Who are/were you when you are/were 24?

Post by **linktolinh** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 2:31 pm

I'm 24 and I can not answer the question Who am I now.

My foots are itchy if I stay in 1 place for more than 6 months. I need to ride, fly and get around. I care about money, try my best in job and ofcourse i need love. It seems like I want everything at the same time.

Normally I will get what I want, but life is not such easy. I have to face the mistakes I made, learn to get over your failure. I'm now in the cross-road
Suddenly I chicken out because I stopped and relized that I'm no where in my life and have no clear target for it.

For a women is it time now ( when u r 24) to make up your mind and make a clear path for your future life? I know in Western world when you are 24 you are normally very independence, have your own life and career, you are strong enough to decided your things.

I know many of you in this forum passed your 24 years of your life, you have a family now, your job, travelling the world. How things worked out with you?

Could you share with me your experience of making decisions for your life when u r/were in your 20s.

Post by **lomuamart** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 3:35 pm

Well, by 22, I'd done the education thing - school, university and law school. Travelled for a year and fell into publishing in London.
By 24, I had a decent job. By 28 or so, it was even better. Lots of girlfriends, wining, dining, big holidays and then bought my house in London.
The next 12 years were hard. Work, work work. Not much play and then I said bugger all of this, I've had enough of the rat race and came over to Thailand at 40. Been here for 7.5 years.
24 years old? That seems a long time ago for me, but I do remember they were good times. It was the stage in my life when all my energy went into work and play. Enjoy it while you can, Linh.
I wouldn't think too hard about the future at your age. I'm sure it will follow along.

Post by **Bamboo Grove** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 4:47 pm

At 24 I was still in the university studying for my M.Ed. After finishing my studies at 26 I came to Asia (China) for the first time and life was never the same. I went back to Finland for a year and taught in primary school. Then back to China and other countries in Asia. Again back to Finland as I wasn't sure whether I wanted to live there at least for some more years and finish my degree in Chinese. After a month I knew it was a mistake and when the school term ended, I returned to Asia. This time to Thailand and I've been here since then. I was 29 at that time. I'll be celebrating the 20th anniversery of my first trip to Asia in March.
As for the age, it really varies from person to person when they know what they want. But I'd say if you have chances to try something new and the doors want close behind you, then give it a go.

Post by **Yung** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 7:13 pm

Jumped of my college education after 1 1/2 years to go to technical/maritime college. My parents were REALLY upset about it, but it was the most important/best descision I have ever made. Finished with a Chief Engineer licence exam when I was 22 and did my duty in the navy for a year. Then I started sailing on a "world wide" container liner ship and got to see a little bit of the world. After this my hometown did not do it for me anymore. Now it's pretty much just painful to go back there when I have to.

I decided to move to Hua Hin in May (at age 30), after having moved around alot, changed jobs many times the last years. The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence?

I think the only thing that's important if you feel/live like this is not to burn your bridges. Then you can go back if you realise that you have made a mistake.

I sit on the beach sometimes staring out in the horizon and think about people "home" working 9 to 5, coming home to screaming kids (after digging up the driveway from the snow) and I'm pretty sure I have a better life in Hua Hin.

As for beeing settled with kids and a station wagon I found out long ago that I will live my life as I feel like, and not be bothered with other peoples opinions about how you should live.

Suddenly I chicken out because I stopped and relized that I'm no where in my life and have no clear target for it.

I still don't have a clear target for anything really and feel no need for it. Meaning of life? Be happy, enjoy, there's no way out of it alive anyway.

Post by **caller** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 10:05 pm

I envy your freedom Link, and if I was you I wouldn't feel pressured to look at the west and what is deemed success!

You actually get caught in a treadmill from an early age and there is a lot of pressure to succeed, conform, settle down, marry, have kids and before you know it - where's your life gone?

A lot will be happy with those circumstances, absolutely. But for others, it can become something that wears them down and can lead to unhappiness - often hidden.

I first travelled to the far east (from the UK) when I was 23 and deep down, I knew it had changed me. But it stayed hidden and I conformed to most of the route paths that were expected of me - although I never married.

Its taken me to more than double that age to finally break free of the shackles and plan to make happen what has been for many years, an increasing desire to change my life. I've still a way to go, but everything is slowly falling into place.

But how I wished I had done what I am doing now at least 10 years ago!!!

Okay, it seems that men are mainly (only?) answering this and you have the biological clock ticking away - which will affect your feelings no doubt, but the best advice surely has to be for you to be true to yourself.

A lot will envy you, it shouldn't be the other way around.

I have absolutely no idea if any of this makes any sense or is relevant??!!

Post by **linktolinh** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:19 am

Thanks for sharing yar stories with me,

My silly sistuation is like this:

Graduated 3 and half years ago, I just go straight forward. Got some interesting jobs, moved around, saved a lot and spend all in travelling. I enjoy my life so much that I turned out to be too confident.

After came back from Thailand 6 months ago I signed a contract with a Vnese company and I really enjoy to work here. Unfortunatelly I also plan to move on in December for two bigger plans of work and study in Europe which now turned out to be failure both and my contract with my company will be end in the end of November.

I know I need to try again but in the other hand I need to make decision here. My manager now accepted me to stay and offer me real good promotion but the message is I have to sign a long term contract. I know myself enough to know that I can hardly keep that promise with the company since I will torn out if I can not go on trips ( there is no holiday in Vietnam but 7 days/year). I know I will sneak around to find a new scholarship until it go through.

I can not fuck up the company since they are really "good" to me, first accept me for 6 months contract and now offer me to stay. I don't know how to deal with my plans either. So kind of stuck!

I'm not asking you to solve my problems, I know I can not foresee everything so I just grap what's nearest. I'm going to stay here and see what will happend next.

Sharing is a good thing to do in life. I got a very good "friend" in HHAD who always listen to my bullshit and I feel cheer up to hear your guys stories. Que sera sera...(don't know if it's the right texts)

I need friends but I feel like a stranger among Vietnamese gals around me. Don't know what's wrong with me

Maybe I should try to be more normal.
And as soon as I back to Vietnam my mom keep yelling at me: Get married, get married I give you 1 more year to get married.

Ghost, girls in my age in Vietnam are almost married with kids * what's wrong with them then?

Post by **Yung** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:05 am

I know I need to try again but in the other hand I need to make decision here. My manager now accepted me to stay and offer me real good promotion but the message is I have to sign a long term contract. I know myself enough to know that I can hardly keep that promise with the company since I will torn out if I can not go on trips ( there is no holiday in Vietnam but 7 days/year). I know I will sneak around to find a new scholarship until it go through.

I consider my self lucky to have the kind of job that i have, making it possible for me to live anywhere in the world and having 6 months off in a year to do whatever i want. I only say this because I think you have to look for a job that gives you some flexibility, you don't seem like a person who'd be happy with a 7 day holiday per year. Don't know how easy it would be in Thailand or anywhere, don't even know about your education. As you said you're not looking for anybody to solve your problems, but it is nice to get some feedback on serious issues some times.

I'm just waiting for Guess to make comments about a Dear Yung forum now...

But I think most of the foreigners in Hua Hin who stay here most of the year are people who have stepped off the "treadmill" to live a more enjoyable life without all the pressure and "A4" life stuff. Flexibility and mai pen rai ... But you need to find a way to pay for it offcourse ...

Post by **ting-tong** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:22 am

You should try to follow your feeling.Its hard sometimes I know.
I got a very good offer a few years back but I turned it down,
because I felt deep in side that I didnt want to spend all my time
working with this company.
I got another job with less money.
But with more time to live.

Good luck to you

Post by **Jimiherf** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 5:16 am

'6 months off in a year to do whatever i want' ... Yung, man, what
kind of job are you in ?

Post by **Guess** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 5:59 am

Yung wrote:
I'm just waiting for Guess to make comments about a Dear Yung forum now...

But I think most of the foreigners in Hua Hin who stay here most of the year are people who have stepped off the "treadmill" to live a more enjoyable life without all the pressure and "A4" life stuff. Flexibility and mai pen rai ... But you need to find a way to pay for it off course ...

Yung, do not worry I will not make fun. Your input to this forum has always been valid and accurate.

You are quite right about the treadmill. As you know though my reasons for being here are not the same as most farangs. I am here because this is where my family live and this is now my home.

I am the extremely lucky position to have a good wife who takes care of all my needs, so I do not have to work.

Why the hell are we having this discussion on Women's Issues.

As always "ON TOPIC".

Mai Pben Rai

Are you OK Linh

Post by **linktolinh** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 10:03 am

I'm not a serious person. I can not stay in a bad mood for more than 40 hours. Now I'm totally happy again !!!

After I finish my work this morning I will go to an Island in Cat Ba Island - Halong Bay and find something interesting to write about.

All in all I'm now working in Tourism Industry and I can always compare leisure and business, not 6 months per year but everything can be arrange

When my mom was 25 she gave birth to me!

Post by **Hails** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 3:26 pm

Last year I was 24, bumbling along, don't even want to say what I was doing with my life!

This year I am 25 and have got my shit together. Decided that what I really wanted to do was travel. I have a 7 year old daughter but I still don't want to do the settled down thing. So this year I discovered teaching English and finally saw that I could travel. I sold everything I owned, paid off debt, and am now saving hard. I'm living in a sleepout with my daughter, studying for my TESOL, doing office work and cleaning peoples houses for extra cash, and watching every cent.

Next year I'm moving to Thailand and will hopefully find a job at a Hua Hin school, and start my world trip. Don't know what the future holds but thats my plan thus far.

Deep down we all know what we want to do, and if we want it bad enough we can do it (sounds cheesy but is true). Good luck

Post by **Knocker** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:06 pm

I think my bigest mistake at 24 was not having the self confidence and belief to realize the options that life holds. I thought that if I left my job for even three months that it would harm my career irreparably. That was 20 years ago. I think the current generation of 24 year olds I see in London seem to have much more self belief.

Post by **lomuamart** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:47 pm

Knocker wrote:I think my bigest mistake at 24 was not having the self confidence and belief to realize the options that life holds. I thought that if I left my job for even three months that it would harm my career irreparably. That was 20 years ago. I think the current generation of 24 year olds I see in London seem to have much more self belief.

That's a good point. I felt the same way and there weren't many people - employers, family or friends - saying any different.
It always made me think how lucky the Aussies, Kiwis and S. Africans were. I'd meet them in India and Thailand whilst I was on a two week holiday. They were travelling the world at the same age and being encouraged to do so by their governments and future prospective employers. A year away from home was seen as a positive in a job interview situation.
I suppose we call them "gap years" now in the UK? Or two or three ....

Post by **Gin tonic - no lime** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 5:27 am

Hi lihn, at 24 I was finished technical school, and into the work work work thing. I wish I had started to travel sooner like you have. When you are young, travel can teach you so much, and you have a lot of fun learning! I didn't start seeing the world until about 45, after doing the marriage and kids thing, and like one poster says you look up one day and say where has your life gone! I think lomu said it well with

I wouldn't think too hard about the future at your age. I'm sure it will follow along.

One suggestion... now that your employer has recognized your value to the company, try to get him to understand your love of travel (itchy feet!) and make a longer leave of absense without pay, say a couple of times a year, part of the contract you sign with them !
good luck