Back in the UK after 14 years

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Vital Spark
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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by Vital Spark » Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:01 am

Thanks for that very kind offer DM, I'll bear it in mind when we're sleeping on the streets of Retford having not found a suitable house to rent.

VS :wink:
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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by oakdale160 » Mon Sep 25, 2017 5:57 am

I think that this thread is very interesting--I knew 3 couples here who have relocated back to the UK, 2 out 3 were VERY discontented here for the last year or two--they upped and left, no real farewells and replied to emails with single sentence answers. Good to get these opinions.

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by hhfarang » Mon Sep 25, 2017 10:56 pm

To DM and Buksi on bum guns...

Bum guns are no problem as you can order them on Amazon... one of the first things I installed in my master bath upon returning to the U.S.. After ten years in Thailand I could not live without one.
My brain is like an Internet browser; 12 tabs are open and 5 of them are not responding, there's a GIF playing in an endless loop,... and where is that annoying music coming from?

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by johnjar » Tue Sep 26, 2017 6:21 pm

hhfarang wrote:
Mon Sep 25, 2017 10:56 pm
To DM and Buksi on bum guns...

Bum guns are no problem as you can order them on Amazon... one of the first things I installed in my master bath upon returning to the U.S.. After ten years in Thailand I could not live without one.
"Bum guns are no problem "Apart from the danger for the inexperienced user getting an enima, if pressure is not reduced or nozzle held too close...They should have a warning tag on them.What is the technical name for them? :roll:

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by HHTel » Tue Sep 26, 2017 7:50 pm

What is the technical name for them?
Douche

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by hhfarang » Tue Sep 26, 2017 8:58 pm

johnjar wrote:
Tue Sep 26, 2017 6:21 pm
hhfarang wrote:
Mon Sep 25, 2017 10:56 pm
To DM and Buksi on bum guns...

Bum guns are no problem as you can order them on Amazon... one of the first things I installed in my master bath upon returning to the U.S.. After ten years in Thailand I could not live without one.
"Bum guns are no problem "Apart from the danger for the inexperienced user getting an enima, if pressure is not reduced or nozzle held too close...They should have a warning tag on them.What is the technical name for them? :roll:
I actually like that aspect of them... there's no cleaner feeling that washing out the first foot of large intestine! :shock: :shock: :shock: :P
My brain is like an Internet browser; 12 tabs are open and 5 of them are not responding, there's a GIF playing in an endless loop,... and where is that annoying music coming from?

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by johnjar » Tue Sep 26, 2017 9:52 pm

hhfarang wrote:
Tue Sep 26, 2017 8:58 pm
johnjar wrote:
Tue Sep 26, 2017 6:21 pm
hhfarang wrote:
Mon Sep 25, 2017 10:56 pm
To DM and Buksi on bum guns...

Bum guns are no problem as you can order them on Amazon... one of the first things I installed in my master bath upon returning to the U.S.. After ten years in Thailand I could not live without one.
"Bum guns are no problem "Apart from the danger for the inexperienced user getting an enima, if pressure is not reduced or nozzle held too close...They should have a warning tag on them.What is the technical name for them? :roll:
I actually like that aspect of them... there's no cleaner feeling that washing out the first foot of large intestine! :shock: :shock: :shock: :P
hhfarang...Better you than me mate! During my last medical prior to the old back passage inspection done with endoscope thingy by medical professionals , the enema part was first order of the day , also the old faithful prostrate check done manually and that hurt as I,me still a virgin in that area ...and the doctor didn't even take me to dinner first :(

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by Theo Naarstig » Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:57 pm

We farang can learn about basic hygiene from the Thai's. Leave your shoes outside the door, use bum guns instead of toilet paper and maybe get the occasional accidental enema and Bob's yer uncle. Took a bum gun home but the plumbing was a challenge so gave up.
The paradigm didn't work out so well when ya gets a cold blast up ya clacker.
Seen carpets in the loo in too in some northern hemisphere loos.
Yuck.

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by johnjar » Thu Sep 28, 2017 7:41 pm

Theo Naarstig wrote:
Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:57 pm
We farang can learn about basic hygiene from the Thai's. Leave your shoes outside the door, use bum guns instead of toilet paper and maybe get the occasional accidental enema and Bob's yer uncle. Took a bum gun home but the plumbing was a challenge so gave up.
The paradigm didn't work out so well when ya gets a cold blast up ya clacker.
Seen carpets in the loo in too in some northern hemisphere loos.
Yuck.
hhfarang....Atmospheric pressure, sometimes also called barometric pressure, is the pressure of average atmospheric pressure at sea level 14.7 psi,and as the medical professionals use just gravity pressure which is deemed to be safe,as the human body uses gravity when having bowel movement in opposite direction.

This opposed to the bum guns pressure which can give a blast of around 60 psi , which can cause severe damage up "ya clacker" as Theo said , at the very least the average uk carpeted bathroom will get a thorough pebble dashing in the process ....Safety First :roll:

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by Theo Naarstig » Thu Sep 28, 2017 9:04 pm

tried to avoid mentioning the UK, hhfrarang but haven't seen those toilet carpets anywhere else except in the pad we just got ourselves, didn't see any evidence of the POMS (and i mean that in a caring and nurturing way).
Up market Thai's with finely honed sculptured carpets around the toilet seats on a parquet floor tested my 30 odd years here.
My flabbers were gasted. But enough of this toilet humor, Unless we've got a thread going!

Those mini carpets were the first things we ditched.
Why do well off Thai's need carpets in the dunny?
Speak to that please.

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by Vital Spark » Thu Oct 05, 2017 1:37 am

Good evening DM,

Just a couple of teeny weeny little questions for you, if you don't mind. :wink:

1. Was renting a place in the UK easy? The reason I ask is that I read something that someone had written and they said they found it difficult to rent a place because they didn't have any utility bills (etc.) in their name, and didn't have a recent credit report (they'd been away for a while). We may buy in the future, but need to try out some areas first.

2. Have you managed to open a bank account? The writer of the same thing I read said they couldn't open a bank account because of the same reason. We don't currently have a UK bank account (just Thai and off-shore).

Our departure from here may be a couple of years off, but I'd like all the 't's crossed and 'i's dotted before we make this rather daunting move.

Thanks,
VS x
"Properly trained, man can be a dog's best friend"

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by dtaai-maai » Thu Oct 05, 2017 3:11 am

No problem, VS, though I don't think I'll be much help...

1. I was lucky. My son-in-law's father had been trying to sell his elderly mother's flat for several months without success, so the rental path suited both of us. However, I did look at a couple of (unsuitable) places through an agent, who assured me that the credit check (I had the same concerns) would be no problem. I think problems would arise if I was on benefits. I really don't think the credit check would be a problem for you.

2. I've had the same bank account for over 30 years, so I can't help you with that. I can only suggest you email some high street banks/building societies and see what they have to say.

If there's anything practical I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask. xx
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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by Pleng » Thu Oct 05, 2017 1:25 pm

Vital Spark wrote:
Thu Oct 05, 2017 1:37 am
2. Have you managed to open a bank account? The writer of the same thing I read said they couldn't open a bank account because of the same reason. We don't currently have a UK bank account (just Thai and off-shore).
I know hindsight is a wonderful thing; but presumably you previously had bank accounts in the UK? What prompted you to close them in the first place?

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by pharvey » Thu Oct 05, 2017 1:40 pm

Vital Spark wrote:
Thu Oct 05, 2017 1:37 am
Good evening DM,

Just a couple of teeny weeny little questions for you, if you don't mind. :wink:

1. Was renting a place in the UK easy? The reason I ask is that I read something that someone had written and they said they found it difficult to rent a place because they didn't have any utility bills (etc.) in their name, and didn't have a recent credit report (they'd been away for a while). We may buy in the future, but need to try out some areas first.

2. Have you managed to open a bank account? The writer of the same thing I read said they couldn't open a bank account because of the same reason. We don't currently have a UK bank account (just Thai and off-shore).

Our departure from here may be a couple of years off, but I'd like all the 't's crossed and 'i's dotted before we make this rather daunting move.

Thanks,
VS x
VS, a friend of mine (UK citizen) is relocating from Africa after 20 odd years and is in the same boat. I'm looking into the same things for him and will pass on whatever information I get.

I believe "Renters" by law must have details of the "Rentees" i.e. some proof of residence/identification - bank account, utility bills etc. Obviously difficult when you have not been in the country for several years.

I was lucky enough in that I had kept my property in the UK whilst in China (for too many years :cry: ), so things were a lot easier.

:cheers: :cheers:
"You've got to get your first tackle in early, even if it's late". Ray Gravell :wink:

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Re: Back in the UK after 14 years

Post by Vital Spark » Thu Oct 05, 2017 7:50 pm

Pleng wrote:
Thu Oct 05, 2017 1:25 pm
I know hindsight is a wonderful thing; but presumably you previously had bank accounts in the UK? What prompted you to close them in the first place?
We certainly did have bank accounts and kept them open for a while, but after several years here decided to close them. Actually, one of the banks at that time closed an account because of inactivity (it only had a couple of quid in it). Strangely enough, when I was back in the UK last June a letter arrived from Lloyds Bank - a standard letter to all account holders - telling me something boring. The UK government have a wonderful site where you can locate dormant accounts, so I contacted them. I was getting quite excited, as I thought I may have left a month's salary in an account. Got a letter here the other day......Account Balance: Zero. OK, so slight disappointment, but it's just dawned on me that that I can put some money in it next June. They've kept a zero balance account open for 20 years. :shock:

I thought I read somewhere that you can't have a UK bank account unless you're a resident (which we're not). I know people here who do keep their accounts open using a family member's address, but I'm not sure if it's strictly legal.

VS
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