in public with your gal looking like a slob for cryin out loud.

As I mentioned in previous post a lot is how you and your missus carry themselves when out. I seldom see western women staring at us. However I am never looking at them as I have no interest in western women young or old. I do see western men looking at her. Of course we act like clowns when together and constantly joke so we are laughing quite a bit.

[Nereus]

I'm 50, but am very fit and like to think I look younger.

I'm with advocate on this one. People look admiringly at us (yes, Mrs D-M gets the occasional glance too) in public and have often remarked to my wife how lucky she was to land such a distinguished-looking chap.

Maybe you had better learn some more Thai, hansum man, then you will know exactly what they are saying!

[sateeb]

advocate


Mind you, I have only had such looks from unattractive, overweight, western women, who would have difficulty getting a man in any country. I think they are just jealous and vindictive.



Very true Advocate,and usually the husbands/boyfriends of these women have left them for a newer model sometime in their life....hence the hostile looks.

[bcrglobal]

Worst one we had was entering the US in Denver on a flight from Germany. My wife was on a tourist visa at the time, but we went through the Citizens and Immigrants line together (As families have the right to do in the US)

Nasty fugly b!tch behind the counter processed my passport, stamped it, returned it, and then said "So, this is your wife? Where'd you buy her? I mean meet her?" God I was angry, but there is NOTHING you can do....Passport and Customs people have a scary amount of power. Guy at customs MORE than made up for it though, was retiring to Thailand in 2 months time, and spent a while chatting with us about Thailand and what to expect when he got here....VERY friendly chap.

[advocate]

Sateeb

usually the husbands/boyfriends of these women have left them for a newer model sometime in their life....hence the hostile looks. [/quote]

Have to agree with you on this, and perhaps some of them have never found a man to settle down with.

Still, I think that some of them see themselves as having some form of higher moral authority, and better than everybody else. Stuck up prudes. I know men in my hometown whose wives just refuse to have any sort of loving sexual relationship.

There are good western women, not all are this way, but I have known men who moved here from the west whose western wives were total bitches. Big surprise when the man finally wakes up, grows a set, and dumps her no matter the financial consequences.

[pharvey]

Well, sometimes I wonder if it's just not the racist buggers.... we live in China, and not Thailand - some of the comments here are not pretty, but to be honest it is expected. I am a Laowai here and a Farang there. In Thailand, we have never (to my knowledge) had comments or stares - love it. In China it is occasional, and you have to take it with a pinch of salt - stuff them. My father in law was the same before I got him out of a fight!!....... And yes, I love him to bits!!