Recently arriving in BKK I found the quick way through arrivals.. Or so I thought.
I had wangled a business class seat on a Thai Air 777 bound for Bangers. After relaxing in a window fully extended reclining seat, with a bourbon or two, I inevitably needed to check into the loo a couple of hours before landing. In a darkened plane, I carefully stepped over the slumbering aisle passenger to get to the toilet. On returning, I performed one of those delicate manoeuvres required to get back over the aisle passenger, placing a leg down between the seats then slowly pirouetting so I could straddle my own extended seat. Unfortunately, during this light ballet step I scraped my calf against the extended seat mechanism. On plonking down in the seat, I reached down to rub my calf and felt warm, wet bleeding. Oh fudge. This needs attention. this time before getting up I retracted the seat, spanned over the sleeping beauty again and instead disturbed the chief steward who was having his dinner. I explained my injury and he asked ‘what did I want him to do’? I said I wanted some antiseptic and a bandage, whatever, and I was officially reporting the seat problem. Officially, reporting? That got his attention. I did most of the medical work, signed his report form in triplicate and returned to my seat for the rest of the flight assuming all was now well. (I have been brain washed by my employer to treat and report every scratch or paper cut that happens on work time. No report-no liability)..
Once we had landed and connected to the air-bridge a flight attendant came for me and said, “Come sir, you are first off for medical attention”.’ It’s only a scratch’, I protested. ‘Please come sir’. Ok then, First time first off. Airport medical staff met me at the aircraft door and escorted to the end of the air bridge where a blue Medi-cab was waiting. Red light flashing we were off speeding down the arrival concourse, bypassing the immigration lines, through a side door, to special attention and a quick passport stamp. Ah this was good, so quick. My escort then asked for my baggage ticket, someone appeared, took the ticket and told me the baggage will be taken care of. Oh?
Then away again at a mad (Thai) pace again to the ‘landside’ of the airport and dropped off at the escalator close to the Medical Emergency Clinic. I could see the airport front doors so close in record time but I had not received my baggage yet. On check-in at the clinic, the staff seemed disappointed: No coronary? No DVT? No stroke, Oh just a scratch. Ah, you have been drinking! Guilty by two bourbons.
‘Please wait sir’.
My bag appeared five minutes later passing though Customs all by itself. Was it 20 kilos of drugs or 20 kilo of dirty clothes? All they did was sniff and maybe X-ray, if at all.
‘Please wait longer sir’ .
'We check BP, heart rate temperature, vital signs' and wallet .
Finally after 30 mins my wound was dressed for fee of 250 baht. Somehow, was it my fault so I pay not Thai Air?. (This account was passed onto my employer.)
My quick way through the airport had evaporated. An argument with the taxi driver into BKK on wanting the meter used, not his special price did not help my grumpy mood and then I arriving in a flooded street at my hotel . Ah I am in Bangkok!.
My first beer later was marvellous.
